What happens when a big-shot film producer like Dino De Laurentiis orders to take a low-budget production like "Queen Kong" out of circulation, supposedly because it discredits his own remake of the classic 1933 film? That's right, "Queen Kong" immediately became an immense cult-hit and probably a lot more popular than it ever would have been if De Laurentiis had simply ignored it! This is one of the most deranged comedies ever, only you laugh at how ridiculous it is and not so much at the script-jokes or parody situations. "Queen Kong" looks fresh & funny for about 10 minutes; during the opening sequences in which you unexpectedly witness that women are the strong gender here and men are all just redundant and insignificant wimps. The humor stops right after the "Libertine Lady" song which, I admit, has some of the coolest lyrics ever ("Burn your bra...Burn your panties...Call your mum...Call your aunties") and the rest of the film is amateurish nonsense and actually quite boring. Copying the original "King Kong" bit by bit, the story revolves on a female film crew that sets foot on a tropical island where the (once again female) natives idolize a humongous (oh yes...female) ape, named Queen Kong". She immediately fancies the male love interest of the film crew (character name: Ray Fay ha ha!). Watching this film is only amusing in case you're severely drunk or under the influence of soft drugs, as it is a series of absurd gags that you simply can't appreciate in a sober condition. The special effects are lousy and the monsters even look faker than the ones in the absolute cheapest Japanese Godzilla rip-offs. It's a real shame that several of the cast members agreed to star in this garbage. They all previously starred in good, solid Brit-horror films. The gorgeous Valerie Léon was in "Blood From the Mummy's Tomb" and Linda Hayden (luckily, she only has a cameo) was in "Blood on Satan's Claw" and "Madhouse". The male lead Robin Askwith played in "Horror Hospital" and the regretfully underrated "Tower of Evil".
26 Reviews
Utterly bewildering, and mostly not in a good way
I_Ailurophile5 November 2021
What is most profoundly remarkable about 'Queen Kong' is that as it begins, the movie demonstrates genuine promise. Over the top as everything immediately is, my reaction wavered between delight and dismay - before I had time to process one passing moment, the mood flipped with the next. Yet overall my initial response was laughing with the picture, more heartily than I have in a little while. There were some great ideas to start, and my hopes were raised.
Unfortunately, that positive first impression is not maintained after about the first ten minutes. The entertainment only ever diminishes, and watching becomes a bit of a chore well before the end credits roll.
This is unquestionably a parody, so unserious in that angle as to occasionally include humor referential or non sequitur, and break the fourth wall. More than that, of course - for whatever jokes and absurdities are included along the way, 'Queen Kong' is above all an obvious direct send-up of the 1933 classic 'King Kong,' lampooning each and every story beat for comedic effect. By all means, there's nothing inherently wrong with this; spoofs can be very funny and enjoyable.
It's hard to describe what went wrong with this particular film, but what it comes down to is that the attempts at comedy mostly just aren't funny as meager cleverness quickly gives way to tired mediocrity. It doesn't help that the writing and direction is pointedly gauche and careless. I can appreciate that for some viewers idiosyncrasies such as featuring a flubbed line in the final cut, or disregarding internal consistency and continuity, may be endearing, and part of the fun. For me, it disrupts suspension of disbelief, and so thoroughly befuddles as a film-making peculiarity as to at best distract from whatever transpires next. And then there scenes that serve no purpose whatsoever - if 'Queen Kong' were made in 2021, Linda Hayden's involvement may be chalked up to a crowdfunding stretch goal that was surpassed, and so an unnecessary moment is forced in as wish fulfillment to cast a noteworthy star. The course of events that led to her addition in 1976 are mysterious to me: Favor for a friend? Contractual obligation? Who knows.
The movie tries to ham-handedly include themes including sexism, and feminism, comparing the plight of Queen Kong to the treatment of women in contemporary society. Were the screenplay strong enough to support the argument, I could even back the thesis that the lead character of Luce Habit, in her ambition and ego, is in part a reflection of how all too often "breaking the glass ceiling" really means nothing more than writing female-coded figures in the same way that male-coded figures would be. However, these notions are not approached with any real effort, or especial sincerity - and are further undercut by writing and camerawork that illustrates the male gaze. Does 'Queen Kong' actually want to explore these themes, and just fails to do so? Does it want to cheekily play off these themes, and just isn't funny enough to show it? It's impossible to say for sure, just as it's impossible to tell the intent or awareness behind passing dialogue or moments that toe the line with racism, or homophobia.
I was genuinely excited when I first started watching, because the earliest scenes defied the poor reception this film had otherwise seemed to elicit. But disappointment soon took over, turning increasingly to a sense of embarrassment. I don't doubt for one instant that there are folks who love the sort of movie 'Queen Kong' is, and find this specific picture an absolute charm. I am glad for them. What I see, however, is a feature with varying and uncertain levels of labor, diligence, earnestness, and discretion - but a level of humor and amusement that is dependably very low, or absent.
Oh well.
Unfortunately, that positive first impression is not maintained after about the first ten minutes. The entertainment only ever diminishes, and watching becomes a bit of a chore well before the end credits roll.
This is unquestionably a parody, so unserious in that angle as to occasionally include humor referential or non sequitur, and break the fourth wall. More than that, of course - for whatever jokes and absurdities are included along the way, 'Queen Kong' is above all an obvious direct send-up of the 1933 classic 'King Kong,' lampooning each and every story beat for comedic effect. By all means, there's nothing inherently wrong with this; spoofs can be very funny and enjoyable.
It's hard to describe what went wrong with this particular film, but what it comes down to is that the attempts at comedy mostly just aren't funny as meager cleverness quickly gives way to tired mediocrity. It doesn't help that the writing and direction is pointedly gauche and careless. I can appreciate that for some viewers idiosyncrasies such as featuring a flubbed line in the final cut, or disregarding internal consistency and continuity, may be endearing, and part of the fun. For me, it disrupts suspension of disbelief, and so thoroughly befuddles as a film-making peculiarity as to at best distract from whatever transpires next. And then there scenes that serve no purpose whatsoever - if 'Queen Kong' were made in 2021, Linda Hayden's involvement may be chalked up to a crowdfunding stretch goal that was surpassed, and so an unnecessary moment is forced in as wish fulfillment to cast a noteworthy star. The course of events that led to her addition in 1976 are mysterious to me: Favor for a friend? Contractual obligation? Who knows.
The movie tries to ham-handedly include themes including sexism, and feminism, comparing the plight of Queen Kong to the treatment of women in contemporary society. Were the screenplay strong enough to support the argument, I could even back the thesis that the lead character of Luce Habit, in her ambition and ego, is in part a reflection of how all too often "breaking the glass ceiling" really means nothing more than writing female-coded figures in the same way that male-coded figures would be. However, these notions are not approached with any real effort, or especial sincerity - and are further undercut by writing and camerawork that illustrates the male gaze. Does 'Queen Kong' actually want to explore these themes, and just fails to do so? Does it want to cheekily play off these themes, and just isn't funny enough to show it? It's impossible to say for sure, just as it's impossible to tell the intent or awareness behind passing dialogue or moments that toe the line with racism, or homophobia.
I was genuinely excited when I first started watching, because the earliest scenes defied the poor reception this film had otherwise seemed to elicit. But disappointment soon took over, turning increasingly to a sense of embarrassment. I don't doubt for one instant that there are folks who love the sort of movie 'Queen Kong' is, and find this specific picture an absolute charm. I am glad for them. What I see, however, is a feature with varying and uncertain levels of labor, diligence, earnestness, and discretion - but a level of humor and amusement that is dependably very low, or absent.
Oh well.
The nadir of British cinema
Leofwine_draca21 October 2016
Warning: Spoilers
It's the film that makes PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE look like a professional masterpiece and has to be one of the worst, albeit most unseen, movies ever created. It's certainly one of the crudest. Up until now, I had considered NO SECRETS! to be the worst British comedy film that I'd ever watched, but all that changes with QUEEN KONG, a film so bloody awful in absolutely every respect that it should be a must for every movie-goer, in order to make them aware of the skill that goes into everyday movies.
