House M.D. (TV Series)

Failure to Communicate (2006)

Hugh Laurie: Dr. Gregory House

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Quotes 

• Stacy Warner : Why does this matter to you?

  Dr. Gregory House : It's an anomaly. Anomalies bug me.

  Stacy Warner : Then you're going to suffer.

• Dr. Gregory House : I teach you to lie, cheat, and steal, and as soon as my back is turned you wait in line?

• Stacy Warner : If I thought you were capable of listening, I'd shut up.

  Dr. Gregory House : That makes no sense at all.

• Dr. Wilson : [Wilson calls House on Stacy's cell phone]  Do you know your phone's dead? Do you ever recharge your batteries?

  Dr. Gregory House : They recharge? I just keep buying new phones.

• Stacy Warner : Our relationship's like an addiction. It's... like...

  Dr. Gregory House : Really good drugs?

  Stacy Warner : No, it's like vindaloo curry.

  Dr. Gregory House : Okay, sure.

  Stacy Warner : Really, really hot Indian curry they make with red chili peppers.

  Dr. Gregory House : I know what it is. I didn't think it was addictive.

  Stacy Warner : You're abrasive and annoying and come on way too strong, like... vindaloo curry. When you're crazy about curry, that's fine. But no matter how much you love curry, you have too much of it, it takes the roof of your mouth off. And then you never wanna see curry for a really, really long time. But you wake up one day and you think... God, I really miss curry...

  Stacy Warner : You're a jerk.

  Dr. Gregory House : I know.

• Stacy Warner : Is your patient gonna be all right?

  Dr. Gregory House : Physically, his chances are good.

  Stacy Warner : Physically?

  Dr. Gregory House : Two people who weren't meant to be together. Maybe they'll get a happy ending just because they both want it so much.

  Stacy Warner : Yeah, that's usually the way it works.

  Dr. Gregory House : He loved her enough to convince himself he could change.

  Stacy Warner : But he couldn't. Could he?

• Dr. Gregory House : Whatever your name is, patient, are you bipolar?

  Dr. Gregory House : What? I can't see. Is he nodding?

  Fletcher Stone : Yes!

  Dr. Gregory House : Topamax isn't just off-label for weight loss. It's off-label for mood disorders. Plenty of bipolars are manic in the daytime, depressive at night. He's been medicating for years with alcohol. Sleeping through the bad hours. It explains the danger journalism. It explains everything, including the kitchen sink. Okay, technically it's kitchen cabinets. He starts a project, then he stops.

  Dr. Allison Cameron : Except bipolar disorder does not cause seizures.

  Dr. Gregory House : And it doesn't shut down your kidneys. But what it does do...

  Guard : Excuse me, sir. May I see your ID?

  Dr. Gregory House : I'm on the phone.

  Guard : Now, please.

  Dr. Robert Chase : House? What is it?

  Dr. Gregory House : I'm a doctor! This is an emergency call!

  Guard : You have to come with me, Sir.

  Dr. Gregory House : I'm not going anywhere! Do you think you're gonna take me on? I kick, and I bite!

  Guard : You're either on that plane, or you're going into custody.

  Dr. Eric Foreman : House? You still there?

  Dr. Gregory House : Being bipolar makes you take risks. You seek excitement. You make up stories.

  Fletcher Stone : I dime valutate a lever!

  Dr. Gregory House : Fine, maybe your stories are legit. But people would start to wonder. Annoyed politicians. Entire governments would be on your ass. So you couldn't tell anybody you were bipolar. Which was fine... until you fell in love. And you wanted that life. And you hear that there's a surgical cure. You can give the woman you love the life she wants. All you have to do is change. Bilateral cingulotomy. An experimental surgery that some people claim helps mood disorders.

  Dr. Eric Foreman : And if it's done by gamma knife, there's no trace of cutting. That's the neural scarring we saw on the MRI.

  Dr. Allison Cameron : Which explained nothing because it wasn't even in the right area.

  Dr. Gregory House : It's not the surgery, it's the secrecy! What causes recurring fever? Neurological problems, lethargy that you fight with caffeine pills and amphetamines? It wasn't your secret psych disorder. It wasn't your secret daily drug use. It was the secret trip for your secret surgery in Caracas or Buenos Aires. Which, by the way, didn't work, given the state of your kitchen cabinets.

  Dr. Allison Cameron : House! Shut up!

  Dr. Gregory House : What's going on?

  Elizabeth Stone : Is he right? Your doctors know you better than I do. That man on the speaker phone, he never even met you, and he knows you better than I do. You love me?

  Fletcher Stone : Yes! Yes!

  Elizabeth Stone : You just don't trust me.

  Dr. Gregory House : Get some blood on a slide. Do not put it through a computer this time.

• Dr. Gregory House : You know, "Stacy" in the original Greek means "relationship killer".

• Stacy Warner : You know what Woody Allen said about relationships? Irrational and crazy, but go through it all because...

  Dr. Gregory House : We need the curry.

• Stacy Warner : Our relationship's like an addiction. It's... like...

  Dr. Gregory House : Really good drugs?

  Stacy Warner : No, it's like vindaloo curry.

  Dr. Gregory House : Okay, sure.

  Stacy Warner : Really, really hot Indian curry they make with red chili peppers.

  Dr. Gregory House : I know what it is. I didn't think it was addictive.

  Stacy Warner : You're abrasive and annoying and come on way too strong, like... vindaloo curry. When you're crazy about curry, that's fine. But no matter how much you love curry, you have too much of it, it takes the roof of your mouth off. And then you never wanna see curry for a really, really long time. But you wake up one day and you think... God, I really miss curry...

  Stacy Warner : You're a jerk.

• Stacy Warner : He's pushing me out of his life.

  Dr. Gregory House : Or maybe you're misinterpreting.

  Stacy Warner : Did I misinterpret with you? At least this time I recognize it. That's the benefit of convincing the only two men you've ever loved, they're better off without you.

• Dr. Gregory House : That's because you guys haven't scared him enough. I'm sure you've been all, "we'll take real good care of you." Why should he say anything? When you prep him, tell him he's gonna die. Crush all hope. Don't let Cameron do it.