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Single, and very likely to stay that way, regardless of social climate and fashion trends.
I consider myself to me a moderate right-winger. Others tend to disagree. I've been accused of being a fascist(mostly by communists and their sympathizers), because I support the war on terror, include nations that sponsor(ed) terrorism and had nothing to do with 9/11(like Iraq), and justify America's past resistance to communist wars. On the same note, I've also been accused by some on the far-right of being a left-wing dupe because I've justified Clinton's sporadic attacks on Serbia's genocidal war against non-Serbs in the Balkans, and have equated Zimbabwe's government as being as racist as the Rhodesians they replaced in 1980. I even took a political survey fairly recently that suggested that I was a moderate left-winger.
I'm for a United Ireland, a United Timor, and a United Korea, but not on North Korea's terms. In fact, since North Korea was created by the USSR for the sole purpose of expanding communism into the rest of the far east, I refuse to recognize their right to exist as a nation.
Israel, on the other hand does have the right to exist as a nation. Palestine can exist too, as long as they're not out to destroy Israel. All these allegations of "Israeli Apartheid," "genocide against Palestinians," "stealing land," and what not are nothing but Arab & Muslim extremist propaganda, further supported by the far-left and the far-right. Peace betweeen Jews & Arabs in the Middle East could've existed if it were not for the Muslim Brotherhood, and their supporters in the Middle East, as well as the Third Reich, before & during World War 2, and the Communist Bloc during much of the cold war.
To me 9/11 conspiracy freaks(I've become tired of referring to them as conspiracy theorists, and refuse to refer to them as their self-proclamed labels like "truth movement" or "critical thinkers") can be and often are as despicable as the jihadists who attacked us on September 11, 2001, whether they're from the far-left, far-right, or self-proclamied independents. In fact I say the whole so-called "9/11 truth movement" is nothing but a cult.
Another view on the far east can be described this way: One China; One Taiwan; One Tibet.
On non-foreign affairs, I'm pro-road, but not anti-mass transit.
Here's a site debunking the myth held by those who believe George Washington had some "special wisdom" about the Jews:
Not my links, but I like them:
Some song parodies I like:
This is funny too:
Now, since this is a movie site, I think I'll point out that my interest in this site came from a failed attempt to become part of the entertainment industry in the past(as a cartoonist in particular), and a general knowledge of trivia and other details involving movies & television. I joined IMDb as a member sometime in the late-1990's, despite the fact that IMDb has my registration date listed as being on February 24, 2000.
Movies & TV Shows I like & hate:
Just read my User Comments for now, at the link below.
More 2 Come.
Like many of my lists this is incomplete, however I won't add people that I don't think look alike. So if you're going to badger me to add Amy Adams & Isla Fisher, or Victoria Justice & Nina Dobrev, don't waste your time.
See also The Disney Past of Nickelodeon Stars: http://www.imdb.com/list/v9G7NXCraHg/
See also The Nickelodeon Past of Disney Stars: http://www.imdb.com/list/edit?list_id=AqylSkCrNWc
NOTE: This is not a trashing of the skills of any actors and actresses.
Less racist than you might expect
You would think that after the cinematic disaster of John Wayne playing Genghis Khan in "The Conquerer," that Hollywood wouldn't stoop so low as to have a white person playing somebody from the far east. Evidently, they didn't realize that the things that make minstrel shows offensive to Afro-Ameicans applied to the Chinese, Indians, and Native Americans as well. Nevertheless we see Marlo Thomas playing a Chinese mail-order bride in an 1964 episode of "Bonanza." I suppose in an atmosphere where another white guy like Yul Brenner can get away with playing the King of Siam without any controversy, nobody seems to give a crap.