Conceived as a spoof on the recently-released remake of KING KONG, starring Jessica Lange, QUEEN KONG was shelved after producer Dino De Laurentiis threw a fit and restricted the film's release wherever he could. Even today it remains a little-seen movie, more talked about than anything else. Judging by the state of this movie and the wave of stupid sex comedies which filled the British market back in the late '70s, our film industry was in a terrible state - something from which it hasn't really recovered.
Robin Askwith stars as 'Ray Fay' - the screaming male lead in this gender-bending variant on the classic tale, which follows the plot of KING KONG very closely indeed - so much so that you know exactly what's going to happen. However, along the way they throw in lots of jokes that fall repeatedly flat - I can't think of one intentionally funny moment in this entire film. Things reach a new low with an EXORCIST joke which really highlights this film's level of humour.
Askwith, incidentally, was never much of an actor - his acting consisted of mugging at every opportunity - yet even he seems good here, in comparison to the rest of the abysmal cast. Rula Lenska is the irritating female lead, an obnoxious director with her own agenda, and her acting is terrible. There aren't any other principal characters, and only a couple of other blokes in the thing. The other stars are a bunch of interchangeable actresses who run around a lot in bikini tops and skimpy shorts - it's that kind of movie. Look hard and you'll spot the ever-lovely Valerie Leon as a native priestess or something, in a new career low for her. I'm not surprised she gave up acting shortly afterwards. Linda Hayden also cameos as a singing nun for no particular reason, for about a minute before dying.
As well as the non-direction, shoddy editing, and tinny, inappropriate music, the special effects in this film are appalling conceived and make the ones in DR WHO look like visual masterpieces. QUEEN KONG is obviously a man in a tatty-old ape suit, who walks around in some over-size sets on occasion or alternatively is back-projected in front of tiny, running people. This is rather obvious due to the bright blue screen behind her every time this happens. The prehistoric "monsters" that Kong fights in the jungle are pitiful, especially a rubbery Tyrannosaurus rex whose jaws bend back and forth with the slightest touch. Just when things can't get any worse, a rubbish Pterodactyl appears, sometimes huge, sometimes tiny, depending on the prop they were using. I realised then just how good the effects in AT THE EARTH'S CORE are in comparison.
However, for me, one special effect in particular highlights the cheapness of this production. We see an obvious model of Kong being pulled down the River Thames, wrapped in chains, on her arrival to London. At this particular moment, somebody swoops a toy helicopter past the top right of the picture. I couldn't believe my eyes and had to rewind this scene to make sure I wasn't dreaming, but yes, it is a model helicopter up there, with the top hidden to avoid the hands of the man holding it. Just one poor moment of many, QUEEN KONG is a truly pitiful film, only worthwhile as a curiosity, in the same way that people crowd around road accidents in a morbid way. For a much more fun British take on the Kong legend, check out 1961's KONGA, complete with a hamming Michael Gough and equally dodgy special effects - but at least they had some money and made an effort in that particular film.
Conceived as a spoof on the recently-released remake of KING KONG, starring Jessica Lange, QUEEN KONG was shelved after producer Dino De Laurentiis threw a fit and restricted the film's release wherever he could. Even today it remains a little-seen movie, more talked about than anything else. Judging by the state of this movie and the wave of stupid sex comedies which filled the British market back in the late '70s, our film industry was in a terrible state - something from which it hasn't really recovered.
Robin Askwith stars as 'Ray Fay' - the screaming male lead in this gender-bending variant on the classic tale, which follows the plot of KING KONG very closely indeed - so much so that you know exactly what's going to happen. However, along the way they throw in lots of jokes that fall repeatedly flat - I can't think of one intentionally funny moment in this entire film. Things reach a new low with an EXORCIST joke which really highlights this film's level of humour.
Askwith, incidentally, was never much of an actor - his acting consisted of mugging at every opportunity - yet even he seems good here, in comparison to the rest of the abysmal cast. Rula Lenska is the irritating female lead, an obnoxious director with her own agenda, and her acting is terrible. There aren't any other principal characters, and only a couple of other blokes in the thing. The other stars are a bunch of interchangeable actresses who run around a lot in bikini tops and skimpy shorts - it's that kind of movie. Look hard and you'll spot the ever-lovely Valerie Leon as a native priestess or something, in a new career low for her. I'm not surprised she gave up acting shortly afterwards. Linda Hayden also cameos as a singing nun for no particular reason, for about a minute before dying.
As well as the non-direction, shoddy editing, and tinny, inappropriate music, the special effects in this film are appalling conceived and make the ones in DR WHO look like visual masterpieces. QUEEN KONG is obviously a man in a tatty-old ape suit, who walks around in some over-size sets on occasion or alternatively is back-projected in front of tiny, running people. This is rather obvious due to the bright blue screen behind her every time this happens. The prehistoric "monsters" that Kong fights in the jungle are pitiful, especially a rubbery Tyrannosaurus rex whose jaws bend back and forth with the slightest touch. Just when things can't get any worse, a rubbish Pterodactyl appears, sometimes huge, sometimes tiny, depending on the prop they were using. I realised then just how good the effects in AT THE EARTH'S CORE are in comparison.
However, for me, one special effect in particular highlights the cheapness of this production. We see an obvious model of Kong being pulled down the River Thames, wrapped in chains, on her arrival to London. At this particular moment, somebody swoops a toy helicopter past the top right of the picture. I couldn't believe my eyes and had to rewind this scene to make sure I wasn't dreaming, but yes, it is a model helicopter up there, with the top hidden to avoid the hands of the man holding it. Just one poor moment of many, QUEEN KONG is a truly pitiful film, only worthwhile as a curiosity, in the same way that people crowd around road accidents in a morbid way. For a much more fun British take on the Kong legend, check out 1961's KONGA, complete with a hamming Michael Gough and equally dodgy special effects - but at least they had some money and made an effort in that particular film.
An immense let-down
stevenfallonnyc26 February 2004
Warning: Spoilers
"Queen Kong" from 1976 is a film I always wanted to see ever since I first heard of its existence, around 1978 or so. Being a lifelong fan of all things "giant monster destroys things" (especially Godzilla) I began a lifelong search to find this on bootleg. Incredibly, despite most other things turning up eventually, this never surfaced.
I learned a bit more about it over the years, like that it actually was released in a small amount of theaters abroad, being pulled almost immediately. I met some other monster fans over the years who also were searching for this film but to no avail.
So when I heard that "Queen Kong" was actually going to get a DVD release, I was pretty happy. Other giant ape movies from the 70's were released on DVD, like The Mighty Peking Man (a.k.a. Goliathon) and A.P.E., so I felt this was deserved. I was psyched on finally seeing, after 25 years or so, what this film was about.
Well, to put it mildly, this film is garbage. It is complete, utter crap. It's not even "so bad it is good" like say, "Robot Monster." This film is horrid because it doesn't have a clue: it's totally void of any heart, wit, or charm. And you need at least two of those to make an entertaining "bad" movie.
The shame of it all is that the premise has a lot of potential, to make a feminist "King Kong." In the hands of filmmakers who actually knew what they were doing, the idea may have had a chance.
The first 30 minutes of this film is so unbelievably mind-numbing, it just seems like someone took an expensive camera in the backyard and started filming. Now normally, that sounds like the making of a "so bad it's good" film, but again, no charm, wit or heart, so the film doesn't work on any level. Nothing happens in the first 30 minutes at all - it literally is a complete waste of time.
30 minutes in, Queen Kong finally shows up, and after some extremely poor scenes, 20 minutes later (yes, just 20 minutes later) Queen kong is en route to London, having been captured. In London, after Queen Kong escapes what looks like a big outdoor dinner party, she then goes to Big Ben (after about 5 seconds of fun model work and the rest, horrible model work), climbs up, and battles helicopters. The male substitute for Fay Wray makes a speech over a copter's PA about feminism, and it ends soon after.
Again, there isn;t a trace of wit, cleverness, heart, or charm in this totally bland take on the "King Kong" legend. It's hard to even laugh at the brief monster battles because of the lack of these things. Dino DeLaurentes (sp), who made 1976's "King Kong" and forced this out of the theaters, had nothing to worry about really - word of mouth would have killed this off within days. In comparison to the other "Kong" rip-offs of the day I mentioned, "The Mighty Peking Man" is so vastly superior to this it boggles the mind, and even the poor "A.P.E." is so far ahead of this dreck. And don't even think about comparing this to any Godzilla film - the worst Godzilla film looks like Gone With The Wind next to "Queen Kong."
