Joysticks (1983) User Reviews

King Vidiot!

[BandSAboutMovies · 5/10 · 7 April 2019]

Jefferson Bailey (Scott McGinnis, Star Trek III: The Search for Spock) owns the hottest of all businesses in 1983: a video arcade. It's driving local business tycoon Joseph Rutter (Joe Don Baker, a man whose name I screamed into the ear of a sleeping girlfriend once, which is a long story I should really get to sometime) nuts, so he gets his two nephews and plans on shutting down the arcade. Mean! Unfair! No!

Bailey's too smart for Rutter and has two pals named Eugene Grobit (Leif Green, Davey Jaworski from the legendary bomb Grease 2) - who is molested by swimsuit girls before he even gets to the arcade - and McDorfus who are ready to deal with this affront.

This movie was such a big deal that Midway allowed the image of Pac-Man to be used as well as their new game Satan's Hollow and the as-yet-unreleased Super Pac-Man during the big showdown at the movie's end.

Corinne Bohrer, who is pretty much teen movie royalty thanks to appearances in films like Surf II, Zapped! and Stewardess School shows up, as does John Voldstad who played "my older brother Daryl" on TV's Newhart.

There are two real reasons to watch this movie. One is the theme song, which has beeps, boops and promises "video to the max" and "totally awesome video games!" This song will infiltrate your mind and not leave, trust me.

The other big reason is John Gries, who completely owns every scene he appears in as King Vidiot, a punk rock maniac surrounded by punker girls who only communicate in video game noises when they're not all riding around on miniature motorcycles. In a more perfect world, King Vidiot would be the star of the film. Every other person pales in comparison to his greatness. Gries would go on to steal the show in plenty of other films like Real Genius, Napoleon Dynamite, Fright Night, The Monster Squad and TerrorVision.

This all comes from Greydon Clark, who directed The Uninvited - a movie where George Kennedy does battle with a house cat - Without Warning and Wacko, as well as appearing in movies like Satan's Sadists.

The saddest part of this movie was that even though the good guys win, arcades would be dead by the mid-1980's. So really, the bad guys did win. King Vidiot? Well, no one knows what happened to him.

It had its moments...

[paul_haakonsen · 5/10 · 16 February 2019]

Right, well I wasn't overly expecting much from a movie such as this, but I must admit that I was actually pleasantly surprised that the movie turned out to be as entertaining as it was.

Sure, this was corny and very 1980s in terms of how the movie fared and went. But it was that exact corny level of nerdiness and glorious old fashioned video arcade and the games that added to the charm of the movie.

The storyline in "Joysticks" was basically as simple as they come. A local video arcade is in risk of having to close as a local powermonger has taken a personal quest to see it closed. The youth of the video arcade must come together in order to ensure the survival of their beloved video arcade.

As for the acting in the movie, well it was adequate. And let's just say that you will get exactly what to be expected for a movie such as this. However, having been watching movies since the early 1980s, then there is definitely a heap of familiar faces on the cast list. Including the names such as Jon Gries, Joe Don Baker, John Diehl, John Voldstad and Corinne Bohrer.

While "Joysticks" by no means is a classic, then there is definitely some nostalgic value to it, especially if you grew up with video arcades around. "Joysticks" is worth watching a single time, but hardly can sustain more than a single viewing.

Almost worth it for the decadence

[smccar77 · 3/10 · 9 March 2011]

"Joysticks," is a 1983 sex comedy that revisits the clichéd theme of a small youth led endeavor fighting against traditional older hierarchy. The movie is essentially a "Porkys (1982)," knock-off. The cheesy double entendre of the title is an immediate indicator of what this film will deliver. J is a playful low budget romp touching on themes of video games, puerile sex humor, and underdog status. The distinguishing facets of this film have to do with the assumptions that the writers and film makers make. Specifically, two premises directly influence how such a playful but poor film was produced.