A new railroad spur is being completed through the Ponderosa, and everybody seems to be celebrating, including the Chinese-American laborers who helped build the line. It's not exactly the Golden Spike between the Central Pacific and Union Pacific, but it's still an accomplishment. Back on the homestead, Hoss has ordered a bunch of fireworks from a trading company in San Francisco who got them from Canton, China to celebrate the occasion, but instead sent him a whole different type of firework; specifically in the form of an extremely reluctant mail-order bride named Tai Li. Tai Li was a student at a school for girls lead by a radical woman Miss Lau Chu who opposed traditional Chinese rule until the Qing Dynasty captured her and executed her. Now she's bringing political upheaval to Asian Laborers who may or may not be exploited by the white man, and aren't truly being exploited by the Cartwrights. Tai Li's politics seemed to be a mix of Feminism, Marxism, and improved labor relations.
Her first task is to convince Hop Sing not to serve the Cartwrights. Next, she talks the Chinese Labroers into striking against the railroad. Later she rigs a music box to blow black smoke in Hoss's face and he tosses her in a watering trough for horses, something which in real life gave her lingering back problems as Thomas mentioned in her 2010 Autobiography "Growing Up Laughing." Once Na Shan (Bensong Fong) the man who was supposed to buy her finds out Hoss got Tai Li, he comes to claim her only to be put off by her radical views which he blames on Hoss and accuses him of "bewitching" her. After she finds out Na Shan is a railroad foreman, she goes to turn them against him in another strike. The Tong finally decides to kidnap Hoss and Na Shan challenges him to a what looks more like a traditional Bushido-type duel(Yes, I know that's not Chinese, but this is old television).
Even Thomas herself realized there was no way in hell the make-up department could make her look Asian in any way, shape or form. Plus she was still pretty as a fake Chinese Girl. Ironically, since the Thomas family is half-Lebanese, Marlo is more Asian than John Wayne. Still it's easy to see why Thomas chose this role in the days before she ended up playing Ann Marie on "That Girl." The Old West was a place where Chinese and other Asian-Americans were exploited on levels that exceeded those of slavery. And even if they never happened on the fictional Ponderosa, Tai Li was going to be a woman who was going to make damn sure that stopped.
Austin & Ally: Costumes & Courage (2012)
Laura Marano does it again!
In my review of the series Austin & Ally, I mentioned that the executives at Disney gave this show a second season because they wanted to give Laura Marano the opportunity to sing. While we still have yet to hear the rest of "You Don't See Me," from "Deejays & Demos," I'm becoming more convinced that this was the reason. You could try to tell me otherwise, and I welcome the effort, but for now I'm sticking to this notion.
Austin's new record company wants to invite Team Austin to perform at a Halloween Party thrown at some decrepit mansion, which is rumored to be haunted. He has also invited a bunch of other stars to the party who are far bigger than Austin, but since this is Halloween, everybody has to be in costume, and Ally has to write a new song. She also has to decide on a costume, which was originally intended to be Florence Nightingale, but after failing to pick up a boy who might be right for her, decided on an apparent anime super-heroine named "Galexis Nova." Jimmy star meets up with Ally and reveals that Taylor Swift loved Ally's song so much she wants to do a duet with Austin, but Austin incorrectly assumes she just turned it over to her completely, which pisses him off and makes him send them both an angry text message. Once Ally clears up the situation, they have to find away to keep Jimmy from reading the message. In the process of doing so, the team finds that Taylor Swift, who is played by an uncredited extra has the same costume as Ally, Trish tries to exploit Dez's efforts to hunt for ghosts at the mansion, and in the process turns Taylor into a near casualty of her prank. That's when Ally decides she's not only going to masquerade as the fictional super-heroine, but as Swift herself.
It really should be obvious to Taylor Swift fans, or anybody who can check on IMDb, that the girl posing as Miss Swift is much shorter, but that doesn't mean she's not amazing. It's hard to believe this is the same girl who in real life is still being slammed for her own song "Words" to this day. It should also be noted that this episode marks the beginning of the slow erosion of Ally's stage fright, which is kind of a mixed blessing. Marano herself said in a recent interview that she wishes Ally could have the courage to experience the joys of performing, and listening to the duet between her and Lynch, it's hard not to blame her for this sentiment. On the other hand, losing the stage fright may also lead to the erosion of the premise of the series, and thus to the decline of the series itself. Nevertheless, it's the show-stopping duet between Ross and Laura that makes the episode more than just a treat.
