Red Dwarf (TV Series)

Waiting for God (1988)

Chris Barrie: Rimmer

Photos 

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Rimmer : Incredible. A stupendous moment in my personal history. The perfectly preserved remains of a Quagaar warrior.

  Lister : Yeah, right, Rimmer. Absolutely.

  Rimmer : They must have looked something like... a roast chicken.

  [end credits begin to roll, then freeze after a few seconds] 

  Rimmer : [voice over]  It's a garbage pod!

  [credits resume, and freeze again after a few seconds] 

  Rimmer : [voice over]  IT'S A SMEGGING GARBAGE POD!

• Rimmer : After intensive investigation, comma, of the markings on the alien pod, comma, it has become clear, comma, to me, comma, that we are dealing, comma, with a species of awesome intellect, colon.

  Holly : Good. Perhaps they might be able to give you a hand with your punctuation.

• Lister : Six breasts? Imagine making love to a woman with six breasts!

  Rimmer : Imagine making love to a woman!

• Holly : [reading Rimmer's confidential report]  Arnold Rimmer: Technician 2nd Class. Captain's remarks: There's a saying amongst the officers, "If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing well. If it's not worth doing, give it to Rimmer". He aches for responsibility, but constantly fails the engineering exam.

  Rimmer : Wait, Holly. I want *my* report. RIMMER. That's two m's e-r.

  Holly : Astoundingly zealous. Possibly mad. Probably has more teeth than brain cells. Promotion prospects: comical.

  Rimmer : No, Holly. I want my report. RIMMER. That's 2 R's. One at the front, one at the back.

  Holly : Arnold, this is your report.

• [after Lister explains that cat books use smells] 

  Rimmer : You ought to try reading you shirt sometime, Lister. It's probably a novel by Victor Hugo.

• Lister : Never mind this, tot. Where's the Cat?

  Rimmer : Tot?

  Lister : Tot.

  Rimmer : Tot?

  Lister : Tot.

  Rimmer : Tot?

  Lister : Tot!

  Lister : Tot!

  Rimmer : TOT?

  Lister : TOT!

  Rimmer : TOT? TOT? WE'LL SEE HOW TOTTY THIS IS, LADDIE. THE QUARATINE PEROID'S NEARLY UP... BASTARD!

• Rimmer : [the original ending]  It must had looked something like... a roast chicken.

  [Rimmer thinks about what he had just said] 

  Rimmer : It's the bloody garbage pod. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME LISTER? IT'S THE FUCKING GARBAGE POD!

  [Lister smirks and puts the roast chicken back in the garbage pod] 

• Rimmer : Constantly fails the exam? I'd hardly call 11 times constantly.

• [Rimmer's excited about his 'alien' discovery] 

  Rimmer : Lister are you awake? Lister?

  [right up to his face] 

  Rimmer : LISTER.

  Lister : What?

  Rimmer : Are you awake?

  Lister : Yeah.

  Rimmer : Hmm, I couldn't sleep either.

• Rimmer : You've got no right to go through my wardrobe.

  Lister : Ok, ok.

  [Starts laughing] 

  Lister : You keep your underpants on coat hangers, don't you?

• Rimmer : [Rimmer interrupts the closing credits]  It's a garbage pod... IT'S A SMEGGING GARBAGE POD!