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15 reviews in total

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11 out of 15 people found the following review useful:
Queen Kong Should be sprung from the vault and released properly, 11 February 2001

Author: BritTVFilmfan (jameswillis@sympatico.ca) from Toronto, Canada

The film stars Robin Askwith as Ray Fay, Rula Lenska's character (a film director) is called Luce Habit. There's a few other recognizable actors in the film, well I recognized them - Carol Drinkwater (The first Mrs.Herriot from the BBC TV series All Creatures Great & Small)), Robin worked with the second Mrs.Herriot Linda Bellingham in "Driving Instructor" so I guess Robin and Christopher Timothy have something in common (though I doubt Robin had an affair with Drinkwater), the other recognizable actors are Valerie Leon of Carry On fame, and Linda Hayden in a cameo role playing a Singing Nun.

Here's the plot - Luce is filming in the jungle, her lead actor can't handle the riggers of the job and storms out of the camp, which is appropriate because he plays a "Camp" character. So Luce goes to London searching for a new male lead, "he has to be gentle yet strong and manly", guess who she picks. Luce drugs Ray and takes him to the jungle Island Lazanga "where they do the Conga" to finish her film. While filming of course they discover a village of maidens led by Valerie Leon as the Bikini clad High Priestess, of course they decide Ray a perfect sacrifice for Queen Kong, so they capture him and leave him on a giant table inside a cake for Queen Kong to eat. Of course Queen Kong doesn't eat Ray, but she does fall in love with him. The rest of the story is pretty much like the original King Kong, they take Queen Kong to England and all hell breaks loose.

The opening credits song for Queen Kong has to be heard to be believed, here's the lyrics - Queen Kong, Queen Kong Queen Kong is the chick with all the hair Queen Kong comes from I don't know where Kong Kong Kong Kong Kong Kong Queen Queen Queen Queen Queen, Queen Kong She's a Queenie who aint weenie She's a Queenie Queenie Queenie for my weenie When I'm feeling mighty spunky I want to do it with my hunky monkey Queenie Queenie Queenie Queenie, Queen Kong Kong Kong Kong Kong, Queen Kong

Queen Kong is riddled with bad jokes, but Robin & Rula deliver them without batting an eyelid, here's one of the early ones in the film that made me cringe, Robin's begging for a joint from some hippies - "Hey man have you got a joint, come on just let me have one please, I won't bother you again" the Hippie says "know man you're always after a joint, you say just one, but you keep coming back for more, beat it man, I said beat it man" Robin says " I tried beating it, but the Pope said it was wrong". Here's one of Rula's, Robin says " look at that great wall, what lies behind that great wall" Rula's reply "the Chinese have always lied behind the great wall"

The special effects for Queen Kong (if you can call them special) are terrible, they quite fit the film though, I have a feeling they're extra lo w budget on purpose.

OK, I liked the film, it kinda had the same feel as a Leslie Nielson "Naked Gun" film, and there's a link, the Queen impersonator in the first Naked Gun movie also appears in Queen Kong. Queen Kong definitely deserves to be taken from the vault and released properly, I would love to one day own a special edition widescreen version on DVD, with a commentary by Robin and Rula, but that'll probably never happen. But hey! Tim Burtons doing a remake of Planet Of The Apes, maybe with all the monkey hype that's going to be hitting us next year, someone might figure let's cash in, just a fantasy I know.

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7 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
An immense let-down, 26 February 2004

Author: (stevenfallonnyc@yahoo.com) from NYC

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

"Queen Kong" from 1976 is a film I always wanted to see ever since I first heard of its existence, around 1978 or so. Being a lifelong fan of all things "giant monster destroys things" (especially Godzilla) I began a lifelong search to find this on bootleg. Incredibly, despite most other things turning up eventually, this never surfaced.

I learned a bit more about it over the years, like that it actually was released in a small amount of theaters abroad, being pulled almost immediately. I met some other monster fans over the years who also were searching for this film but to no avail.

So when I heard that "Queen Kong" was actually going to get a DVD release, I was pretty happy. Other giant ape movies from the 70's were released on DVD, like The Mighty Peking Man (a.k.a. Goliathon) and A.P.E., so I felt this was deserved. I was psyched on finally seeing, after 25 years or so, what this film was about.