Austin & Ally (2011)
More than just a standard Disney sitcom that clings to music orientation
In my reviews of "Hannah Montana" and "Big Time Rush," I mentioned that notion that the programming executives of both the Disney Channel and their competitors at Nickelodeon were the only reason teen pop musicians still have a market. The rise of Justin Bieber from YouTube should make me eat those words, but I can't because Disney's still relying on this formula.
Austin Moon(Ross Lynch) is an extroverted fun-loving wanna-be teen pop musician, sort of a combination of Bieber and either David or Shawn Cassidy (I'm really showing my age with those references, aren't I?). His favorite hangout is a music store in the "Mall of Miami," called Sonic Boom run by a man named Lester Dawson(Andy Milder) and managed by his daughter Ally(Laura Marano), a brilliant but excessively shy songwriter with a severe case of stage fright. One day, Ally finds that Austin has become an overnight sensation by making a music video of one of the songs she wrote and posting it on the internet, and she wants his head on a platter. He realizes how good she is, and talks her into being his main songwriter, and the series takes off from there. Do they fall in love? Not necessarily, or knowing the track record with Disney shows, at least not yet. Be that as it may a lot of fans want it to happen, and are looking for signs of romance between the two of them everywhere. But the third episode seems to have established that their relationship is completely platonic. There doesn't even seem to be a hint of jealousy when the two of them seek other girlfriends and boyfriends, as you found with Kim Possible & Ron Stoppable.
Ally's best friend is Trish(Raini Rodriguez) a short Latino girl who can't hold down a job and is proud of it, yet somehow becomes Austin's manager. Austin's best friend is Dez(Calum Worthy), an aspiring film maker, who shoots Austin's music videos, including the one that made him famous.
Two songs make this show worthwhile. The first is "A Billion Hits," from the second episode "Kangaroos & Chaos," which has a killer hook and was written in response to some fear that Austin would quickly become a has-been who is mistaken for a kid in a dog food commercial. The other is the ninth episode "Deejays & Demos," where Austin overhears Ally working on a few bars of song called "You Don't See Me," which she writes just for herself, and is just as impressed by it as I was. I don't care if the song was written by some of the staff, or by Marano herself, I want to hear more of it. Plus, I'm convinced that the song made the Disney executives give the green light for a second season, and they're keeping a full-length version from the rest of us which they will release whenever they see fit. There are episodes that make shows more worthwhile, and while for "Less Than Perfect," "Sonny With a Chance," and "Victorious," it was the fourth episodes, in this case it was the ninth.
Something about the two protagonists reminds me of a classic 80's sitcom, albeit without the romance; You know, the one at a bar in Boston where everybody knows your name. Add some romance between the songwriter and the pop-star, and subtract Ally's frequent failed efforts to act cool, and you've got a contemporary teen-aged Diane Chambers right here on this show. And though Austin Moon is hardly the womanizer that Sam Malone was, he still likes having fun, a fact that he repeats often. The network has found it's heir apparent of Hannah Montana, and it's here rather than either "Shake It Up!," or "A.N.T. Farm," not that either of those two shows are necessarily repulsive in any way.
Not as bad as you might think. Daniella Monet made it worth watching.
Just before the third "Jimmy-Timmy Power Hour" crossover TV-movie, Butch Hartman claimed he was running out of ideas for The Fairly Odd-Parents. Yet it seems that just when he thinks he can get out, either Nickelodeon keeps pulling him back in, or another idea for the cartoon that made him famous forms in his head. Either way, like a lot of other people, I expected this to be Nickelodeon's "Howard the Duck." Jennifer Stone already appeared in two bad remakes in disguise. We can only hope Daniella Monet doesn't start making the same mistakes.