The reliance on currently popular slang and vulgarity is typical of this sub-genre of film. The assumption that separates J from other teen comedies involves what is allowed for humor. The writers seem to hold that creating humorous situations is more important than what those same situations may imply. Such an assumption leads to surface level giggles that actually become uncomfortable cringes. For example, two protagonist characters break into the antagonist's home to cause some troubles. In the process, one of the protagonists inevitably falls into the bed of the sedated wife of the antagonist. The wife begins unconsciously groping the protagonist. At this point, the other protagonist character encourages his friend to have sex with the unconscious wife. The entire scene and exchange is meant to be humorous due to an uncomfortable situation and silly opportunistic prodding. The issue arises when the audience considers what would be the outcome if the character in bed actually listened to his friend. Engaging in sex with an unconscious stranger is rape. Of course, the film did not intend to create a situation of cognitive dissonance; yet, the adherence to a premise of creating humor regardless of consequence will inevitably lead to ethically strained situations.

The second major assumption and premise follows from the first. The direction of the film relies on the idea that low-brow humor and moderate nudity make for an enjoyable film. This is not completely fallacious. The problems arise when the audience is treated to a film that only relies on sophomoric humor and nudity. The storyline, production quality, film quality, acting, and character development are almost completely neglected. The result is a clumsy vehicle for fart jokes and youthful curves. J comes off as a film directed toward 13 year old males from 1983. Furthermore, J is almost exclusively enjoyed today by the niche audience of males who were 13 years old in 1982.

Overall, this is a poor film. That it is a poor film was probably recognized by all who took part in the project. The goal of creating a substandard knock-off was accomplished. In fact, the film does have a few quirky scenes that elicit the occasional chuckle. However, the completed end product is highly dated 80's trash. J is only worth pursuing if 80's American culture was formative in one's life.

On a personal note, the film did bring back fond memories for me. I am slightly younger than the target audience, yet this was the type of film that friends and I would try to get video store clerks to rent to us. As to recommendations, I will more than likely do my part in letting this film slip into utter obscurity. 3 of 10 stars.

They don't make comedies like they used to

[$TEVE McD · 24 January 2000]

Okay, so Joysticks is poorly made. But I for one find it rather nostalgic. This movie has something about it. Whether it's the fact that it takes place in the summer (which gives it a relaxed feeling) or that it displays a culture I never knew, I find this film totally addictive. I suppose it's just that it's different from most comedy's you see today (they definately don't make movies like they used to). Something like that could only happen on film in the 80's.

Anyway, if you were around when all this was really going on, I really reccommend you see this. Trust me, you'll love it!

Not sure that Joe Don Baking was still Walking Tall after this one

[movieman_kev · 5/10 · 22 June 2007]

Joe Don Baker (along way from his Walking Tall glory days, he'd bounce back though) plays Joseph Rutter a father who is mad that his daughter is always hanging out at the local video arcade. He crusades to shut it down, but the management and the other local arcaders have something to say about that. Cue 'hijinks and misadventures' and gaming contests. This movie can and will trick you into thinking it's going to be a fun, if totally guilty pleasure, film at the beginning. The opening theme song is amazingly memorable in that '80's kitchy kind of way that you can't help but smile. The first, I don't know, maybe 10 minutes seem to reinforce that you'll be in for a forgotten classic of teen sex movies of yesterday. But then it goes wrong, horribly wrong. The jokes turn stale, everyone involved grows slightly more stupid (not that they were anywhere close to MENSA members before, but you know what I mean) And the movie just loses pretty much everything it may have had going for it, ceasing to be fun or even entertaining. I really wonder if there will ever be a good film centered around video games (in all likelihood not, but one can dream)

My Grade: D

Eye Candy:Kym Malin & Kim Michel get topless; Erin Halligan shows all

gag me with a ball -top

[stueyis · 1/10 · 12 January 2005]

Of all the juvenile attempts at a movie this has to be the worst. they tried so hard to be porky's with video games that it was funny--makes an excellent gag gift for the guy who loves video games though--they will sit through the entire thing just to get glimpses of classic games. If arcades were really like this in 1983, its no wonder the bottom fell out of the industry... The scene with the punks acting out a pacman game had me cringing in embarrassment for the actors. If it wasn't for Joe Don Baker and his illustrious career of movies (as witnessed on MST3k) this movie would be a total loss. But by all means find a copy of this movie somewhere and subject yourself to the torture--you know you've done something wrong and deserved to be punished at some point--now is the time to make ammends!

Game over....

[Mister-6 · 1/10 · 13 August 1999]

Funny how things change decade to decade. Pac Man was once thought to be the pinnacle of video games. The punk look was once very popular. And "Joysticks" was once thought topical humor. Sometimes, once is too much.