The one lone good thing about "Queen Kong" is that the girls are all very pretty and beautiful. And 1976 beautiful is pretty hot. The fact that they bothered to get good looking girls is at least a little something to the filmmaker's credit. If you can get hold of the film's trailer without buying the DVD, all the FX shots you'd be interested in seeing are mostly in there. There's no need at all to watch anything but the trailer. One day I'll listen to the director's commentary, just out of morbid curiosity.
I learned a bit more about it over the years, like that it actually was released in a small amount of theaters abroad, being pulled almost immediately. I met some other monster fans over the years who also were searching for this film but to no avail.
So when I heard that "Queen Kong" was actually going to get a DVD release, I was pretty happy. Other giant ape movies from the 70's were released on DVD, like The Mighty Peking Man (a.k.a. Goliathon) and A.P.E., so I felt this was deserved. I was psyched on finally seeing, after 25 years or so, what this film was about.
Well, to put it mildly, this film is garbage. It is complete, utter crap. It's not even "so bad it is good" like say, "Robot Monster." This film is horrid because it doesn't have a clue: it's totally void of any heart, wit, or charm. And you need at least two of those to make an entertaining "bad" movie.
The shame of it all is that the premise has a lot of potential, to make a feminist "King Kong." In the hands of filmmakers who actually knew what they were doing, the idea may have had a chance.
The first 30 minutes of this film is so unbelievably mind-numbing, it just seems like someone took an expensive camera in the backyard and started filming. Now normally, that sounds like the making of a "so bad it's good" film, but again, no charm, wit or heart, so the film doesn't work on any level. Nothing happens in the first 30 minutes at all - it literally is a complete waste of time.
30 minutes in, Queen Kong finally shows up, and after some extremely poor scenes, 20 minutes later (yes, just 20 minutes later) Queen kong is en route to London, having been captured. In London, after Queen Kong escapes what looks like a big outdoor dinner party, she then goes to Big Ben (after about 5 seconds of fun model work and the rest, horrible model work), climbs up, and battles helicopters. The male substitute for Fay Wray makes a speech over a copter's PA about feminism, and it ends soon after.
Again, there isn;t a trace of wit, cleverness, heart, or charm in this totally bland take on the "King Kong" legend. It's hard to even laugh at the brief monster battles because of the lack of these things. Dino DeLaurentes (sp), who made 1976's "King Kong" and forced this out of the theaters, had nothing to worry about really - word of mouth would have killed this off within days. In comparison to the other "Kong" rip-offs of the day I mentioned, "The Mighty Peking Man" is so vastly superior to this it boggles the mind, and even the poor "A.P.E." is so far ahead of this dreck. And don't even think about comparing this to any Godzilla film - the worst Godzilla film looks like Gone With The Wind next to "Queen Kong."
The one lone good thing about "Queen Kong" is that the girls are all very pretty and beautiful. And 1976 beautiful is pretty hot. The fact that they bothered to get good looking girls is at least a little something to the filmmaker's credit. If you can get hold of the film's trailer without buying the DVD, all the FX shots you'd be interested in seeing are mostly in there. There's no need at all to watch anything but the trailer. One day I'll listen to the director's commentary, just out of morbid curiosity.
Quite Possibly the Worst....Of All.....Ever.
dmc1029 June 2006
Never has a film contained so much embarrassment. Not only on the part of the directors, producers, writers and actors, but on the person who has accidentally been duped into watching it. Perhaps the first thing I should say is that I watch bad movies - BAD movies - all the time. They don't phase me, I can sometimes see things in bad films that others can't. Maybe those things aren't there. Either way, bad movies get a lot of bad rep.
Farouk (Frank) Agrama's 1976 atrocity, Queen Kong, is almost certainly the worst film I have ever seen. Worse than Plan 9. Worse than Raiders of the Living Dead. Worse than Bride of the Monster. It is about 750 billion times worse than the Dino DeLaurentiis remake of King Kong and about 984 billion times worse than Peter Jackson's over-long take on the story.
Frankly, this film was doomed from the start. It was produced by Harmony Gold, a typically useless independent company (though they managed to drag themselves out of the gutter in the 80's and are now quite reputable). The writers/producers Ronald Dobrin (Robin Dobria) and Farouk Agrama (Frank Agrama) have assembled one of the worst casts, constructed THE worst ape suit and hired the least skilled effects technicians. The result is, as you can imagine, not pretty.
Much of the film takes place in Lazanga (where they do the Konga...apparently) though you would be forgiven for mistaking it for the English countryside. Combined with the bottom rate acting of Robin Askwith (better know for "Confessions of a Window Cleaner" which is hardly Citizen Kane) and the obviously embarrassed Rula Lenska, this is indeed a depressing affair. The utterly ridiculous ape suit is beyond laughable - much like the film itself - it is just depressing.
As the location moves to London (which recreates the theater scene from the 1933 King Kong in a cheaply designed open air setup) the script descends even further and the production values crash and burn. Surprisingly, it isn't the first time London has been ravaged by a giant ape (see 1961's KONGA) but it IS the first time the ape has looked so unconvincing. Cue cut scenes of postcard London landmarks and a dire-straits intimate moment between Queen Kong and Ray Fay (like Fay Wray - geddit?). Before you know it the film is over and you have lost 90 minutes of you life.
If you want to see a bad film, watch Agrama's 1980 effort (Dawn Of The Mummy) and avoid this one. It is beyond being simple 'bad', it is a crime against cinema (it seems that Paramount Pictures agreed, they attempted to sue Harmony Gold in 1976). This film is also guilty of theft. It WILL steal 90 minutes from you which you WON'T get back. Go ahead, call the police, they won't be interested! Do yourself a favour. Don't. Just don't.
Farouk (Frank) Agrama's 1976 atrocity, Queen Kong, is almost certainly the worst film I have ever seen. Worse than Plan 9. Worse than Raiders of the Living Dead. Worse than Bride of the Monster. It is about 750 billion times worse than the Dino DeLaurentiis remake of King Kong and about 984 billion times worse than Peter Jackson's over-long take on the story.
Frankly, this film was doomed from the start. It was produced by Harmony Gold, a typically useless independent company (though they managed to drag themselves out of the gutter in the 80's and are now quite reputable). The writers/producers Ronald Dobrin (Robin Dobria) and Farouk Agrama (Frank Agrama) have assembled one of the worst casts, constructed THE worst ape suit and hired the least skilled effects technicians. The result is, as you can imagine, not pretty.
Much of the film takes place in Lazanga (where they do the Konga...apparently) though you would be forgiven for mistaking it for the English countryside. Combined with the bottom rate acting of Robin Askwith (better know for "Confessions of a Window Cleaner" which is hardly Citizen Kane) and the obviously embarrassed Rula Lenska, this is indeed a depressing affair. The utterly ridiculous ape suit is beyond laughable - much like the film itself - it is just depressing.
As the location moves to London (which recreates the theater scene from the 1933 King Kong in a cheaply designed open air setup) the script descends even further and the production values crash and burn. Surprisingly, it isn't the first time London has been ravaged by a giant ape (see 1961's KONGA) but it IS the first time the ape has looked so unconvincing. Cue cut scenes of postcard London landmarks and a dire-straits intimate moment between Queen Kong and Ray Fay (like Fay Wray - geddit?). Before you know it the film is over and you have lost 90 minutes of you life.
If you want to see a bad film, watch Agrama's 1980 effort (Dawn Of The Mummy) and avoid this one. It is beyond being simple 'bad', it is a crime against cinema (it seems that Paramount Pictures agreed, they attempted to sue Harmony Gold in 1976). This film is also guilty of theft. It WILL steal 90 minutes from you which you WON'T get back. Go ahead, call the police, they won't be interested! Do yourself a favour. Don't. Just don't.