Timmy Turner is now 23 years old, and refuses to grow up and make a life for himself in order to keep his fairy godparents, Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof, all of which are in CGI, and voiced by the same cast who provided their voices since the days when it was a hand-drawn "Oh Yeah, Cartoons" segment. His parents are anxious for him to move out, and his teacher Denzel Crocker is still convinced that the reason he's still in elementary school is because of his fairy godparents. Chester and AJ often appear on the sidelines watching Timmy's antics, and bragging about the benefits of being more than just a legal adult. Vicky now runs a day care center and treats kids with the same lack of TLC she did when she was a teenager. Because Timmy never fell in love, except with the noticeably absent Trixie Tang, he has never been in danger of losing the two and later three who have been saving his butt from the misery of childhood and adolescence since he was ten years old. But suddenly while watching a ceremony for the groundbreaking of a combined hotel/oil well(yeah, that'd bring in customers), along comes this gorgeous brunette who strolls over and tries to stop Hugh J. Magnate(Steven Weber), the man who wants to build it. That brunette turns out to be none other than Tootie, the geeky sister of Vicky who had a mad crush on him when they were little kids. The ugly ducking evolving into a beautiful swan routine has been done to death, but Daniella is such a turn-on as grown up Tootie, you won't care. Besides that she wasn't even ugly playing as the Tootie of Timmy's memories.
Needless to say, he makes wishes to help Tootie to stop them, and now his fairy godparents are scared because he's falling in love with her, and spend much of the movie trying to stop him. He knows this too, but he's not as concerned as they are, until they're about to kiss. Timmy's 23 and he's afraid to kiss this beauty? Hell, if I were 23, I'd not only kiss her, I'd wrap my arms around her, run my fingers through her hair, and do things to her that even Cartoon Network's Adult Swim time-slot wouldn't show! Meanwhile Mr. Crocker sets up a meeting with the tycoon who wanted to build that hotel, and reveals the existence of Timmy's Fairy Godparents. Anyone else would blow him off as the nut case he truly is and send him to the booby hatch, but the tycoon decides to team up with him to stop Timmy and Tootie. I'm going to say this, and I don't care if I get tons of hate mail in my IMDb box; David Lewis made an excellent Denzel Crocker. Daran Norris, who voiced both Cosmo and Timmy's dad was also an excellent choice to play as his dad in live-action.
Despite the fact that it has a scene that puts Tootie in peril, it's not as Wagnerian as made-for-TV movie versions of FOP, most notably "Abra-Catastrophe" and "Channel Chasers." Whatever else you may say about it, you have to give them some credit for staying true to the spirit of the cartoon, right down to the prop department. Live-action Dimmsdale is as loaded with 1950's and 1960's era cars and trucks as the original cartoon was, although it would've been nice to see a live-action version of Mr. & Mrs. Turner's mid-1960's Ford Country Squire station wagon. There's also a scene where Chester and AJ are given some supposedly hot girlfriends(twins, in fact), and turn to the camera and ask if we're jealous. Not of you two. Of Timmy? Definitely!
Teen Beach Movie (2013)
Just as corny as you'd think it was
When I first heard about this movie, the first half of Austin & Ally Season one was pretty much finished, and I thought Disney was just milking Ross Lynch's fame for another "High School Musical" sequel. Thank God my earlier perceptions turned out to be false. Instead, this DCOM spoofed early-1960's Beach Party flicks, the kinds of movies that came out before the majority of Disney Channel viewers were ever born, and that were on the verge of decline when I was born. So while I naturally was concerned that the intended audience may not get it and would only be interested in it because of Lynch, I still realized this was going to be as corny as all hell, and I was proved right. For the record, yes kids; these movies did have ridiculous cartoon villains like Les Camembert and Dr. Fusion and characters with corny names like "Giggles," and battles between surfers and biker gangs with ridiculous names like "The Rodents," who spoke in 1930's Lower East Side white gangster dialects, even though none of the gang members have ever been east of Arizona.
