Muppets Treasure Island (1996 Video Game)
Jerry Nelson: Blind Pew, Mad Monty, Island Heads, Statler, Old Tom, Skulls
Quotes
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Billy Bones : And no one knows to this day what happened to the treasure. Or the treasure map. Maybe you'll find them, Eh Hawkins. Hawkins? Ha!
[Billy Bones looks at you and laughs. Rizzo the Rat laughs]
The Great Gonzo : Tell us another adventure Mr. Bones. My favorite is the story about the one legged man.
Billy Bones : Ah, The one legged man? I told you to never to mention that cursed beast! Now get back there and finish brewing my stew. I feel the horrors coming on, begone!
Rizzo the Rat : The horrors. Oh I think I'll be going now. Ho.
[Gonzo and Rizzo head over to the kitchen. Billy Bones stands up and also heads into the kitchen. Then Blind Pew opens the top half of the front door]
:Blind Pew : Eh. Hi Billy Bones it's me Blind Pew! Come to settle the score! Heh heh, heh, Whoa, ow, whoa, ow!
[Blind Pew trips over the trash cans. Billy Bones comes out of the kitchen. Walks upstairs to his room and sees the paper with the black spot on it]
Billy Bones : THE BLACK SPOT! NO!
[Then Stevenson the Parrot appears on the stair rails]
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:Blind Pew : Huh. Billy Bones! ha ha ha, It's your old pal come to see you! Ha! See you! Ha ha ha! That's a joke! I am blind I cannot see!
[Blind Pew continues to laughs and he crashes into the trash cans]
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:Blind Pew : Ho ho I'll be coming back with some friends to take back our treasure map, and whatever else we can lay our eyes on. He he he. Get it? Eyes! Lay our eyes on. Ha ha, that kill me.
[Blind Pew falls down the stairs]
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Female Tourist Rat : There's gotta be something better! Something better!
Mr. Plagueman : Yeah! There's gotta be something better than this place.
Female Tourist Rat : Maybe we'll find it on our vacation.
Mr. Plagueman : Yeah.
Female Tourist Rat : Bristol here we come.
Mr. Plagueman : Hoo ha.
Female Tourist Rat : Did you remember the travelers checks?
Mr. Plagueman : Don't leave this place without them.
[the two rats laugh]
Mr. Plagueman : Oh Donna!
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Rizzo the Rat : Pirates!
[the pirates break down the door and search the room]
The Great Gonzo : Woo. Uh oh.
:Blind Pew : We'd be taking back that treasure map now! What's that? I smell something burning.
[Then the dynamite explodes and blows up part of the Benbow bedroom Inn. Gonzo and Rizzo go flying in the air before falling down]
Cart Driver : Look out! It's raining rats and uh whatevers. Oh I've had enough of this job, I'm outta here.
[Then the cart driver man gets out of the cart and walks off]
The Great Gonzo : Whoa Hawkins! Ahh! Incoming!
Rizzo the Rat : Look out below!
[Rizzo the rat falls in the molasses barrel and splatters molasses all over Jim Hawkins face and he can't see]
The Great Gonzo : Molasses. What a mess.
[the cart moves]
Rizzo the Rat : Whew. That was a close one. Now if there was only some way to pass the time between here and Bristol.
Rizzo the Rat : [singing] 99 pieces of cheese on the wall. 99 pieces of cheese. Take one down. Pass it around. 98 pieces of cheese on the wall. 98 pieces of cheese on the wall, 98 pieces of cheese. Take one down let it turn brown. 97 pieces of cheese on the wall. 97 pieces of cheese on the wall 97 pieces of cheese. Take one down trade it for a pound...
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Pops : Hey there! You look like you could use some new clothes. Come on in.
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Pops : Welcome. Not to be rude but eh, ahem that flung out of a burning building, landing in a vegetable truck covered by molasses look went out of style last year. How bout we make a deal?
[Pops walks over to the next screen showing five clothes outfits]
Pops : If you keep them pirates away from my store. You can earn enough for one of my Ned sure Ed wire specials over here, I'll pay you one doubloon for every nasty pirate you hit. But, don't hit any of my customers or I'll have to dock your pay. It's that simple.
[Pops walks back and the pie launcher is set at the door]
Pops : The anti-buccaneer lunch launcher is ready for firing, good luck.
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Pops : Nice shooting! let me ring er up.
