Roseanne (TV Series)

The Last Thursday in November (1995)

Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner

Quotes 

• Roseanne Conner : I will never laugh at F-Troop again, no matter how funny that Larry Storch is.

  Mr. Hill - DJ's Teacher : Don't get me started on F-Troop, I mean I never saw an Indian person go woo-woo-woo! And I've seen a lot of drunk rednecks do it.

• Roseanne Conner : What elk horn do I have to blow on to get something to eat around here?

• Roseanne Conner : [as a Pilgrim]  Earth is a woman? That's nothing but heathen talk... I'll tell you how everything works, God is in heaven, on a throne, so He can damn everything.

• Roseanne Conner : [as a Pilgrim]  I wish I could stay here and learn more from you.

  Indian woman : So pick up my cassettes in the lobby.

• Man : You gotta admit them Pilgrims was pretty brave, they came over here and discovered America.

  Mr. Hill - DJ's Teacher : How could they discover America if my people had already lived here? That's like me going outside and discovering someone else's Porsche.

  Roseanne Conner : Yeah, that's like that time my husband shimmied up the telephone pole and discovered cable.

• Indian woman : Daughter, sit, I have much to tell you. Heaven and Earth are the same, man exists with woman, he's part of woman. Woman gives life to man.

  Roseanne Conner : I cannot understand what you're talking about.

  Indian woman : Well, you should understand, you're a woman. Women give life, like the Earth does.

  Roseanne Conner : You thought all this up sitting in your hut?

  Indian woman : Well, I get out some, the occasional walk, you know.

• Woman : [complaining about the way the Pilgrims and Indians were depicted in the play]  It just so happens my great-great-great-grandmother was an authentic...

  Mr. Hill - DJ's Teacher : Cherokee princess, I'm sorry, but there's no such thing as princesses among Native people.

  Roseanne Conner : [to woman]  You're so busted! And your roots are brown!

• Roseanne Conner : I don't dance until last call, so you'll have to lead.

  Mr. Hill (DJ's Teacher) : No, nobody leads. Get up, we all dance in a circle.

  Roseanne Conner : Oh, I get it, it's like that Jewish dance, the Hora!

  Jackie Harris : We've done this at the Y too.

  Mr. Hill (DJ's Teacher) : One people.

  Beverly Harris : We do this at the senior center!

• Woman : I am just sorry I let my son be in this play. I don't want my tax dollars going towards this kind of violence!

  Roseanne Conner : The play was violent because that's the way it was, or don't you rent videos?

• Jackie Harris : So this year should we get the rolls that burn to a crisp, or the ones that explode in flames?

  Roseanne Conner : Well, flames are more fun for the kids, and kids are what the holidays are all about.