Brady (Lynch) and MacKenzie (Maia Mitchell) are a contemporary California surfing boyfriend and girlfriend who are having a fun summer and are anticipating the ultimate waves, even as she anticipates and dreads a potential prep school trip that may end their relationship. When Brady isn't surfing, one of the things he likes to do is watch an early-1960's beach party movie called "Wet Side Story," which is obviously "West Side Story" moved to the west coast. Brady and MacKenzie's grandfather(Barry Bostwick) love the movie in spite of the corniness of it and others like it, while Mac herself ridicules the whole thing. I love her general attitude towards it throughout most of the movie.
When Brady and Mac's grandpa notice a storm coming, Brady tries to rescue her, but they both wipe out and end up in his favorite movie. They catch the cast performing the opening theme "Surf Crazy," and Brady is more than eager to join in while Mac's REALLY not into it. After the theme, the surfers hang out at a local beach bar & grille called "Big Momma's" and that local biker gang I mentioned earlier barges in and wants to take it over. The leader of this gang is named Butchy (John DeLuca), and his way of telling the surfers how things are going to go down is done in the form of a song. Brady sees Butchy and his gang perform the song "Cruzin' for a Bruzin'" then jumps in and completely takes it over, and nobody questions it. Actually, I'd go so far as to say it's Ross himself taking over, because I almost could swear he broke character the same way Charlie Chaplin did at the end of "The Great Dictator." Again, the movie is a west-coast surfing version of "West Side Story," so it involves the head surfer (Garrett Clayton) and the sister of the leader of the pack (Grace Phipps) falling in love during a musical number. But while the two real life lovers are arguing about how to get out of the movie, they end up falling into the arms of the characters in the movie, and completely change the whole thing. Both now realize they're in deep doo-doo and have to change everything back to the way it was.
Later on, they find the evil villains working in an abandoned lighthouse. where a real estate tycoon (Steve Valentine), and a mad scientist (Kevin Chamberlin) are using a weather machine to screw up the beach so they can take it over and build a resort hotel. "And this thing never won an Oscar." Oh, Maia, you have the best lines. Of course, Brady and Mac spend much of the movie trying to get the two fictional star-crossed lovers back together with little success. Mac is invited to the Rodent girls slumber party, and as they're all dressing up for their boyfriends, she introduces them to a new concept; Asking the guy you like out yourself. Brady also tries to hang out with the surfers to talk Tanner into not letting the fact that Lela's a biker-girl keep him from going out with her. This sets up another musical number that's some have described as being reminiscent of "Grease" which is a little disturbing, but it still plays up how phony the whole scene is, especially during the bridge of the song. As for me, I'm more into girls who look like Mac... before they gave her the biker-girl makeover.
As if it doesn't get far-fetched enough for our heroine, she suddenly realizes the movie itself is forcing her to sing a song. "Can't Stop Singing" is one of the highlights of the movie reflecting how ridiculous the whole thing is. This is one of the points I think many detractors are missing. It's not meant to be "Citizen Kane," "To Kill a Mockingbird," or "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," and like the kinds of movies it's making fun of, none of them really were. While not without flaws of it's own, it's just a fun TV movie that happens to be a loving parody of a genre of movies that were around before cable TV existed. So don't fret. Just see it for what it is.
Geek Charming (2011)
Believe it or not, this DCOM reminds me of an episode of Daria.
I know it's hard for me to break away from the habit of associating the classic MTV cartoon with other movies and TV shows, and it seems like a stretch to associate it with a Disney Channel made-for-TV movie. But the fact remains that in the episode "Monster" Daria and Jane do to Quinn what Josh Rosen does to Dylan Schofield, and finds there's more to their respected subjects than meets the eye.
