The Mummy Returns (2001)

Shaun Parkes: Izzy

Photos 

Quotes 

• [on seeing Izzy's dirigible, Rick draws his gun] 

  Izzy : Whoa, whoa, whoa! She's faster than she looks. And she's quiet. Real quiet. Perfect for sneaking up on people, which is a very good thing.

  Izzy : [lowers voice]  Unless, of course, we go with your approach, barging in face-first, guns blazing, and getting your friends shot in the ass!

• [after their narrow escape, Izzy cheers wildly, then rounds on O'Connell, furious] 

  Izzy : O'Connell. You almost got me killed!

  Rick : [shrugs weakly]  At least you didn't get shot.

  Evelyn : Izzy! Thank you!

  [kisses Izzy on the cheek] 

  Evelyn : Thank you!

  [kisses Izzy on the cheek again] 

  Jonathan : [with his diamond]  Yes! Yes! Yes!

  Izzy : [considerably more mellow]  O'Connell, who the hell you been messin' with this time, huh?

  Rick : Oh, you know, the usual. Mummies, pygmies, big bugs.

• Izzy : Remember that bank job in Marrakesh?

  Evelyn : Bank job?

  Rick : It's not like it sounds.

  Izzy : Ah, it's exactly how it sounds. I'm flying high, *hiding* in the sun. The white boy here flags me down, so I fly in low for the pickup. The next thing I know, I get shot! I'm lying in the middle of the road with my spleen hanging out and I see him waltzing up with some belly dancer girl.

  Evelyn : Belly dancer girl? Izzy, I think you and I should talk.

  Izzy : As long as I don't get shot.

• Izzy : [to Rick]  Whatever it is, whatever you need, I don't care. Forget it, O'Connell. Every time I hook up with you, I get shot! Last time, I got shot in the ass! I'm in mourning for my ass!

• [last lines] 

  Izzy : Uh, that's half mine, you know.

  Jonathan : What?

  Izzy : [indicating the diamond]  That's half mine.

  Jonathan : I have no idea what you're talking about.

  Izzy : What? You took my gold stick! I know you took my gold stick!

  Jonathan : No, I have no id... I swear on the head of my wife, I have no idea what you're talking about.

  Izzy : You haven't... you a... you ain't got a wife!

  Jonathan : I don't got your gold stick either!

  [they keep arguing and their voices fade as the ship sails off into the sunset] 

• Izzy : Isn't she beautiful?

  Rick : It's a balloon.

  Izzy : Ah! It's a dirigible.

  Rick : Where's your airplane?

  Izzy : Hah, airplanes are a thing of the past.

  Rick : Izzy, you were right.

  Izzy : I was?

  Rick : Yeah.

  [draws pistol] 

  Rick : You're gonna get shot.

• Izzy : This thing was filled with gas. Not hot air. Gas. I need gas to get this thing off the ground. Where am I gonna get gas from around here? Huh? Bananas? Mangos? What, Tarzan's ass? Well, maybe I could finagle it to take hot air. But do you know how many cubic meters I'd need? It's too big!

  Rick : If anybody can fill this thing up with hot air, Izzy... it's you.

• Izzy : O'Connell, if you give me that gold stick there, then you can shave my head, wax my legs, and use me for a surfboard.

  Rick : Didn't we do that in Tripoli?

• Rick : When did you lose your eye?

  Izzy : Oh, I didn't.

  [lifting up his eyepatch to reveal a good eye] 

  Izzy : I just thought it made me look more dashing.

• Izzy : Well, that's not good.

• Izzy : You're not exactly catching me at my best.

  Evelyn : Oh, I'm sure I am.