The Simpsons (TV Series)

Bart vs. Australia (1995)

Phil Hartman: Evan Conover

Quotes 

• U.S. Ambassador : Good news, we've worked out a compromise that will allow both nations to save face.

  Conover : We've argued them down to... a booting.

  Homer , Marge , Bart : WHAT?

  U.S. Ambassador : The Prime Minister just wants to kick Bart once, through the gate, with a regular shoe.

  Conover : I believe it's a wing tip.

• Homer : What kind of sick country would kick someone with a giant boot?

  Conover : Mr. Simpson, shush! Disparaging the boot is a bootable offense. It's one of their proudest traditions.

• Conover : Well, it's too late to merely pay back the money, but as a sign of good faith to our Australian friends, we'd like to imprison Bart for five years.

  Homer : That's tough but fair.

• Homer : All Bart has to do is apologize and we get a free trip to Australia?

  Conover : Mm-hmm.

  Bart : I can handle that. I'm an expert in phony apologies.

  Marge : Bart!

  Bart : I'm sorry.

  Marge : That's better.

  Bart : Heh, heh.