Mindless but merry
Nozz9 November 2002
Better than the 1976 remake of King Kong
dbborroughs25 April 2005
This gender bent spoof of King Kong was hard to see until the advent of DVD. Thats a shame because its better than the film that producers of the remake of King Kong unleashed on the unsuspecting world. Having not pretense at being anything other than a send up this film lets it all go in what is mostly a good but really dumb comedy. The problem with the film is that even at a running time of around 80 minutes this movie is way too long. There is only enough material to sustain a 20 minute short and its stretched to fill a feature. The lack of material leaves many dead spots and allows for some really bad material to creep in. Had this been shorter it would have been better (say as a sketch on SNL), but as it stands now its a very interesting side note to the debacle that was the 1976 King Kong remake.
A Steaming Pile of Apeshit
OChrist30 May 2009
As a tot in 1976, I remember seeing blurbs and photos from this in "Famous Monsters of Filmland" and "The Monster Times", and then hearing it had been suppressed by Dino DeLaurentiis. I grew up imagining a cheeky, raunchy, hip spoof and now, finally, over 32 years later, I feel compelled to report QUEEN KONG is the worst movie I've ever endured, and that includes MYRA BRECKINRIDGE (and JUNO). Smug, ghastly cheap (what the hell did they spend the 632K budget on, exactly?!), laugh-free, irritating to the point of nausea, its 84 minutes feel like hours. There's not enough material here to sustain a two-minute sketch in the worst KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE knock-off you could ever imagine, and I would like to personally test anyone who finds this entertaining for developmental disabilities. It makes Dino's KONG look like the 1933 original and should be avoided at any price. I would rather sit through two semesters of trigonometry, go without sex for six months, and endure a jalapeno enema than have to view this again. It's really that bad.
Huh???
bensonmum210 July 2005
Warning: Spoilers
- The less said about this steaming pile of dung, the better. It's hard to imagine that someone actually put up the money to finance this. What was the pitch? "Oh, we're making a King Kong spoof with women in all the roles previously done by men. And instead of Fay Wray, we're going to put a man in that role. And, here's the best part, his character's name is Ray Fay!" I'll never understand how anyone could find any of this remotely entertaining. It's meant to be funny, but none of the jokes work. Add to that some of the worst song and dance numbers ever filmed and Queen Kong becomes one of the worst films I've ever seen.
- But, I can't rate it a 1/10. I have to give it a point just for the casting of Valerie Leon.
There's only so many times I can say, "that's not funny".
Java_Joe11 July 2019
Queen Kong is a 10 minute sketch stretched to feature length and in order to do this they had to include a lot of bad puns, lame jokes and winks to the camera. The stars, Rula Lenska and Robin Askwith are said to be horrified with how bad the movie was and are sorry to say they starred in it. And after seeing it, I can really understand why.
This was supposed to be a tongue in cheek spoof of King Kong. Well it's less a spoof than it is throwing all sorts of jokes at the audience in the hopes that somebody will laugh. Problem is, most of them just aren't funny. For example they're trooping through the jungle and find a sign for "Konga Kola" and that's it. No callback to it, no comment on it, no reason for it to be there except later for most of the letters to fall off when they're running away. Or they encounter a prehistoric set of bagpipes with 70,000,000 BC stamped on it and instead of having a clever or surrealist line they instead make a "high road" joke. You know the one, "we'll take the high road and they'll take the low road and we'll get there before them." That's not a joke nor is it funny or even a clever reference to something else.
The special effects are laughably bad with blue screens, video effects and paper mache critters that wouldn't have looked out of place in a Sid and Marty Krofft show from the 70's. That's how much of a budget we're talking about.
There's no point talking about the plot because it's just a spoof of King Kong. People go to an island, find a giant gorilla who falls in love with in this case a man, they take the gorilla back to London where it breaks free and yada yada. You get the rest. Except in this case they send the gorilla and her human love interest back to the jungle. The end.
It's just bad all around and not even in a fun kind of "so bad it's good" kind of way.
Avoid this at all costs.
This was supposed to be a tongue in cheek spoof of King Kong. Well it's less a spoof than it is throwing all sorts of jokes at the audience in the hopes that somebody will laugh. Problem is, most of them just aren't funny. For example they're trooping through the jungle and find a sign for "Konga Kola" and that's it. No callback to it, no comment on it, no reason for it to be there except later for most of the letters to fall off when they're running away. Or they encounter a prehistoric set of bagpipes with 70,000,000 BC stamped on it and instead of having a clever or surrealist line they instead make a "high road" joke. You know the one, "we'll take the high road and they'll take the low road and we'll get there before them." That's not a joke nor is it funny or even a clever reference to something else.
The special effects are laughably bad with blue screens, video effects and paper mache critters that wouldn't have looked out of place in a Sid and Marty Krofft show from the 70's. That's how much of a budget we're talking about.
There's no point talking about the plot because it's just a spoof of King Kong. People go to an island, find a giant gorilla who falls in love with in this case a man, they take the gorilla back to London where it breaks free and yada yada. You get the rest. Except in this case they send the gorilla and her human love interest back to the jungle. The end.
It's just bad all around and not even in a fun kind of "so bad it's good" kind of way.
Avoid this at all costs.
Yikes
adriangr16 March 2013
"Queen Kong" has been hard to find on DVD or even video until very recently. Sadly it really isn't worth the effort, but there are many laughs to be had at how bad it is.
The film parodies the exact same plot as the famous classic, the twist here being that all the genders have been reversed. I don't think that would ever have worked as a movie, but as the budget here is so excruciatingly low, it is doomed no matter how funny the jokes are...and they are NOT. The general tone is something along the lines of a1970's Benny Hill special, most obvious in a scene when the lady jungle explorers walk past a giant Muppet-style animated plant tendril which proceeds to grope them in the boobs and bums as they jiggle past, squealing in light hearted protest. Yes folks, it really is that low. Well maybe that's harsh, in fact "light-hearted" is quite an apt description, as nearly all of the cast behave as though they are convinced that nobody is ever going to see this movie and they all just enjoy themselves without trying to actually do any acting at all.
I'll take Rula Lenska out of that observation though, as she does actually apply herself to the thankless role of "Luce Habit" the movie director and big game hunter, even though the lines she has to say are all toe-curlingly awful. It seems to me like the whole movie script was worked out on one evening in a bar and written on a napkin. In contrast to Rula Lenska, Robin Askwith behaves like he's got no brain at all.
The giant ape herself doesn't look too bad (yes - I was surprised too!), but no real effort is made to make her look 64 feet tall...she's constantly filmed next to very ordinary bushes and shrubs that never look remotely like full sized trees. Amazingly, there are some very large and not too shabby miniature sets made up to look like Tower Bridge and other parts of London, but sadly the budget must have been used up on making Tower Bridge, as when Queen Kong climbs Big Ben, they blend her image with just a photograph of the tower, and we only ever see the pointed roof in close up! What really screws "Queen Kong" into the ground is the really, REALLY, bad jokes in the script, which honestly would have been turned down by even the lamest TV sitcom. Very funny jokes would have made the threadbare production values bearable, but as it stands there's nothing good coming at you from any angle. Only the rarity of the movie makes this DVD worth tracking down.
The film parodies the exact same plot as the famous classic, the twist here being that all the genders have been reversed. I don't think that would ever have worked as a movie, but as the budget here is so excruciatingly low, it is doomed no matter how funny the jokes are...and they are NOT. The general tone is something along the lines of a1970's Benny Hill special, most obvious in a scene when the lady jungle explorers walk past a giant Muppet-style animated plant tendril which proceeds to grope them in the boobs and bums as they jiggle past, squealing in light hearted protest. Yes folks, it really is that low. Well maybe that's harsh, in fact "light-hearted" is quite an apt description, as nearly all of the cast behave as though they are convinced that nobody is ever going to see this movie and they all just enjoy themselves without trying to actually do any acting at all.
I'll take Rula Lenska out of that observation though, as she does actually apply herself to the thankless role of "Luce Habit" the movie director and big game hunter, even though the lines she has to say are all toe-curlingly awful. It seems to me like the whole movie script was worked out on one evening in a bar and written on a napkin. In contrast to Rula Lenska, Robin Askwith behaves like he's got no brain at all.
