That '70s Show (1998–2006)
Tommy Chong: Leo, Leo Chingkwake
Photos
Quotes
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Leo : [to Kitty in church] I love it here. You can sing as loud as you want. That dude wails away on the organ. That dude up there tells stories. It's almost a religious experience!
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Leo : Hey man, you missed your shift at the Photo Hut. You better have a damn good excuse.
Steven Hyde : I got busted.
Leo : Damn. That's a good excuse.
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Leo : I saw a UFO once, man. It was just hanging there in the sky. Then it sent me a message, in big bright yellow letters. I told me I was gonna have a good year.
Steven Hyde : Leo, was this UFO at a football game?
Leo : Yeah, man! And the weird thing was, I was the only one freaking out about it!
[Hyde, Fez, and Kelso start to laugh]
Leo : Wait a minute. Good year? It was a terrible year, man!
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[Leo just fired Fez from the PhotoHut]
Fez : But how am I supposed to pay for my shoes?
Leo : Just do what I do, man. Take money from the register when the boss isn't looking.
Steven Hyde : Leo... Once again... You are the boss.
Leo : And, I'm not looking.
[Hyde gives Fez the money]
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Steven Hyde : I got busted for possession.
Leo : Join the club.
Steven Hyde : Yeah, thanks.
Leo : No, I mean join the club, man. We meet every Thursday. We're trying to raise money for a field trip to Amsterdam.
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Leo : [to Kitty] Hey, Mrs. Eric's mom.
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Leo : Ok, guys. I don't have any beer. I hate alcohol, and I won't have it in my house. So, we're gonna have to drink sake instead.
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Leo : Hi, Red. Would you give these to Kitty, please?
[hands Red flowers]
Leo : Oh, and tell her I love her. Thanks.
[leaves]
Red Forman : Oh, Kitty. These are for you. Looks like you got a date with a stoner.
[Red and Kitty laugh]
Kitty Forman : [takes flowers and reads attached note] "Roses are red, violets are blue. Milk, eggs, coffee."
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Steven Hyde : Yeah, I never thought I'd be a working man, man. But man, here I am, working for the man. You know what man, I like it man.
Leo : Hey, thanks man.
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Red Forman : Kitty, I think we should rethink our 'Don't throw Leo out on his ass policy.'
Kitty Forman : No, no. Leo stuck around because he cares about Steven.
Leo : ...and plus I can't find my shoes, man.
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Steven Hyde : [When Bob and Midge renew their wedding vows, Leo is supposed to be the photographer] Hey Leo man, you all set?
Leo : Totally, man, I got everything.
Steven Hyde : Great. Where's the camera?
Leo : I got everything but the camera... or the film... or the flashcubes. Hee, I got nothin' man.
Steven Hyde : Leo man, the photohut is loaded with that stuff.
Leo : I know, it's ironic, isn't it?
Steven Hyde : And yet not surprising.
[Hyde hands Leo a camera]
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Steven Hyde : Eighteen sucks, man, no more free rides. I mean, if there's a war, I could get drafted.
Leo : If there's a war, I'll see you in Canada.
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Leo : In real life, my kids split on me.
Steven Hyde : Really? My parents split on me.
Leo : Oh wow. Now we found each other. Hey, do you wanna be my father?
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Leo : [Leo and Hyde playing Battleships] B3!
Steven Hyde : Hit! Damn, you sank my battleship!
Leo : You know a well-maintained fleet is the backbone of any military structure, and with your floating arsenal depleted, your troops are likely to suffer some serious collateral damage.
Steven Hyde : [confused] Huh...
Leo : Hey, you know what, man? I think I might have been in the Navy!
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Leo : You can't go home, man. This pageant's your chance to spread some Christmas spirit. And that's contagious like VD.
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Leo : You know, you guys can hassle your skinny friend Eric, but when it comes down to a fundamental moral core he's the only one of you that's got one. So congratulations, you've ruined Christmas.
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Leo : I met God one time on a bus. He told me the meaning of life and gave me a pretzel.
Steven Hyde : So, what's the meaning of life?
Leo : ...I don't remember... but it was a pretty good pretzel.
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Steven Hyde : What is she doing here?
Leo : I think she's hitting on me, man.
Jackie Burkhardt : What are you talking about?
Leo : What are you talking about?
Jackie Burkhardt : What are you talking about?
Leo : What are *you* talking about?
Steven Hyde : Whatever.
[leaves]
Jackie Burkhardt : Oh, great. Steven!
[runs after Hyde]
Leo : What was she talking about?