The Dukes of Hazzard (TV Series)

One Armed Bandits (1979)

John Schneider: Bo Duke

Photos 

Quotes 

• Cooter Davenport : Crazy Cooter talkin'. Turkey coming right down my alley. Gobble, gobble.

  Luke Duke : Did you copy that Daisy? Cooter's on 421.

  Daisy Duke : 10-4.

  Luke Duke : [to Bo, in the General Lee]  Hit it.

  Leroy : [Daisy, in a bikini, pretends to be stranded]  Lookey here, lookey here. What have we got here?

  Driver : Leroy, let's get that girl right here. I'm gonna steal that away. Are you having trouble, little lady?

  Daisy Duke : Yeah. I'm having a picnic. Which way to the beach?

  [Driver & Leroy laughed together] 

  Driver : There ain't no beach around here.

  Daisy Duke : Oh. And me with this basketful of lemonade and chitlin sandwiches.

  [Driver & Leroy laughed together, again] 

  Bo Duke : All right boys. Hang 'em high and don't look around.

  Daisy Duke : Now, y'all promised me you wouldn't bring machine guns.

• The Balladeer : Daisy Duke is Bo and Luke's cousin. She drives like Richard Petty, shoots like Annie Oakley, and knows the words to all Dolly Parton's songs.

  Bo Duke : Now if we weren't cousins, I'd marry you.

  Daisy Duke : That's never stopped anyone in this family before.

  Bo Duke : You got a point there.

  [laughs] 

• Bo Duke : You know, when I got up this mornin', the biggest thing on my mind was to do a little rabbit huntin'.

  Luke Duke : Then the hounddog runs off...

  Bo Duke : ...and my car is taken...

  Luke Duke : ...and now we're chasin' the sheriff's car. Ain't you glad we're not in the big city where life gets complicated?

• Bo Duke : [outside orphanage]  So, here's your money.

  Jill Rae Dodson : [arms filled with bags of coins]  Ah, you're kidding.

  Bo Duke : I never kid about love or money.

  Jill Rae Dodson : But how...?

  Bo Duke : That was donated by some very civic-minded people. It's not much, but it's a start. I'm gonna collect from them every week.

  Jill Rae Dodson : Oh, that's wonderful!

  [jumps up against him, hugs him] 

  Bo Duke : Oh, I knew it, I knew it! It is my money you're after. Everyone said it was my body.

  Jill Rae Dodson : Incredible.

  Bo Duke : My body?

  Jill Rae Dodson : No, your ego.

  Bo Duke : Hey, thanks. I've been working on it for years.

  Jill Rae Dodson : Look, don't get me wrong. I appreciate the money, really. It's just that I know that this is only a game to you.

  Bo Duke : A game?

  Jill Rae Dodson : Bo, this project is very serious to me. For the two weeks I've been back, I've fought the rotten county politics, the Health Department, everybody, to try and save this place. The only reason we're being closed down is because Boss Hogg controls the Board and wants the land.

  Bo Duke : What does Boss want the land for?

  Jill Rae Dodson : A shopping center. This was my home. The best possible any orphanage could be. You mean well, and any other time, it might be fun. But I just don't have time for your cute country shucking and jiving right now.

  Bo Duke : I do like a woman salty.

  Jill Rae Dodson : You haven't been listening.

  Bo Duke : Sure I have. You've been away to the big city and now you've come back to save the old homestead.

  Jill Rae Dodson : Look, I...

  Bo Duke : Well, while you were gone all that time... I was here fighting that same rotten system every day.

  Jill Rae Dodson : Look...

  Bo Duke : Now, I live here. I choose this life. Not because I don't know no better, but because I believe it is better. And I'm gonna fight anything or anyone that pollutes the well where I drink. Saving this orphanage is just part of it.

  Jill Rae Dodson : I didn't mean...

  Bo Duke : And another thing. If you think I'm doing all of this just to make a play for you, well, would you grow up? Because believe it or not, when I make a play on a lady, I don't have to give her money. Although it do keep her hands busy.

• Daisy Duke : Really. His brother's bringing in these slot machines on a fertilizer truck. And then that silly dude wants me to go to the No-Tell Motel with him. Says he'll take me off to Nashville. See the Grand Ole Opry, the works. I reckon I've never wanted to see anything that bad. Not even...

  Daisy Duke , Bo Duke , Jerry - Bartender : ...Dolly Parton.

  Daisy Duke : Cheers.

• Jill Rae Dodson : Bo, may I ask you something seriously, please? Where is all that money really coming from? It's so much! And it's always in quarters.

  [looks at him suspiciously] 

  Bo Duke : Well, the true source is a very prominent man who'd be real embarrassed if everybody knew.

  Jill Rae Dodson : Oh, he's a philanthropist?

  Bo Duke : [nods]  He'd been called everything.