- Lister learns he is the mythical god of Cat's people known as "Cloister the stupid" and Red Dwarf stumbles upon a Red Dwarf garbage capsule and Rimmer thinks it's a stasis capsule carrying a dormant alien woman.
- Rimmer consults Holly for the Captain's confidential reports of the crew, just the remarks of Lister and himself, both are negative, Rimmer's even more so, Holly detects an object on the scanners and investigates. Lister is in his bunk reading with his nose, the book is made for the cat race and they read via scents, Rimmer sees him and scoffs at this, Rimmer mentions the unidentified object which Lister believes is just more rocks, Holly informs Rimmer the object is within visual range and goes to see, bumping into Cat in the corridors having a found a yo-yo.
Rimmer sees the object is a pod and orders it reeled in, Cat sees Lister and gives him a holy book he'd requested, the book contains images of Lister, the Cat god, Cloister the Stupid, Lister reveals he is the god of the Cat race, but Cat is doubtful and leaves, Lister asks Holly to translate the holy book when Rimmer rushes in to tell Lister of the pod.
They go to see, Rimmer believes it's the stasis pod of an alien race and wishes to open it, he goes of to bring the skutters and Lister goes into the quarantine room to view to the pod, he discovers it's a Red Dwarf garbage pod with the text eroded off in places, Holly did it as a prank.
In the morning Holly tells Lister of his studies of the holy book, Lister is their god, but like any faith this led to dogma, holy wars over a misinterpreted tradition. The cats built two arks and left Red Dwarf to find the holy land using coordinates misread off an old laundry list of Lister's. One ark flew into an asteroid, the other wandered the universe aimlessly. Lister is distraught over this news.
He goes to tell Rimmer who isn't interested, he's too focused with the "alien" pod, Lister goes looking for Cat in the lower levels, Cat is with the man who raised him, a blind priest, he is dying and lost his faith, he asks Cat to burn his sacred hat, part of the holy attire, Cat takes it and wears it because it looks cool. Lister enters the room, the priest begs forgiveness for losing his faith, but Lister consoles him, it's all he can do, he gives the priest his hat back, the priest believes it a miracle and rises to his feet before falling over dead.
The pod is about to be opened, Lister is doing the honors, Rimmer is anticipated, Lister opens the pod and takes out a discarded roast chicken, it takes Rimmer a few seconds to realize the truth.
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