Well, to put it mildly, this film is garbage. It is complete, utter crap. It's not even "so bad it is good" like say, "Robot Monster." This film is horrid because it doesn't have a clue: it's totally void of any heart, wit, or charm. And you need at least two of those to make an entertaining "bad" movie.

The shame of it all is that the premise has a lot of potential, to make a feminist "King Kong." In the hands of filmmakers who actually knew what they were doing, the idea may have had a chance.

The first 30 minutes of this film is so unbelievably mind-numbing, it just seems like someone took an expensive camera in the backyard and started filming. Now normally, that sounds like the making of a "so bad it's good" film, but again, no charm, wit or heart, so the film doesn't work on any level. Nothing happens in the first 30 minutes at all - it literally is a complete waste of time.

30 minutes in, Queen Kong finally shows up, and after some extremely poor scenes, 20 minutes later (yes, just 20 minutes later) Queen kong is en route to London, having been captured. In London, after Queen Kong escapes what looks like a big outdoor dinner party, she then goes to Big Ben (after about 5 seconds of fun model work and the rest, horrible model work), climbs up, and battles helicopters. The male substitute for Fay Wray makes a speech over a copter's PA about feminism, and it ends soon after.

Again, there isn;t a trace of wit, cleverness, heart, or charm in this totally bland take on the "King Kong" legend. It's hard to even laugh at the brief monster battles because of the lack of these things. Dino DeLaurentes (sp), who made 1976's "King Kong" and forced this out of the theaters, had nothing to worry about really - word of mouth would have killed this off within days. In comparison to the other "Kong" rip-offs of the day I mentioned, "The Mighty Peking Man" is so vastly superior to this it boggles the mind, and even the poor "A.P.E." is so far ahead of this dreck. And don't even think about comparing this to any Godzilla film - the worst Godzilla film looks like Gone With The Wind next to "Queen Kong."

The one lone good thing about "Queen Kong" is that the girls are all very pretty and beautiful. And 1976 beautiful is pretty hot. The fact that they bothered to get good looking girls is at least a little something to the filmmaker's credit. If you can get hold of the film's trailer without buying the DVD, all the FX shots you'd be interested in seeing are mostly in there. There's no need at all to watch anything but the trailer. One day I'll listen to the director's commentary, just out of morbid curiosity.

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7 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
Quite Possibly the Worst....Of All.....Ever., 9 June 2006

Author: dmc102 from Belfast, Northern Ireland

Never has a film contained so much embarrassment. Not only on the part of the directors, producers, writers and actors, but on the person who has accidentally been duped into watching it. Perhaps the first thing I should say is that I watch bad movies - BAD movies - all the time. They don't phase me, I can sometimes see things in bad films that others can't. Maybe those things aren't there. Either way, bad movies get a lot of bad rep.

Farouk (Frank) Agrama's 1976 atrocity, Queen Kong, is almost certainly the worst film I have ever seen. Worse than Plan 9. Worse than Raiders of the Living Dead. Worse than Bride of the Monster. It is about 750 billion times worse than the Dino DeLaurentiis remake of King Kong and about 984 billion times worse than Peter Jackson's over-long take on the story.

Frankly, this film was doomed from the start. It was produced by Harmony Gold, a typically useless independent company (though they managed to drag themselves out of the gutter in the 80's and are now quite reputable). The writers/producers Ronald Dobrin (Robin Dobria) and Farouk Agrama (Frank Agrama) have assembled one of the worst casts, constructed THE worst ape suit and hired the least skilled effects technicians. The result is, as you can imagine, not pretty.

Much of the film takes place in Lazanga (where they do the Konga...apparently) though you would be forgiven for mistaking it for the English countryside. Combined with the bottom rate acting of Robin Askwith (better know for "Confessions of a Window Cleaner" which is hardly Citizen Kane) and the obviously embarrassed Rula Lenska, this is indeed a depressing affair. The utterly ridiculous ape suit is beyond laughable - much like the film itself - it is just depressing.

As the location moves to London (which recreates the theater scene from the 1933 King Kong in a cheaply designed open air setup) the script descends even further and the production values crash and burn. Surprisingly, it isn't the first time London has been ravaged by a giant ape (see 1961's KONGA) but it IS the first time the ape has looked so unconvincing. Cue cut scenes of postcard London landmarks and a dire-straits intimate moment between Queen Kong and Ray Fay (like Fay Wray - geddit?). Before you know it the film is over and you have lost 90 minutes of you life.