"Joysticks", at times, can be considered too much of many things: a waste of time, for one. As well as too many horny kids, outdated video games, blustering adults, flatulence jokes, kids in punk makeup, Joe Don Baker and, naturally, big hair. Lots of that in the '80s, too.

Nothing much more than a nostalgia trip. And a bad trip, to boot.

One star. Save your money for more important things than "Joysticks". Like, say, a new Nintendo set?

It's got a world of problems

[bensonmum2 · 3/10 · 13 November 2017]

A powerful businessman starts a crusade aimed at shutting down the local video arcade. He's concerned about the effects the arcade is having on his daughter. The arcade's Manager, a nerdy employee, and a slovenly obese gamer will do battle to save their arcade.

I remember seeing Joysticks in the 80s and "enjoying" it. I use quotes because I'm not sure I ever found it all that great, just a decent enough time killer. Re-watching last night, the movie doesn't hold up for me. I know that based on a lot of the schlock I watch, you might think a movie like Joysticks would be right up my alley. Unfortunately, it's got a world of problems that keep me from finding much in the way of entertainment. Chief among my issues with the movie is it's actually pretty boring. For a sub-90 minute film, this thing seems to go on and on. The drawn out video game contests, the community hearing scenes, and all the lame attempts at humor that completely miss their mark really put a drag on things. And I found the scene where the nerd and the fat guy end up in the lady's bedroom troubling and disturbing to watch. There's nothing funny at all about the idea of raping a semi-conscious woman. You might have been able to get by with this kind of thing in the more innocent 80s, but by today's standards, it doesn't fly.

I generally enjoy Joe Don Baker, but not so much here. It's too obvious he's only in it of the paycheck. Instead, the lone highlight of the film for me is Jim Greenleaf as Dorfus. His fat dude shtick is occasionally laugh-out-loud funny.

Frustratingly unfunny

[Mr-Fusion · 4/10 · 8 January 2015]

Video games and topless girls. On paper, that's a blue medal idea, especially in the early '80s. But as teen sex comedies go, JOYSTICKS is as cheap as they come. There's not really a plot here so much as a series of raunchy scenes mixed in with goofball hijinks; think ANIMAL HOUSE with coin-op (right down to a low-rent Belushi). But the laughs are nowhere to be found. I tried to put myself back in a teenager mindset, but no chuckles. Make no mistake, there's no high-and-mighty here; if it were just 70 minutes of jiggly ladies playing Pac-Man, this rating would be a lot higher (and I'm all for seeing an arcade being used as a setting). But there's way too much time devoted to flat actors and lame material.

4/10

Entertaining In A Stupid Kind Of Way

[ObscureCinema101 · 7/10 · 4 June 2012]

I love eighties movies of all kinds, yet I have been neglecting the great eighties sex comedy for a while. I decided to finally catch up on some of them, and I figured JOYSTICKS wasn't a bad place to start.

The local video arcade is the greatest hot spot in town for the teens, but it's not too popular with the richest man in town. Can the manager's grandson (who runs the place, since his grandfather is out of town), his nerdy co-worker, and the arcade's gaming champion stop him from shutting it down for good?

Even if it's not the greatest, JOYSTICKS still manages to entertain despite itself. It's your stereotypical eighties comedy, with lots of sex jokes, boobs, and all the caricatures you'd expect to find (the fat guy, the nerd, the suave guy, the punk, etc.). This kind of familiarity gives JOYSTICKS a very comfortable feeling, like homemade cooking.

Fans of eighties nostalgia will have a lot to love as well, with a classic soundtrack filled with cheesy tunes (including a title song), as well as all (or at least most of) the arcade games you can remember. The film does have its funny parts, and they're funny in the "that's-so-stupid" kind of way.

However, for every funny part, there are at least two jokes that fall flat on their face. This leads to some groan-worthy moments where you wonder why they would even put a joke like that in the film. For one, there's the rich guy's daughter, who they try to make funny by making her voice squeaky and making every third word she says, "Like." There are also the bumbling nephews who go into the arcade incognito with one of them dressed in drag.

