East Is East (1999)

Madhav Sharma: Mr. Shah

Quotes 

• [Saleem accidentally drops a fake vagina on Mrs. Shah's lap] 

  Mrs. Shah : This is an insult to me and my family! I will never allow my daughters to marry into this junglee family of half-breeds!

  Ella Khan : Well, they may be half-bred, but at least they're not friggin' inbred like them two monstrosities.

  George Khan : Ella!

  Ella Khan : Never mind "Ella". Who the frig do you think you are? You come in here, telling me that my house isn't good enough for your daughters? Well, your daughters aren't good enough for my sons, or my house, and if I hear another word against my family, I will stick that fanny over your bastard head!

  [Mrs. Shah leaves without a word] 

  Mr. Shah : [to George]  Your wife's a disgrace.

  Ella Khan : Oh, go on, piss off! Go on, sling your bleedin' hook! Go on, piss off! Piss off out of my house! And take Laurel and Hardy with ya!

  [a lecherous Dalmatian leaps onto Mrs. Shah] 

• Earnest Moorhouse : Salam Alekom.

  Mr. Shah : Eh? Bugger off, bugger off.