If you want to see a bad film, watch Agrama's 1980 effort (Dawn Of The Mummy) and avoid this one. It is beyond being simple 'bad', it is a crime against cinema (it seems that Paramount Pictures agreed, they attempted to sue Harmony Gold in 1976). This film is also guilty of theft. It WILL steal 90 minutes from you which you WON'T get back. Go ahead, call the police, they won't be interested! Do yourself a favour. Don't. Just don't.

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2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Huh???, 10 July 2005

Author: bensonmum2 from Tennessee

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

- The less said about this steaming pile of dung, the better. It's hard to imagine that someone actually put up the money to finance this. What was the pitch? "Oh, we're making a King Kong spoof with women in all the roles previously done by men. And instead of Fay Wray, we're going to put a man in that role. And, here's the best part, his character's name is Ray Fay!" I'll never understand how anyone could find any of this remotely entertaining. It's meant to be funny, but none of the jokes work. Add to that some of the worst song and dance numbers ever filmed and Queen Kong becomes one of the worst films I've ever seen.

- But, I can't rate it a 1/10. I have to give it a point just for the casting of Valerie Leon.

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4 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
Long suppressed Monkey Business or Adventures of a Gorilla's mate., 6 May 2003
Author: gavcrimson from United Kingdom

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

SPOILERS INCLUDED

Queen Kong is a film I'd long given up hope of ever seeing,now that I've seen it I've just given up hope. Jokingly aside viewing this long lost Italian financed,British shot monster spoof complete with Come Play with Me-like musical numbers the term ‘jaw-dropping' seems to spring to mind. Dreamed up-no doubt after one too many Martinis-as a ‘feminist' take on the original King Kong with all the male and female roles reversed,Queen Kong fell foul of producer Dino De Laurentiis who felt the film would bring shame on his $24 million dollar remake of King Kong. Why Queen Kong should be singled out for the lawsuit treatment is open to speculation-the film hardy stands alone what with the likes of A*P*E,The Mighty Peking Man and surely worse offender of them all Yeti-Giant of the 20th century all riding on the Kong bandwagon. What seems to have separated Queen Kong from the rest is that while all of the above have their fair share of unintentional hilarity,Queen Kong is meant to be a comedy right from the start and comes across as a merciless leg pull at the expense of the original King Kong and by association Laurentiis's remake. Ultimately Laurentiis and his lawyers were (mostly) successful in having the film suppressed-all that emerged in Britain was a tie-in novel meant to promote a film that was anything but ‘coming soon'.

So the world was denied the exploits of feminist filmmaker Luce Habit (Rula Lenska)and wimpy hippy Ray Fay (Robin Askwith) who gets roped into becoming her new lead. The pair set sail for darkest Africa onboard Luce's boat (‘The Liberated Lady') which comes complete with an all singing,all dancing female crew. Arriving in ‘Lazanga, where they do the konga' the liberated lady's crew come across a gorilla worshipping tribe lead by Valerie Leon (in what's essentially a reprise of her role in Carry on up the Jungle). Deciding that Ray would make a more fitting birthday present to their idol than the toothless wonder they had lined up,the tribe stuff Ray into a birthday cake and he's soon being whisked away by 64 foot gorilla Queen Kong who resembles a giant teddy bear with tits. In-between falling in love with Ray,Queen Kong has to fight off passing dinosaurs (‘it's a terrywotsit' cries Ray) in sequences that make it clear that wherever the purported $632,000 budget went, it certainly wasn't on the special effects. Sneaky Luce and her liberated ladies manage to snatch Ray back and the gorilla ends up chasing the cast through the jungle only to wind up captured and shipped off to London.