The giant ape herself doesn't look too bad (yes - I was surprised too!), but no real effort is made to make her look 64 feet tall...she's constantly filmed next to very ordinary bushes and shrubs that never look remotely like full sized trees. Amazingly, there are some very large and not too shabby miniature sets made up to look like Tower Bridge and other parts of London, but sadly the budget must have been used up on making Tower Bridge, as when Queen Kong climbs Big Ben, they blend her image with just a photograph of the tower, and we only ever see the pointed roof in close up! What really screws "Queen Kong" into the ground is the really, REALLY, bad jokes in the script, which honestly would have been turned down by even the lamest TV sitcom. Very funny jokes would have made the threadbare production values bearable, but as it stands there's nothing good coming at you from any angle. Only the rarity of the movie makes this DVD worth tracking down.
Queen Kong rules!
lordzedd-324 February 2007
Warning: Spoilers
When they announced the first remake of King Kong in 1975, other Countries scrambled to make they're own Kongs. There was China's Mighty Piking Man and Thailand's APE, both sucked to high Heaven. But one of these Kong wanna-be's stand out and that was Queen Kong. While the rest of the world went out of there way to rip off the classic Kong storyline and fail. The British decided to go another direction, not imitate, parody. Thus Queen Kong was born, of course made quickly and cheaply there are some production value issues. But it is clever and funny and I feel that Benny Hill had a hand in it somewhere. I find the story hilarious, the effects passable and the acting over the top, in the funny way. In my book as Kong rip offs go, you can't go wrong by doing right. This is the best of the rip offs, it's clever twist makes it not only worth watching, it makes it worth owning. 9 BIG STARS.
Queen Kong Should be sprung from the vault and released properly
BritTVFilmfan11 February 2001
The film stars Robin Askwith as Ray Fay, Rula Lenska's character (a film director) is called Luce Habit. There's a few other recognizable actors in the film, well I recognized them - Carol Drinkwater (The first Mrs.Herriot from the BBC TV series All Creatures Great & Small)), Robin worked with the second Mrs.Herriot Linda Bellingham in "Driving Instructor" so I guess Robin and Christopher Timothy have something in common (though I doubt Robin had an affair with Drinkwater), the other recognizable actors are Valerie Leon of Carry On fame, and Linda Hayden in a cameo role playing a Singing Nun.
Here's the plot - Luce is filming in the jungle, her lead actor can't handle the riggers of the job and storms out of the camp, which is appropriate because he plays a "Camp" character. So Luce goes to London searching for a new male lead, "he has to be gentle yet strong and manly", guess who she picks. Luce drugs Ray and takes him to the jungle Island Lazanga "where they do the Conga" to finish her film. While filming of course they discover a village of maidens led by Valerie Leon as the Bikini clad High Priestess, of course they decide Ray a perfect sacrifice for Queen Kong, so they capture him and leave him on a giant table inside a cake for Queen Kong to eat. Of course Queen Kong doesn't eat Ray, but she does fall in love with him. The rest of the story is pretty much like the original King Kong, they take Queen Kong to England and all hell breaks loose.
The opening credits song for Queen Kong has to be heard to be believed, here's the lyrics - Queen Kong, Queen Kong Queen Kong is the chick with all the hair Queen Kong comes from I don't know where Kong Kong Kong Kong Kong Kong Queen Queen Queen Queen Queen, Queen Kong She's a Queenie who aint weenie She's a Queenie Queenie Queenie for my weenie When I'm feeling mighty spunky I want to do it with my hunky monkey Queenie Queenie Queenie Queenie, Queen Kong Kong Kong Kong Kong, Queen Kong
Queen Kong is riddled with bad jokes, but Robin & Rula deliver them without batting an eyelid, here's one of the early ones in the film that made me cringe, Robin's begging for a joint from some hippies - "Hey man have you got a joint, come on just let me have one please, I won't bother you again" the Hippie says "know man you're always after a joint, you say just one, but you keep coming back for more, beat it man, I said beat it man" Robin says " I tried beating it, but the Pope said it was wrong". Here's one of Rula's, Robin says " look at that great wall, what lies behind that great wall" Rula's reply "the Chinese have always lied behind the great wall"
The special effects for Queen Kong (if you can call them special) are terrible, they quite fit the film though, I have a feeling they're extra lo w budget on purpose.
OK, I liked the film, it kinda had the same feel as a Leslie Nielson "Naked Gun" film, and there's a link, the Queen impersonator in the first Naked Gun movie also appears in Queen Kong. Queen Kong definitely deserves to be taken from the vault and released properly, I would love to one day own a special edition widescreen version on DVD, with a commentary by Robin and Rula, but that'll probably never happen. But hey! Tim Burtons doing a remake of Planet Of The Apes, maybe with all the monkey hype that's going to be hitting us next year, someone might figure let's cash in, just a fantasy I know.
Here's the plot - Luce is filming in the jungle, her lead actor can't handle the riggers of the job and storms out of the camp, which is appropriate because he plays a "Camp" character. So Luce goes to London searching for a new male lead, "he has to be gentle yet strong and manly", guess who she picks. Luce drugs Ray and takes him to the jungle Island Lazanga "where they do the Conga" to finish her film. While filming of course they discover a village of maidens led by Valerie Leon as the Bikini clad High Priestess, of course they decide Ray a perfect sacrifice for Queen Kong, so they capture him and leave him on a giant table inside a cake for Queen Kong to eat. Of course Queen Kong doesn't eat Ray, but she does fall in love with him. The rest of the story is pretty much like the original King Kong, they take Queen Kong to England and all hell breaks loose.
The opening credits song for Queen Kong has to be heard to be believed, here's the lyrics - Queen Kong, Queen Kong Queen Kong is the chick with all the hair Queen Kong comes from I don't know where Kong Kong Kong Kong Kong Kong Queen Queen Queen Queen Queen, Queen Kong She's a Queenie who aint weenie She's a Queenie Queenie Queenie for my weenie When I'm feeling mighty spunky I want to do it with my hunky monkey Queenie Queenie Queenie Queenie, Queen Kong Kong Kong Kong Kong, Queen Kong
Queen Kong is riddled with bad jokes, but Robin & Rula deliver them without batting an eyelid, here's one of the early ones in the film that made me cringe, Robin's begging for a joint from some hippies - "Hey man have you got a joint, come on just let me have one please, I won't bother you again" the Hippie says "know man you're always after a joint, you say just one, but you keep coming back for more, beat it man, I said beat it man" Robin says " I tried beating it, but the Pope said it was wrong". Here's one of Rula's, Robin says " look at that great wall, what lies behind that great wall" Rula's reply "the Chinese have always lied behind the great wall"
The special effects for Queen Kong (if you can call them special) are terrible, they quite fit the film though, I have a feeling they're extra lo w budget on purpose.
OK, I liked the film, it kinda had the same feel as a Leslie Nielson "Naked Gun" film, and there's a link, the Queen impersonator in the first Naked Gun movie also appears in Queen Kong. Queen Kong definitely deserves to be taken from the vault and released properly, I would love to one day own a special edition widescreen version on DVD, with a commentary by Robin and Rula, but that'll probably never happen. But hey! Tim Burtons doing a remake of Planet Of The Apes, maybe with all the monkey hype that's going to be hitting us next year, someone might figure let's cash in, just a fantasy I know.
What might be the WORST King Kong rip off ever!
lfdewolfe29 August 2020
This movie sucks! I mean it, the acting is abominable, the sets and costumes look like something from an Asylum movie, and the jokes suck! That's my biggest problem is the jokes, in the hands of Monty Python they could have done a great job. Instead most of the jokes here are either movie references (like "Lady Jaws"), horrible puns, or stuff that does6make any sense. Like when they find the prehistoric bagpipe and instead of doing something Monty Python would have done and take a surrealistic direction, they make a I'll take the high road joke.
That's not funny, that doesn't even make any sense! The costumes and sets suck, the acting sucks, and the jokes are horrible. Don't watch it at any cost!