JOYSTICKS really isn't that great, but it provides for a fun night of late twentieth century nostalgia. I'm being really generous by awarding it a 7/10, but no one can deny how fun it is.

There are obviously better eighties comedies out there, but this one will still entertain in a C.H.U.D. II: BUD THE C.H.U.D. kind of way.

Dull and disgusting in equal measure

[Groverdox · 2/10 · 11 February 2016]

In the '80s, the "fat guy who is always eating" was a staple of low-end comedies like Greydon Clark's "Joysticks". I can only assume that we are supposed to laugh when we see him: "Look, it's a fat guy! And he's eatin! Har-har! No wonder he's fat!" I guess you have to hand it to the producers of "Joysticks" for adding the additional comedic twist of making their version of this character absolutely repulsive. His hair is so greasy it appears wet, his shirt, stretched over his massive gut, is as filthy as a dishrag. He eats cookies covered with tomato sauce.

I could not stand to look at this character, and he is in almost every scene.

Did I mention this is supposed to be a comedy?

The plot of this "comedy" goes like this: a pretty boy runs a video arcade. An evil businessman played by Joe Don Baker, known for classics like "Charley Varrick" and "Walking Tall", wants to shut him down for reasons the movie seems to have forgotten to provide. There is also a group of multi-coloured '80s punks, the Vidiots, that the pretty boy wants to kick out: thus the stage is set for not one but two video game tournaments, in which the players use massive joysticks, the knobs so large the players' hands rest upon them like they are crystal balls.

There is, of course, also a "nerd" "character", such a stalwart of these movies that there is nothing to say about him except for his being in the movie.

This movie really taxed me. There was no tension whatever to be had in watching people play Pac Man in 1983, and there surely isn't now. If there were, the filmmaker certainly has no idea how to show it, so those sequences are merely boring and pointless. The rest of the movie disgusted me more than anything else. There's a little nudity, of course, and the movie also supplies perhaps the most repulsive and unconvincing transvestite I have ever seen. The evil businessman has two moronic henchmen - don't they all - and in a movie this bad, someone has to dress up in drag, so it may as well be them.

I was really glad when it was over, and hopefully I'll forget about it as soon as possible.

Thank You!

[agomez1957 · 10/10 · 10 January 2007]

Thank you all for your support of this wonderfully perverse piece of classic entertainment! When Mickey Epps and I wrote the original screenplay we never thought it would turn into a piece of movie memorabilia. Sex comedies in the 80's will never return (that could be good or bad), but nonetheless, playing video games topless or in your underwear is now done in the privacy of the home and no longer in video arcades. So, worry not, you naysayers of this pulchritudinous adventure in film-making, you will not see a sequel to this movie. But because of it, I'm sure you've created a number of memorable moments in your own personal histories at various drive-ins and the back rows of the movie theaters! Long live teen sex comedies... long live perverted, out-of-work, over-aged, have nothing better to do writers... like myself!!!!!

Classic Cult 80's

[dvs_danny · 6/10 · 20 February 2006]

I purchased this movie on VHS on a sellout day at a video shop that was selling old movies... i think i payed $2. very original content, in the same line as under the mountain (director Peter Jackson) or brain dead... if you like this sort of thing then you will like this movie. yeah its about a bunch of kids who love their arcade, and some old idiots get their nephews to try to close down the video parlor. it comes down to a head to head challenge on an arcade game to decide if the video parlor will stay or be shut down... very funny looking at the style of cloths they wore, and typical of that era their are the punks and the squares

Teen sex comedy with an arcade setting

[Leofwine_draca · 4/10 · 13 September 2018]

JOYSTICKS is an amusingly cheesy teen sex comedy from cult director Greydon Clark. The setting is a videogame arcade, where various cool and geeky characters hang out and just try to have fun while punk rivals and some adult bigwigs try to shut them down. It's a rather mindless affair that nonetheless captures a little bit of the madness of ANIMAL HOUSE, and there's an absolute ton of nudity from endless blonde actresses for those who enjoy that sort of thing. Joe Don Baker plays the antagonist of the hour and is quite fun, although not as much fun as the '80s trappings (check out those outfits!) and, for nostalgia lovers like myself, the glimpses of the big hit games of the era, Pacman in particular.

Topless girl playing Pac-Man. 'nuff said?