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Pops : You shoots you scores!
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Pops : Take that! Hee hee hee.
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Pops : Take that you scoundrel!
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Pops : Got him!
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Pops : Ooh, that's gonna hurt.
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Pops : Missed him you good for nothing!
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Pops : Bingo!
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Pops : Nice shooting!
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Pops : Got another!
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Pops : Used to have a great view from here til they put up that Spyglass Inn. Hmph.
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Clueless Morgan : Hey hey you know, that Squire's a real smart person. Yeah you know, we went to Oxford together.
Mad Monty : Oxford university?
Clueless Morgan : Well, you mean there's a university there? Figured.
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Pops : Thanks for helping out. Hope to see you again bye.
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Lew Zealand : Wanna play a game with me? Go fish heh heh heh heh heh.
[He throws the fish]
Lew Zealand : Hey, alright.
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Angel Marie : You know, if we don't get on our ship soon, we may have to find an honest job in Bristol.
Walleye Pike : An honest job? I'd rather be gully hated.
Mad Monty : That can be arranged mate. That can be arranged. Sigh let's keep looking.
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Waldorf : Watch where you fall stiff buster.
Statler : Yeah, how would you like to get a really big splinter. Doh ho ho ho.
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Stevenson the Parrot : [Hawkins wakes up from his sleep in the barrel and opens the cover] Hey hey Hawkins! Wake up! I think I hear something.
Mad Monty : [the pirates yell, laugh and complain] Grr. I'd say we kill the captain now! Along with that Hawkins and the other fleet! Ha ha ha! Apple anyone?
Bad Polly : And after that, we can put that son of a bear and make a rug out of him.
Clueless Morgan : Yeah! And then we'll dress up like ladies and big hats and pointy shoes and dance on him.
Long John Silver : Patience you scurvy dogs! We'll take control of this ship soon enough! And if any of you mutiny before I say so! I will do to you what I'm going to do to them! I say we go ashore and find the treasure. When we return to the ship. We'll kill the lot of them! And the treasure, will be ours!
[the pirates yell]
Mad Monty , Clueless Morgan , Angel Marie : Yeah! Grr! Murder!
The Great Gonzo : Why those little worms!
Rizzo the Rat : And speaking of worms, I'm hungry. Where's breakfast?
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Long John Silver : Hey mate! Come a little closer won't ya. I need a hand here before shoving off to the island. And be quick about it! The tide is coming in!
The Great Gonzo : Be quick about it? I'll give him quick about it!
Rizzo the Rat : Yeah I've got a good mind to tweak his nose!
The Great Gonzo : Ooh. That sounds like fun. Could you do me next?
Rizzo the Rat : Oh get out of here!
Long John Silver : Hawkins mate! Will you do old Long John a favor and hand him his crutch? I can't reach it from here!
Stevenson the Parrot : Okay Hawkins. I guess you should help the one legged man. You know the nice one legged man who we overheard saying going to kidnap you and steal the treasure and kill everyone on board ship and Wait wrong! Don't don't don't help the one legged man hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!
Long John Silver : Grab him boys!
[Hawkins gets captured and blindfolded by Mad Monty regardless of whether or not the player hand clicks the crutch or not]
Mad Monty : Gotcha! You're coming with us!
[Gonzo gasps and the pirates puts Hawkins in the jolly boat]
The Great Gonzo : Gasp! Whoa Hawkins! Aggh!
Long John Silver : Heh heh heh. We got you now Hawkins! The captain can't maroon us on the island with you on board.
Clueless Morgan : Good thinking boss.
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Mad Monty : Grr! Hah! Thought you could get away eh Hawkins!
[Long John Silver takes the blindfold off the player and the player can now see Long John Silver on the island]
Long John Silver : Now! That was a fine ride wasn't it mates? Hawkins, we'll be needing that compass of yours soon as we're done studying the map to treasure island.
[the fanfare horns play]
Long John Silver : I thought I told those guys to take care of the band! Okay mates! Let's see what stories this madman can tell us.
[the Pirates follow Long John Silver]
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Female Tourist Rat : Oh, this is a wonderful vacation honey. This hotel is simply charming.
Mr. Plagueman : Everything first trait for my little vermin face.
Female Tourist Rat : Already you're so romantic.
Mr. Plagueman : But the trip is just beginning. I have a surprise for you. Hee hee.
Female Tourist Rat : Oh.