Matt Porkrop plays Josh Rosen, the head of a high school film club. The club's membership includes and is evidently limited to Jimmy Bellinger, The Troop's David Del Rio, and Kayce Rohl, who plays a girl with a crush on Josh. And of course, there's Modern Family's Sarah Hyland who plays Dylan Schofield, the high school queen bee who is determined to become "Blossom Queen," and will do whatever it takes to earn that title. This queen bee is no Regina George or Heather Duke, though. She's not even a Sandi Griffin or Quinn Morgendorffer. Yes, she's a diva, but she's hardly a total bitch. Early on, we learn that her quest to be blossom queen is an effort to forge a connection to her mother who died when she was a little kid, and was herself a blossom queen in the 1980's.
So where's the Daria connection? Well, Josh decides to enter a student film festival and the subject of his movie is Miss Schoefield, the rich popular girl who seems to get everything she wants in life, with the emphasis on "seems." During the making of the movie, her desire to maintain that stuck-up persona of hers slowly erodes, and her true intellectual colors begin to show. At the same time, the would-be blossom queen takes advantage of the head film-geek's deep-seated desire to be popular, and actually makes it work. Everybody sees that they're falling for each other, no matter how much they both try to deny it. His mother, her father, his friends, her friends, the girl he wants, her idiot jock trophy boyfriend, and quite possibly his teacher.
Unfortunately, there have been some fans of the book who complain about elements that were left out. I've heard the same complaints about movie adaptations of "How My Private, Personal Journal Became a Bestseller," "Holes," "Ella Enchanted," "Maniac Magee," and "The Power of One," among others. And I've never invalidated their grievances, but if their goal is to get people interested in the books these movies originated from, it could actually work for me. One also can't deny that the chemistry between real-life boyfriend and girlfriend Porkrop & Hyland works well on screen. And you know that since this is a DCOM, things will work out for the two main characters one way or another. So maybe it doesn't meet the standards of the book, but as a DCOM it's clearly above average.
Austin & Ally: Deejays & Demos (2012)
The episode that turned me into an Ally Dawson/Laura Marano fan.
Dammit! What is it with today's teen stars? Just when I think I can prove I'm all grown up and write them off as bubble-gum pop kiddie-fare, they go and do something that makes me realize they're not as lame as I thought. Jennette McCurdy started a side career as a Country & Western singer, and though I like her music, I tend to avoid C&W like the plague. Selena Gomez performed a live cover of The Backstreet Boys' "I Want It That Way," that sounded pretty good. Yet I'm not into the Backstreet Boys, or any other boy bands for that matter. Phineas & Ferb's Olivia Olson, who we all remember from "Love, Actually," made a decent cover of The Jonas Brothers' "Give Love a Try," on her YouTube channel, and I'm not a fan of the Jonas Brothers either. In the same vein, besides having fascinating supporting female cast members, the main cast of "Big Time Rush" have a known appreciation for some decent music.
And then we have less than a minute of one song for an episode of Austin & Ally performed by Laura Marano, and suddenly I'm craving more. More lyrics in the song, more singing from Miss Marano, more knowledge about who wrote it, and more appreciation for the series.
But enough of my rantings and ravings about the music and entertainment industry. This is about the episode itself. Austin gets an interview on a local non-existent radio station, and Dez makes Ally feel self-conscious about not being given credit for his songs. After the opening theme, we hear Ally finishing off a song called "You Don't See Me," and you can't help but think heaven sent us an angel. That's when he decides he's going to sneak a copy of Ally's song onto the show for his radio interview, and add a few elements of his own, like backing guitar and backup singers(where did he get those girls?). Anyway, when the DJ finally announces Austin's single "A Billion Hits" we end up hearing Ally's opus instead, and he's as blown away as Austin was. So much that he insists that she join Austin in another interview later on in the week! Uh-oh! The brilliant songwriter with chronic stage fright join Miami's teen-pop singing sensation? Good luck with that! After a couple of attempts by her friends to curtail her stage fright fail, Austin decides that because nobody knows what she looks like (or simply forgot from her disastrous appearance on "The Helen Show" from the first episode), Trish can pretend to be her. I'll admit the outcome of their efforts to trick the Miami-Dade Metro Area into thinking Trish is Ally is kind of embarrassing, but as Marlo Thomas once said, they call it situation comedy for a reason.
