The Simpsons (TV Series)

This Little Wiggy (1998)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Krusty, Mayor Quimby, Penetantiary Security Guard

Quotes 

• Penetantiary Security Guard : Somebody down there?

  Bart Simpson : [gasps]  Uh-oh. Let's get outta here!

  [Bart and Ralph quickly run off] 

  Penetantiary Security Guard : Why do I always shout first? Just gives them a chance to run away. Well, I'm an idiot.

• [Homer is playing a machine that shoots animated sperm from its gun in the "Let's Make a Baby" section in the knowledgeum] 

  Homer : C'mon, ovulate, damn you. Ovulate.

  Computer : You are out of sperm.

• Homer Simpson : Then me and my friend were about to press it, but the man said not to press it, but we pressed it anyway! And we ran and we hid in this giant tire. Oh, yeah, and my other friend was already there...

  Marge Simpson : All right. All right, now, you're overstimulated. Let's get some beer in you and then it's right to bed.

  Homer Simpson : Whoo hoo!

  [running away giddily] 

  Homer Simpson : Beer, beer, beer! Bed, bed, bed!

• Bart : I smell a museum.

  Homer : Yeah, good things don't end with 'eum,' they end with 'mania' or 'teria.'

• Troy McClure : [on a video screen]  Welcome to the Knowledgeum. I'm Troy McClure! You may remember me from such automated information kiosks as "Welcome to Springfield Airport", and "Where's Nordstrom?". While you're enjoying our hall of wonders, your car will be unfortunately be subject to repeated break-ins...

  [fades out] 

  Homer Simpson : What'd he say? What about my car?

• Mayor Quimby : [on television]  If you commit a violent crime in my town you'll end up here!

  [pointing at the electrocuting chair] 

  Ralph Wiggum : Hey hey that's our playchair!

  Mayor Quimby : [still in television]  To demonstrate what you're in for I will now strap myself in!

  Bart Simpson : Uh-oh! We didn't set it to safety switch!

  Ralph Wiggum : He's gonna smell like hotdogs!

• Bart Simpson : Alright! Woo-hoo! Way to go Ralph!

  Lisa Simpson : Ralph? But the rocket was my idea!

  Bart Simpson : But asking you was Ralph's idea.

  Homer Simpson : You're the man Ralph!

  Lisa Simpson : But surely I deserve some credit for

  Bart Simpson , Homer Simpson : [interrupted by cheering for Ralph]  Ralph! Ralph! Raplh!

  Bart Simpson : Aw, let him have this one, Lise. After all, it's Ralph!

  Lisa Simpson : [cheers for Ralph also]  Ralph! Ralph! Ralph!

• Troy McClure : Welcome to the Knowledgeum, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such automated information kiosks as "Welcome to Springfield Airport" and "Where's Nordstrom?" While you're enjoying our Hall of Wonders, your car unfortunately will be subject to repeated break-ins and...

  [Fades] 

  Homer : What'd he say? What about my car?