[EyeAskance · 8 April 2004]

The dubious honors given this film are well supported. This is, without question, among the most moronic comedies ever made. Quite interesting as a time capsule of the early 1980s, however, and a real gas for anyone who was a youngster at that time. The plot concerns a popular video arcade in danger of being closed down by nogoodnik Joe Don Baker. Who cares about that, though...

...you rented this to see boobs.

Oh, yes you did!

Singular boobs. Pairs of boobs. Clusters, caboodles, and constellations of boobs. Yes...JOYSTICKS is a veritable wall of boob, and while you're bouncing in Boobtown, you can also enjoy some of the most sophomoric humor ever offered in the long, rich history of teen sex comedies. As an extra bonus, you get a Valley Girl, and a gang of comically overaccessorized "punkers", the likes of which were commonplace as guest villains on network crime shows throughout the 80s(tri-color frightwigs, bondage gear, eyeliner to the ankles, heavy chains...yeah, you remember...).

Shamefully fun trash, if you don't mind hitting the kill-switch on your brain for 90 minutes. Wakka Wakka Wakka.

4/10.

Worst movie ever.

[fivelongs · 1/10 · 17 May 2017]

I was only 18 when this movie came out and it remains the only movie I've ever walked out of, it was seriously that bad. I enjoyed the premise of the movie, arcade, young women, etc, but it was just so ridiculous I've never forgotten how bad it was, as I still say to this day that it was bar none, the worst movie ever.

Hit and miss T & A comedy that will be a treat for retro video gamers

[mwilson1976 · 4/10 · 11 April 2019]

When a businessman (Joe Don Baker) threatens to close down their beloved video arcade, a group of teens to fight for their rights in this dumb T&A comedy also known as Video Madness. Jefferson Bailey (S. McGinnis) is in charge of his Grandfather's video arcade and plays strip video gaming with the many "attractive" young women that frequent the place. Jon Gries Is King Vidiot, a video game obsessed punk who dresses like Sid Vicious and travels with a pack of female groupies. It features loads of great retro arcade games including Battle Zone and Defender, and Midway Games allowed the image of Pac-Man to be used in the film. They also allowed the filmmakers to showcase Satan's Hollow and the unreleased Super Pac-Man during the film's climactic video game showdown.

Worst Film of the 1980's

[Ddey65 · 1/10 · 4 January 1999]

Forget about movies like "Heaven's Gate," "Ishtar," and "Howard the Duck,"(which I think was a better comic book). THIS was the worst film of the 1980's. When I saw it the first time, I didn't think it was that bad. But now, I'd see the three I just mentioned, before I ever see this one again. And I had such high hopes for it, too.

Unwatchable unfunny trash. Insulting.

[chaseholden · 1/10 · 17 February 2019]

This is unwatchable trash that should never have breen made. It was most likely written by a 9 year old with a personality disorder. There are endless possibilities for what this movie could have been centering around an 80s video game arcade, yet any potential or possibility was squandered and ruined.

I watched hoping that there was something redeeming coming but nothing ever did...just the regret of wasting 90min of your precious life.

A bad movie, but a product of the time

[keneda-05512 · 4/10 · 13 January 2019]

This movie is an interesting one to review. That being said let's get into it. Joysticks is a movie that is bad, but you can have fun with it. If you want a bad and very 80s movie then go ahead. My first problem is how much nudity is in this film for no reason. Don't get me wrong I like nudity but if it's not to much or has a reason. Or even nudity for actual jokes to be funny. Joysticks just has it for one little plot point and then the rest has no point. The story is basic and generic and the jokes are bland. That's pretty much what joysticks is to be honest. Also one of the main problems is the lighting. The lighting is absolutely terrible, and the arcade machine screens make the lighting even worse. So my overall thoughts are watch it if you want a very 80s sex comedy.

Defines A Generation...