Long suppressed Monkey Business or Adventures of a Gorilla's mate.
gavcrimson6 May 2003
Warning: Spoilers
SPOILERS INCLUDED
Queen Kong is a film I'd long given up hope of ever seeing,now that I've seen it I've just given up hope. Jokingly aside viewing this long lost Italian financed,British shot monster spoof complete with Come Play with Me-like musical numbers the term jaw-dropping' seems to spring to mind. Dreamed up-no doubt after one too many Martinis-as a feminist' take on the original King Kong with all the male and female roles reversed,Queen Kong fell foul of producer Dino De Laurentiis who felt the film would bring shame on his $24 million dollar remake of King Kong. Why Queen Kong should be singled out for the lawsuit treatment is open to speculation-the film hardy stands alone what with the likes of A*P*E,The Mighty Peking Man and surely worse offender of them all Yeti-Giant of the 20th century all riding on the Kong bandwagon. What seems to have separated Queen Kong from the rest is that while all of the above have their fair share of unintentional hilarity,Queen Kong is meant to be a comedy right from the start and comes across as a merciless leg pull at the expense of the original King Kong and by association Laurentiis's remake. Ultimately Laurentiis and his lawyers were (mostly) successful in having the film suppressed-all that emerged in Britain was a tie-in novel meant to promote a film that was anything but coming soon'.
So the world was denied the exploits of feminist filmmaker Luce Habit (Rula Lenska)and wimpy hippy Ray Fay (Robin Askwith) who gets roped into becoming her new lead. The pair set sail for darkest Africa onboard Luce's boat (The Liberated Lady') which comes complete with an all singing,all dancing female crew. Arriving in Lazanga, where they do the konga' the liberated lady's crew come across a gorilla worshipping tribe lead by Valerie Leon (in what's essentially a reprise of her role in Carry on up the Jungle). Deciding that Ray would make a more fitting birthday present to their idol than the toothless wonder they had lined up,the tribe stuff Ray into a birthday cake and he's soon being whisked away by 64 foot gorilla Queen Kong who resembles a giant teddy bear with tits. In-between falling in love with Ray,Queen Kong has to fight off passing dinosaurs (it's a terrywotsit' cries Ray) in sequences that make it clear that wherever the purported $632,000 budget went, it certainly wasn't on the special effects. Sneaky Luce and her liberated ladies manage to snatch Ray back and the gorilla ends up chasing the cast through the jungle only to wind up captured and shipped off to London.
Silly,silly and did I mention silly. Under the direction of Egyptian Frank Agrama (best remembered for his 1981 gore opus Dawn of the Mummy'),Queen Kong seems to have been attempting to mine the same vein of Anglo-centric' humour popularised by Monty Python and The Goodies. Seen today through this feels more like a precursor to the anything goes Airplane' school of comedy,with too many visual gags to digest in one viewing and contemporary film parodies (Jaws,The Exorcist) thrown into this mixing bowl of the good, the mistimed and the cringe-worthy for good measure. Inevitably there's also an Airport parody where in what can hardly to described as a career highlight Linda Hayden plays a tuneless singing nun. The bad news is that as a comedy Queen Kong generally misses the mark,less genuinely funny the film has to settle for being entertaining in a what were they thinking' manner. The best way (and possibly the only way) to approach Queen Kong is like a big budget pantomime on film,in which a naggingly familiar cast of British comedy regulars gamely make fools of themselves solely for your amusement. At a preview screening a less-than-impressed Rula Lenska reportedly told Askwith that their careers would be a complete shambles if this were ever shown to the general public. And both probably breathed a sigh of quiet relief when Dino inadvertently stepped in to spare their embarrassment.
Or at least he did until bootlegs of the film started doing the collectors circuit rounds a few years back,and now the film has finally received an authorised DVD release from Retromedia. Thankfully-given the overall quality of some of Retromedia's previous acquisitions-the DVD is nothing to be ashamed of. Extras include the Italian trailer and an audio commentary from Agrama and American B-movie mogul Fred Olen Ray. Agrama has some interesting tales to tell about the film's financing as well as Laurentiis lawsuits that hit the film and ironically prevented Queen Kong from playing anywhere but Laurentiis' native Italy. Unfortunately Agrama's memory gets somewhat clouded when it comes to remembering dates and actors. Which leaves aficionados of 1970's British exploitation films the legwork of identifying Queen Kong's support cast of secondary starlets including Virgin Witch star Vicky Michelle,Anna Bergman (Ingmar's daughter-nicknamed in one of her films that Viking bird') and Bergman's Come Play with Me co-star Marta Gillot among others. Also worth a tiny mention here in an early scene where Askwith tries to buy,but in the end just opts to steal,an original King Kong poster. This was shot at a movie nostalgia shop in Brewer Street that after more than 25 years looks pretty much the same. If you're ever in London the shop is well worth a visit (especially the dingy basement)although like Ray Fay before you,you might find their prices a little high. Wonder how much they'd sell a Queen Kong poster for?
Without a doubt,Britain's snobby film critics of the day would have made mince-meat out of Queen Kong had it ever seen the light of day back in the 1970's. Will today's audience react more favourably?-only time will tell. Certainly worse films have had a cult following built around them,but if all else fails the film provides its own fitting epitaph when at the height of all this long suppressed monkey business Askwith remarks we came to make a movie, but we've created a farce'.
Queen Kong is a film I'd long given up hope of ever seeing,now that I've seen it I've just given up hope. Jokingly aside viewing this long lost Italian financed,British shot monster spoof complete with Come Play with Me-like musical numbers the term jaw-dropping' seems to spring to mind. Dreamed up-no doubt after one too many Martinis-as a feminist' take on the original King Kong with all the male and female roles reversed,Queen Kong fell foul of producer Dino De Laurentiis who felt the film would bring shame on his $24 million dollar remake of King Kong. Why Queen Kong should be singled out for the lawsuit treatment is open to speculation-the film hardy stands alone what with the likes of A*P*E,The Mighty Peking Man and surely worse offender of them all Yeti-Giant of the 20th century all riding on the Kong bandwagon. What seems to have separated Queen Kong from the rest is that while all of the above have their fair share of unintentional hilarity,Queen Kong is meant to be a comedy right from the start and comes across as a merciless leg pull at the expense of the original King Kong and by association Laurentiis's remake. Ultimately Laurentiis and his lawyers were (mostly) successful in having the film suppressed-all that emerged in Britain was a tie-in novel meant to promote a film that was anything but coming soon'.
So the world was denied the exploits of feminist filmmaker Luce Habit (Rula Lenska)and wimpy hippy Ray Fay (Robin Askwith) who gets roped into becoming her new lead. The pair set sail for darkest Africa onboard Luce's boat (The Liberated Lady') which comes complete with an all singing,all dancing female crew. Arriving in Lazanga, where they do the konga' the liberated lady's crew come across a gorilla worshipping tribe lead by Valerie Leon (in what's essentially a reprise of her role in Carry on up the Jungle). Deciding that Ray would make a more fitting birthday present to their idol than the toothless wonder they had lined up,the tribe stuff Ray into a birthday cake and he's soon being whisked away by 64 foot gorilla Queen Kong who resembles a giant teddy bear with tits. In-between falling in love with Ray,Queen Kong has to fight off passing dinosaurs (it's a terrywotsit' cries Ray) in sequences that make it clear that wherever the purported $632,000 budget went, it certainly wasn't on the special effects. Sneaky Luce and her liberated ladies manage to snatch Ray back and the gorilla ends up chasing the cast through the jungle only to wind up captured and shipped off to London.
Silly,silly and did I mention silly. Under the direction of Egyptian Frank Agrama (best remembered for his 1981 gore opus Dawn of the Mummy'),Queen Kong seems to have been attempting to mine the same vein of Anglo-centric' humour popularised by Monty Python and The Goodies. Seen today through this feels more like a precursor to the anything goes Airplane' school of comedy,with too many visual gags to digest in one viewing and contemporary film parodies (Jaws,The Exorcist) thrown into this mixing bowl of the good, the mistimed and the cringe-worthy for good measure. Inevitably there's also an Airport parody where in what can hardly to described as a career highlight Linda Hayden plays a tuneless singing nun. The bad news is that as a comedy Queen Kong generally misses the mark,less genuinely funny the film has to settle for being entertaining in a what were they thinking' manner. The best way (and possibly the only way) to approach Queen Kong is like a big budget pantomime on film,in which a naggingly familiar cast of British comedy regulars gamely make fools of themselves solely for your amusement. At a preview screening a less-than-impressed Rula Lenska reportedly told Askwith that their careers would be a complete shambles if this were ever shown to the general public. And both probably breathed a sigh of quiet relief when Dino inadvertently stepped in to spare their embarrassment.