Not too much can be said about the fact that Miss Marano's character has actually been recognized that hasn't been said before. Sitcoms and other television shows far better than this one have been plagued with inconsistencies in early seasons that have tested audiences and programming directors. Yet it's still Ally's song that makes the episode stand out more than anything else, and it will be remembered long after Season two.
Revisionism you can sink your teeth into (Yes, I went there!).
Far too often people make up lies about America's political idols ranging from the founding fathers to President Obama. In many cases it's an attempt to undermine what we stand for, while in others it's wishful thinking. In this case it's a premise that's so fantastic and ridiculous, you can't help but enjoy it.
This version of "Honest Abe's" story begins when Abe Lincoln was a boy living a life as a child laborer with his parents for Jack Barts, a sadistic boss who tries to kidnap and whip a black friend of his and sell him as a slave. Rejecting his dad's advice to "look away," he attacks his boss, and the family is fired. That night he goes after his mother, and when he wakes up he sees her apparently dying of small pox (actually "milk poisoning," but we're not looking for historic accuracy here), but he knows that Barts is responsible for his death somehow. Years later as Abe enters adulthood for the first time, he vows revenge against his family's boss for the murder of his mother and gets drunk at a bar before killing him in order to give himself the courage to do so. Much to his surprise, his old boss can't be killed because he's one of the undead, specifically a vampire. But one man saves his life and nurses him back to health, then explains tells him what Barts really is. That man is Henry Sturgess, and Abe seeks his training to defeat the monster who killed his mother.
Sturgess warns him not to make any friends or seek the spotlight, something which fate has unfortunately made impossible. He also sends him to Springfield, Illinois where he takes a job as a shopkeeper run by Joshua Speed. During his time in Springfield, he slays a few vampires and meets the woman who would later become Mary Todd Lincoln, played by the obviously miscast Mary Elizabeth Winstead. Winstead is far too pretty to play Mrs. Lincoln. Hell, even Sally Field in her current state is too pretty to play Mrs. Lincoln. He also has a casual encounter with Stephen Douglas, the man he would later debate over the abolition of slavery. And once again, he is reunited with his old black childhood friend William Johnson, who is part of the underground railroad and fleeing bounty hunters who intend to sell him and the people he has been setting free.
Before killing the monster who made Abe's life a living hell, he reveals that Sturgess is a vampire too. Upon this discovery, Sturgess reveals that Adam, the man who made him the vampire he is killed his fiancé, and he's as determined to kill them as Abe, but can't do it because vampires can't kill their own.
As the country moves closer to Civil War, the vampires of the new world become more of a threat to the country, and to Lincoln himself. They kidnap Johnson, and Lincoln reveals his secret life to Speed so they can rescue him from the Adam's New Orleans plantation. Adam tries to make a deal with him to slay Sturgess instead, and naturally he rejects the deal as both rescued. According to this movie, Willie Lincoln died not from Typhoid, but from an attack by a vampire woman, and an associate of Adam at that. It's then that Mary discovers the truth about the her husband. Additionally, the north almost lost the Battle of Gettysburg because the Confederate Army had vampires as volunteers.
I don't think I'm going to reveal too much else, because real history is already known. But the way this movie, and the book on which it is based blends the supernatural into real history makes it quite the tale, especially in the way it integrates Abe's determination to wipe out slavery with vampires. It has been pointed out on many occasions that as Lincoln, Benjamin Walker looks a lot like Liam Neeson. But as Adam, Rufus Sewell is reminiscent of William Campbell in his days in that Star Trek episode "The Squire of Gothos." Try thinking of that reference.
Victorious: April Fools Blank (2012)
Dan Schneider goes slightly more over the top than "Monty Python's Flying Circus."
The cast and crew of Victorious promised us this would be the craziest episode ever, and they kept their promise.
