Seinfeld (TV Series)

Male Unbonding (1990)

Jerry Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jerry Seinfeld : Should I suffer the rest of my life because I like to play Ping-Pong?

• Elaine Benes : [while snacking away on M&Ms in Jerry's Apartment]  Come on, let's go do something. I don't wanna just sit around here.

  Jerry Seinfeld : Okay.

  Elaine Benes : Wanna go get something to eat?

  Jerry Seinfeld : Where do you wanna go?

  Elaine Benes : I don't care, I'm not hungry.

• Kramer : Hey, you missed a great game tonight Buddy.

  Jerry Seinfeld : Game?

  Kramer : Knick game! Horneck took me. We're sitting two rows behind the bench. We were getting hit by *sweat*!

• [first lines] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : Most men like working on things... Tools, objects, fixing things. This is what men enjoy doing. Have you ever noticed if a guy's out in his driveway, working on something with tools, how all of the other men in the neighborhood are magnetically drawn to this activity? They just come wandering out of the house like zombies. Men, it's true, men hear a drill, it's like a dog whistle, it just... You know, they go running up to that living room curtain, "Honey, I think Jim's working on something over there." So they run over to the guy. Now, they don't actually help the guy. No. They just want to hang around the area where work is being done. That's what men want to do. We want to watch the guy. We want to talk to him, We want to ask him dumb questions. You know, "What are you using, a Phillips head there?" You know, we feel involved. That's why, when they have construction sites, they have to have those wood panel fences around it. That's just to keep the men out. They cut those little holes for us so we can see what the hell is going on... but if they don't cut those holes, we are climbing those fences. "Right over there. What are you using, the steel girders down here? Yeah, that'll hold."

• [last lines] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : You know, I really... I've come to the conclusion that there are certain friends in your life, that they're just always your friends, and you have to accept it. You see them, you don't really want to see them. You don't call them, they call you. You don't call back, they call again. The only way to get through talking with people that you don't really have anything in common with is to pretend that you're hosting your own little talk show. This is what I do. You pretend there's a little desk around you.