Or at least he did until bootlegs of the film started doing the collectors circuit rounds a few years back,and now the film has finally received an authorised DVD release from Retromedia. Thankfully-given the overall quality of some of Retromedia's previous acquisitions-the DVD is nothing to be ashamed of. Extras include the Italian trailer and an audio commentary from Agrama and American B-movie mogul Fred Olen Ray. Agrama has some interesting tales to tell about the film's financing as well as Laurentiis lawsuits that hit the film and ironically prevented Queen Kong from playing anywhere but Laurentiis' native Italy. Unfortunately Agrama's memory gets somewhat clouded when it comes to remembering dates and actors. Which leaves aficionados of 1970's British exploitation films the legwork of identifying Queen Kong's support cast of secondary starlets including Virgin Witch star Vicky Michelle,Anna Bergman (Ingmar's daughter-nicknamed in one of her films that Viking bird') and Bergman's Come Play with Me co-star Marta Gillot among others. Also worth a tiny mention here in an early scene where Askwith tries to buy,but in the end just opts to steal,an original King Kong poster. This was shot at a movie nostalgia shop in Brewer Street that after more than 25 years looks pretty much the same. If you're ever in London the shop is well worth a visit (especially the dingy basement)although like Ray Fay before you,you might find their prices a little high. Wonder how much they'd sell a Queen Kong poster for?
Without a doubt,Britain's snobby film critics of the day would have made mince-meat out of Queen Kong had it ever seen the light of day back in the 1970's. Will today's audience react more favourably?-only time will tell. Certainly worse films have had a cult following built around them,but if all else fails the film provides its own fitting epitaph when at the height of all this long suppressed monkey business Askwith remarks we came to make a movie, but we've created a farce'.
And I thought Konga was bad.
BA_Harrison26 January 2022
Purportedly, Queen Kong was never released theatrically in the US or the UK due to legal action from the owners of the copyright on King Kong, although I think the real reason for the film not seeing the light of day for several decades is simply that it is total crap. Who in their right mind would pay to see such garbage?
The film takes place in an alternate reality where women are the dominant sex. Robin Askwith, star of the Confessions movies, is petty thief Ray Fay, who is abducted by film-director Luce Habit (Rula Lenska), who wants him to play the lead role in her new movie. Sailing to the remote island of Lazonga Where They Do The Konga, Luce, Ray and the ship's all-female crew encounter a tribe of women (led by Carry On babe Valerie Leon) who intend to sacrifice Ray to their deity, a 64-foot tall ape called Queen Kong. To cut a far too long story short, the ape is captured, shipped to London, and escapes.
The infantile script for this grade Z clunker is packed with puerile gags and truly bizarre moments that make one wonder what kind of drugs were being passed around during its inception. And the fact that the cast were willing to go along with such inane nonsense suggests that the same drugs were freely available during shooting. Every joke tanks, with particularly dreadful parodies of recent blockbusters (Jaws and The Exorcist). Throw in some abysmal special effects and a couple of woeful musical numbers and what we have is quite possibly the worst movie I have ever seen. And I've watched a lot of cack in my time.
1/10
N. B. Linda Hayden, whose name appears on the poster, only appears in the film for about ten seconds, dressed from top to toe in a nun's habit and veil. If you seek this one out just for lovely Linda, prepare to be massively disappointed. And then some.
The film takes place in an alternate reality where women are the dominant sex. Robin Askwith, star of the Confessions movies, is petty thief Ray Fay, who is abducted by film-director Luce Habit (Rula Lenska), who wants him to play the lead role in her new movie. Sailing to the remote island of Lazonga Where They Do The Konga, Luce, Ray and the ship's all-female crew encounter a tribe of women (led by Carry On babe Valerie Leon) who intend to sacrifice Ray to their deity, a 64-foot tall ape called Queen Kong. To cut a far too long story short, the ape is captured, shipped to London, and escapes.
The infantile script for this grade Z clunker is packed with puerile gags and truly bizarre moments that make one wonder what kind of drugs were being passed around during its inception. And the fact that the cast were willing to go along with such inane nonsense suggests that the same drugs were freely available during shooting. Every joke tanks, with particularly dreadful parodies of recent blockbusters (Jaws and The Exorcist). Throw in some abysmal special effects and a couple of woeful musical numbers and what we have is quite possibly the worst movie I have ever seen. And I've watched a lot of cack in my time.
1/10
N. B. Linda Hayden, whose name appears on the poster, only appears in the film for about ten seconds, dressed from top to toe in a nun's habit and veil. If you seek this one out just for lovely Linda, prepare to be massively disappointed. And then some.
really stupid
trashgang23 June 2011
Frank Agrama, the director of this spoof on the King Kong theme is better known for his wildly searched horror of 1981 Dawn Of The Mummy. But before that he left us with this weird British remake of King Kong on a extreme low budget. Just look at Kong, just a man in a suit. And there is singing in it, there is a bit of inside jokes in it, this isn't a horror to be honest even as it is stated on the box, full uncut. But everything you see in the original King Kong they remade, the fight with the Tyrannosaurus Rex is unbelievable, it isn't done in stop motion but it's again, well, a man in a suit. But being so stupid and badly done you really want to see this cheesy piece of stupidity. The acting is okay, really, if you can catch this than you just wont believe that this kind of flick could be made in the seventies, really looks like a Carry On...but still, it's out there to be seen, well, see it.
Undemanding fun
Steamcarrot18 March 2007
Hidden away for many years, Queen Kong is finally gained a DVD release, probably to the embarrassment of the stars, but also to the joy of fans of low budget seventies comedy. The film follows the 1933 King Kong remarkably closely and has fun poking fun at many films of the time. The film is clearly not to be taken seriously and has it's tongue firmly embedded in it's cheeky cheek and is by no means difficult to sit through. The women's lib overtones are quite laughable though as there are plenty of scantily clad (no nudity though) females exploiting the gender and prancing around for the men of the audience to have a right good ogle. A lot of the jokes may be of the 'groan' variety but in my book there's no such thing as a bad pun. One particular scene that gave me a hearty chortle was where a priest on a plane decks an annoying lady passenger because of her annoying laughter, and the singing nun on the plane raised a smile too. Of course film snobs will poo-poo it as film snobs are want to do and that's fine. It's not a film made for them, but for those who like ever-so-slightly risqué knockabout farces will get a lot from it. And from a strictly male point of view, any film that has Valerie Leon in a skimpy bikini for the entire length of it has to add a little something. It also looks better than it should do really, even if the white cliffs of Dover are now to be found on the African coast.
Did everyone forget this was a spoof?
furanku-3273030 January 2024
I think everyone is missing the point of this movie. This was not a serious adventure film and shouldn't be judged as such...it's basically a MAD Magazine film spoof done in live action. There's hardly even a fourth wall. I was never bored and laughed at the stupidity. Maybe you have to be older to get all the dumb jokes...."It's all teeth, just like Jimmy Carter" probably goes right over the heads of most people. Yes, it's a bit racist and sexist, but it was the 1970's. You might as well complain that Spaceballs wasn't actually Star Wars. It's charming and fun, and I can't believe no one else is seeing it for what it is...a dumb spoof.
Queen Kong and zero spoilers (I think)
cayotica5 September 2017
Warning: Spoilers
To say Queen Kong is campy is an understatement. Some might say they spared no expense on special effects for the movie but l say they they spent no expense on the special effects. Be prepared for more stock footage, rip offs of popular movies and the worse script and directing since Ed Wood Jr.'s "Plan 9 From Outer Space" Why did I give it 7 stars you might ask? Because I absolutely loved everything Ed Wood Jr. made. In the end it's a pretty good spoof of King Kong when you consider all the indignities thrust upon poor Kong since the big ape's first appearance on the silver screen.
Yes, It Really Is That Bad
Michael_Elliott4 October 2017
Queen Kong (1976)
BOMB (out of 4)
A tough female director is in the tough jungle with her tough female crew when the latest actor quits. She's able to find a man (Robin Askwith) who takes the lead role but once in the jungle the crew runs into a giant female ape. Sure enough, the ape falls for the man.