Tori comes into one of Sikowitz's classes trying to play what she thinks is a creative practical joke, but nobody seems to give a rat's ass. Meanwhile, a whole bunch of weird stuff starts happening around her, and though the official title description claims she doesn't notice any of it, there are too many instances where she actively participates in it.
Regarding the Wizard of Oz parody: It's Ariana Grande, not Victoria Justice who sounds like Judy Garland, which means Jade's alleged imitations of Tori are not supposed to be that of the former Gumm sister. Grande is dressed exactly like Garland, Justice's costume is slightly toned-down from Billie Burke, and Gillies is scarier-looking than Maraget Hamilton. But it's still played for laughs, as it has to be. "Oh my. She spoke her stage directions." Yeah, so did you, Cat. Of course, we never find out if "Dorothy" goes home, because an actual crew member of the show calls Leon Thomas onto another set. But will an impending disaster become the catalyst for love for Tori, and of all people Robbie? Or is it a false alarm?
There's a certain group of fans that would love an interaction between Jade and Tori in the hallways. I have a feeling that scene was written primarily for them. In the parody of the 1970's adaptation of "Match Game," the girls look better, especially Liz Gillies. And holy fleurging schmit; Daniella Monet actually CAN sing! Not that I didn't already know this earlier, but if this were a normal episode of Victorious, the entire main cast as well as the supporting cast would be scrambling to stop Trina from joining the chorus.
Sadly, a lot of fans of the show didn't like this episode at first, because it was a little too weird and unconventional for them. Thankfully though, many in that group has warmed up to it and learned to appreciate it. I on the other hand thought it was that very weirdness that made it so great from the very beginning. Maybe it's my familiarity with far-fetched Britcoms like "Monty Python's Flying Circus," and "The Young Ones" that has something to do with my enjoyment. I'm not so sure of that, but it was still a hilarious episode.
If not Beck, then who else is right for Jade?
I understand why a lot of people want to see Tori and Jade fall in love with each other. Both Victoria, Avan, and the characters they play seem to get along so well, it almost seems like a crime that they're not a couple. Be that as it may, neither of the two stars see each other that way, so we'll have to deal with it.
Everyone at Hollywood Arts knows that Jade West is a girl you don't want to be angry with you. This includes the normally impossible to intimidate Beck who broke up with her in "The Worst Couple" and Sinjin who has had a long-standing crush on her. So when a girl named Meredith asks Beck out, he's hesitant to accept her offer, because this girl was his romantic partner in an old school play, and he doesn't want to face the wrath of his ex. That's when Tori decides she should set Jade up with a guy, so Beck can take this girl out. Of course there's no way that'll happen, because when she's not threatening her fellow classmates, she's busy concentrating on an upcoming concert at the school's "Asphalt Café" later that week. When she finds out what's going on Jade, she reluctantly lets Beck go out with the girl. There's also a B-Story about a pet butterfly that Robbie takes care of who gets caught in Cat's ear and keeps biting her.
On the night of the concert, Andre's crazy grandmother causes one scene after the next, including a massive argument with Trina, and the date between Beck and Meredith turns out to be a disaster, because she evidently has no mind of her own. Beck confides with Tori that the date was a failure, and then the answer to the type of girl that seems to be right for him is interrupted with a fantastic song.
Like "Prom Wrecker," which I have yet to finish a review of, the song at the end which was partially written by Elizabeth Gillies makes up for everything that one may not like about the episode. Gillies' performance of "You Don't Know Me," is somewhere above that of Pat Benetar in her heyday, although I've heard other people compare her to Avril Lavigne. Nevertheless the song describes Jade to a "T," and if it weren't for the fact that Liz Gillies is nothing like her character, you could almost consider it her opus, in the same way "Song 2 You" is regarding Leon Thomas. It's a shame the song wasn't nominated for an Emmy Award for Outstanding Original Music and Lyrics this year. and the series was brought to an almost abrupt end in early 2013. The best thing you can say is that at least it won a Kids Choice Award for Favorite TV Show of 2013, which isn't saying much.