[Falconeer · 7/10 · 21 June 2020]

... like no other movie of it's time, this low budget exploitation GEM literally embodies the 1980s like no other. "Joysticks," capturing the time of video arcades and gaming, when it was still something new and mind blowing. Those who are able to leave their pretentions at the door can be transported back to a world without the tiresome worries of adult responsibility, that short lived time when getting laid and hanging with our friends while looking like rock stars at all times was our only concern . The plot is simple : a middle-aged jackass thinks his Valley girl daughter is wasting her life hanging at the local video arcade, so he embarks on a campaign to close the place down. Here ensues a classic "Generation War" as the local kids, the "Vidiots" shut the old guy down at every turn. "Joysticks" is loaded with color, music, quck cuts, T&A, and best of all... comedy that is so completely wacky that it's actually funny. If you were born in the 70s and were lucky enough to have that coveted cable TV box in your home, chances are that THIS movie is locked into your psyche for all time. Yeah, they used to show "Joysticks" on the Showtime channel, which was racier than the more family friendly HBO, and they would only air it after 10pm because of all that T&A.. I guess they had the idea that the kids would be in their beds that late at night, but that was a misjudgement. The parents were asleep, oblivious to all the fun the kids were having with movies like this. Watching this today is certainly an experience, a real nostalgia overload. There were countless teen oriented movies like this, but "Joysticks" with its otherworldly set design and shameless juvenile humor and objectification of women, stands out as the King of them all. Show this one to your teenaged kids, and make them jealous that they were born too late.

Cinema at its best

[Scoopy · 1/10 · 11 July 2016]

I feel guilty of litotes in stating that this is merely the best film in the history of cinema, because it is much more than that. It is probably the greatest artistic achievement in any field, and arguably the crowning achievement of mankind in our stay on this big blue marble. Many people believe that all of existence and all of evolution took place just so all the DNA tumblers could turn, making our brains large and sophisticated enough that Joysticks could be created. It pains me that Robert Duvall won the Oscar for Tender Mercies when Joe Don Baker's poignant performance in Joysticks failed to score even a nomination, and that the great Jon Gries (later to become the legendary Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite) would receive no recognition for having portrayed the full gamut of human emotions so evocatively in his sensitive turn as King Vidiot.

Totally Awesom Video Games!!!!

[mark-4522 · 10/10 · 9 June 2014]

A&E should have a "Making of Joysticks" biography. I'm sure it would be hilarious. I can picture it now. The producers say: "Porkies is a big hit and videogames are making millions a year. Can you write a script that incorporates all of that to make money?" So the writers throw everything in but the kitchen sink: Valley girls, punk rockers, conservative villains looking to stop the fun, a pretty surfer hero, a nerd named Eugene, a fat video game jock, hottubs in vans, screenshots of classic video games. It's an 80's hottub time machine.

What makes this film even more fun is the magic it produces when some viewers either get it, and laugh hilariously, or don't (such as my wife) and say "This is so stupid" and walk off in disgust. It's like Beavis and Butthead. Some get it, and some don't. That's the genius of it. This film will be watched by historians a hundred years from now when analyzing the destruction of American culture or perhaps what made it great. Teens now are worried about starving to death the day they hit the job market or think their "smartphones" make them smart. No. We had it better back then. A lot better.

Return to those goofy days at the video arcade.

[emm · 7/10 · 13 October 1998]

As a matter of fact, go back to when comedy movies were really meant to be goofy, such as "Joysticks"! I feel this may be an overlooked rarity in the not-so-distant future, as it shows why there hasn't been films made in years that combine twisted humor with videogames as a cultural standpoint. Like other raunchy films in the '80s, this one mimics "Porky's". The acting is strange, but acceptable. This is one of those movies containing sick, ballistic weirdness that tends to grow on you. Another film that has this kind of quality is "Wacko". Both are genuine Greydon Clark comedy masterpieces not to be missed. It's too bad these movies have been way past their prime, though.

"I got to have a quarter!"

[utgard14 · 5/10 · 13 September 2015]

Joe Don Baker is out to shut down the video arcade because his Valley girl daughter won't stop hanging out there. It's an '80s teen comedy so you pretty much know what the ceiling is on this. It's lowbrow and childish but harmless and even funny in places. The Dorfus character is the 'funny gross fat guy' that all post-Animal House comedies seemed to have. Jon Gries is in this in an embarrassing early role as King Vidiot. The old school video game stuff is cool and, of course, the female nudity is nice. Some great boobs on display here, for those interested. The strip video scene is a highlight. It's not the best '80s teen sex comedy but it's enjoyable enough. Personally I think it's impossible to completely dislike anything with Corinne Bohrer in it.