QUEEN KONG is a British production that was meant to try and make fun of the Dino De Laurentiis film KING KONG. This wasn't just your typical rip-off but the film also tried to be something like Monty Python and to say it failed would be an understatement. If you read around for reviews you'll see that there are many people out there who hate it like me. However, I think some of the reviews were quite unfair. As awful as the movie is I'd argue that it was at least semi well-made and it at least wasn't on the same level as something from Jerry Warren.
With that said, it was quite torturous to sit through this film because of how unfunny it is. I mean, there wasn't a single time throughout the film where I even cracked a smile. The worst thing about the movie is the fact that it's so darn annoying and that's especially true for the lead actor who is given some of the worst one-liners that you're ever going to hear. I'm not sure what type of drugs were being passed around by the screenwriters but whatever lines they wrote that they thought was funny just didn't come across on the screen.
Even with the comedy being so awful one would wish that they could at least have some fun with the monsters but that's not the case either. They all look incredibly cheap and awful but to be fair they're really no better or worse than the majority of the Godzilla movies that were made earlier in the decade. QUEEN KONG has an awful reputation and it really deserves it. The entire idea just really blows up in the viewers face and they're left with a really challenging movie to get through.
BOMB (out of 4)
A tough female director is in the tough jungle with her tough female crew when the latest actor quits. She's able to find a man (Robin Askwith) who takes the lead role but once in the jungle the crew runs into a giant female ape. Sure enough, the ape falls for the man.
QUEEN KONG is a British production that was meant to try and make fun of the Dino De Laurentiis film KING KONG. This wasn't just your typical rip-off but the film also tried to be something like Monty Python and to say it failed would be an understatement. If you read around for reviews you'll see that there are many people out there who hate it like me. However, I think some of the reviews were quite unfair. As awful as the movie is I'd argue that it was at least semi well-made and it at least wasn't on the same level as something from Jerry Warren.
With that said, it was quite torturous to sit through this film because of how unfunny it is. I mean, there wasn't a single time throughout the film where I even cracked a smile. The worst thing about the movie is the fact that it's so darn annoying and that's especially true for the lead actor who is given some of the worst one-liners that you're ever going to hear. I'm not sure what type of drugs were being passed around by the screenwriters but whatever lines they wrote that they thought was funny just didn't come across on the screen.
Even with the comedy being so awful one would wish that they could at least have some fun with the monsters but that's not the case either. They all look incredibly cheap and awful but to be fair they're really no better or worse than the majority of the Godzilla movies that were made earlier in the decade. QUEEN KONG has an awful reputation and it really deserves it. The entire idea just really blows up in the viewers face and they're left with a really challenging movie to get through.
Funny stuff. (spoilers ahead)
ultramatt2000-111 August 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Yes this film exists. It is a parody of the 1933 version. When Dino Delaurentis saw that movie he sued him because he thought it was a parody of his multi million dollar remake, but it was a spoof of the 30's version. The gender tables are switched. There are plenty of gags. It is gagful. It had some British humor. The film offended blacks and gays for some reason, and that's why it wasn't released! I like that film, if this film was released at the same time as Dino Delaurentis' remake, everybody would go for that film. There are dinosaurs in this film, a T-Rex with jaws that sound like a squeaking door and a pterodactyl with a hook for a leg. The Big Ben gets climbed on, but unlike all the other Kong films, there is no blood and gore. She doesn't get shot down, she climbs down the Big Ben after Ray Fay tells the oppressed women of London to get freedom. Women's liberation was big back then! Other references apart from AIRPORT (1970), JAWS (1975), and THE EXORCIST (1973), was Andy Capp; a British comic strip. Other films Frank Agrama made was DAWN OF THE MUMMY (1980), and he was the producer for THE LOST WORLD (1992). Rated PG-13 for language, comic violence, nudity, sexual innuendo and thematic elements.
"Don't Worry! I'm A Woman! I'll Protect You!"...
azathothpwiggins13 August 2021
Movie director, Luce Habit (Rula Lenzka) needs a leading man for her latest epic. She discovers Ray Fay (Robin Askwith), drugs him (!), and whisks him away from London to Lazanga. With her all-female crew, Luce is all set for filming.
Native troubles, the entrance of the titular beast, and general idiocy ensue.
QUEEN KONG is -obviously- a British parody of its male counterpart. For a comedy, it suffers from a dire lack of any real humor. It's peppered with antiquated, anything-but-funny "jokes" that couldn't possibly have elicited laughs, even in 1976! It's sort of like a really long, completely awful episode of The Benny Hill Show.
Yes, there are bikini-clad dancing girls.
This could possibly be the most inane, eye-gouging-ly dull movie to ever come out of the UK!
In addition to the "monster" of the title we also get a woman-eating rose bush, and a man in a cardboard dinosaur costume.
For his part, Askwith seems to be having a blast, like he does in all of his movies. His Mick Jagger / Brian Jones-hybrid look and goofy persona are always likeable. It's just not enough to salvage this saggy saga.
Good luck with this bowl of rotten bananas!...
Native troubles, the entrance of the titular beast, and general idiocy ensue.
QUEEN KONG is -obviously- a British parody of its male counterpart. For a comedy, it suffers from a dire lack of any real humor. It's peppered with antiquated, anything-but-funny "jokes" that couldn't possibly have elicited laughs, even in 1976! It's sort of like a really long, completely awful episode of The Benny Hill Show.
Yes, there are bikini-clad dancing girls.
This could possibly be the most inane, eye-gouging-ly dull movie to ever come out of the UK!
In addition to the "monster" of the title we also get a woman-eating rose bush, and a man in a cardboard dinosaur costume.
For his part, Askwith seems to be having a blast, like he does in all of his movies. His Mick Jagger / Brian Jones-hybrid look and goofy persona are always likeable. It's just not enough to salvage this saggy saga.
Good luck with this bowl of rotten bananas!...
Funny feminist spoof of "King Kong"
gridoon20244 August 2019
Warning: Spoilers
This feminist spoof of "King Kong" (with jabs thrown at "The Exorcist", "Jaws" and "Airport" along the way) reverses the gender of the main characters, re-locates the second half of the action to London, and has a happy ending, but otherwise follows the story of the original quite closely! The optical effects & miniatures are actually better than they need to be for this kind of film, and Rula Lenska gives a very good deadpan performance. The film is bizarre, goofy, and kinda cute. **1/2 out of 4.
The ultimate feminist monster movie? / I actually like this a lot!
liersvlaaitje15 July 2007
Warning: Spoilers
OK,I purchased this on a Dutch r2 DVD cheap,I heard a lot of comments about saying it had been forced out of circulation in the 70's and it wasn't very good.So i sat down and gave it a chance. Since this is British,the action takes place in London (fun) and also on "the island" (ok).First up having Robin Askwith in it helps a lot,he's one of my favorite British actors from around that time.He has that sort of hippie charm i guess.The lovely Rula Lenska (redheads rule) really does a good job here too and it includes a lot more beautiful girls (I know i'm a chauvinist pig!).After a short intro establishing the character Rule lenska plays (the director),the action starts in the streets of London (Portobello road) and swiftly moves to "the island" where the film slows down a bit,but quickly picks up again shortly after (Queenie fighting the monsters) and we actually get to see the transport to London (for a bit). As soon as Queenie arrives there the fun really starts and the action picks up considerably...AND we get a happy end for a change! Incredibly this movie is over the top feminist stuff (all firmly tongue in cheek) ... and I especially like the relationship between Queenie and the Robin Askwith character.Like i said the tone is very feminist and the strange character Robin plays in this has nothing of a "real man" with his girlie clothes and robes and gentle ways,really refreshing lol...The humor is typical British madness of that time,a bit hit and miss but generally not bad,I found myself laughing out loud several times.It's good trashy fun.Another thing...I really liked the songs in this movie,fun stuff! Overall a movie I'll cherish in my collection and that deserves and will be getting repeated viewing.I like! Oh I almost forgot,it also offers some good new ideas concerning Kong here (like having the 2 "lovers" get into a fight in the apartment building and Queenie coming to the rescue)! Final thoughts:I wonder if this was Italian,would it have more fans?
See also
Awards | FAQ | User Ratings | External Reviews | Metacritic Reviews