Silly,silly and did I mention silly. Under the direction of Egyptian Frank Agrama (best remembered for his 1981 gore opus ‘Dawn of the Mummy'),Queen Kong seems to have been attempting to mine the same vein of ‘Anglo-centric' humour popularised by Monty Python and The Goodies. Seen today through this feels more like a precursor to the anything goes ‘Airplane' school of comedy,with too many visual gags to digest in one viewing and contemporary film parodies (Jaws,The Exorcist) thrown into this mixing bowl of the good, the mistimed and the cringe-worthy for good measure. Inevitably there's also an Airport parody where in what can hardly to described as a career highlight Linda Hayden plays a tuneless singing nun. The bad news is that as a comedy Queen Kong generally misses the mark,less genuinely funny the film has to settle for being entertaining in a ‘what were they thinking' manner. The best way (and possibly the only way) to approach Queen Kong is like a big budget pantomime on film,in which a naggingly familiar cast of British comedy regulars gamely make fools of themselves solely for your amusement. At a preview screening a less-than-impressed Rula Lenska reportedly told Askwith that their careers would be a complete shambles if this were ever shown to the general public. And both probably breathed a sigh of quiet relief when Dino inadvertently stepped in to spare their embarrassment.

Or at least he did until bootlegs of the film started doing the collectors circuit rounds a few years back,and now the film has finally received an authorised DVD release from Retromedia. Thankfully-given the overall quality of some of Retromedia's previous acquisitions-the DVD is nothing to be ashamed of. Extras include the Italian trailer and an audio commentary from Agrama and American B-movie mogul Fred Olen Ray. Agrama has some interesting tales to tell about the film's financing as well as Laurentiis lawsuits that hit the film and ironically prevented Queen Kong from playing anywhere but Laurentiis' native Italy. Unfortunately Agrama's memory gets somewhat clouded when it comes to remembering dates and actors. Which leaves aficionados of 1970's British exploitation films the legwork of identifying Queen Kong's support cast of secondary starlets including Virgin Witch star Vicky Michelle,Anna Bergman (Ingmar's daughter-nicknamed in one of her films ‘that Viking bird') and Bergman's Come Play with Me co-star Marta Gillot among others. Also worth a tiny mention here in an early scene where Askwith tries to buy,but in the end just opts to steal,an original King Kong poster. This was shot at a movie nostalgia shop in Brewer Street that after more than 25 years looks pretty much the same. If you're ever in London the shop is well worth a visit (especially the dingy basement)although like Ray Fay before you,you might find their prices a little high. Wonder how much they'd sell a Queen Kong poster for?

Without a doubt,Britain's snobby film critics of the day would have made mince-meat out of Queen Kong had it ever seen the light of day back in the 1970's. Will today's audience react more favourably?-only time will tell. Certainly worse films have had a cult following built around them,but if all else fails the film provides its own fitting epitaph when at the height of all this long suppressed monkey business Askwith remarks ‘we came to make a movie, but we've created a farce'.

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really stupid, 23 June 2011

Author: trashgang from Midian

Frank Agrama, the director of this spoof on the King Kong theme is better known for his wildly searched horror of 1981 Dawn Of The Mummy. But before that he left us with this weird British remake of King Kong on a extreme low budget. Just look at Kong, just a man in a suit. And there is singing in it, there is a bit of inside jokes in it, this isn't a horror to be honest even as it is stated on the box, full uncut. But everything you see in the original King Kong they remade, the fight with the Tyrannosaurus Rex is unbelievable, it isn't done in stop motion but it's again, well, a man in a suit. But being so stupid and badly done you really want to see this cheesy piece of stupidity. The acting is okay, really, if you can catch this than you just wont believe that this kind of flick could be made in the seventies, really looks like a Carry On...but still, it's out there to be seen, well, see it.

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2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
God, 13 December 2007

Author: troycannell from Northampton, United Kingdom

One of the worst films ever.......... I wanted to smash my telly in within ten minutes then i decided, it cant get any worse, until the islanders started chanting on the boat. It really is the worst film ever. You should get it just so you can experience the monstrosity of this movie.

Every thing about this film is awful. The acting is pretty damn awful, it really is bad. I can not stress how bad this movie is I really can't.

There is no word for what I think about this. Queen Kong is just evil and I mean evil, I want to get King Kong to fight Queen the we would have a good movie.

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4 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
Better than the 1976 remake of King Kong, 25 April 2005

Author: dbborroughs from Glen Cove, New York

This gender bent spoof of King Kong was hard to see until the advent of DVD. Thats a shame because its better than the film that producers of the remake of King Kong unleashed on the unsuspecting world. Having not pretense at being anything other than a send up this film lets it all go in what is mostly a good but really dumb comedy. The problem with the film is that even at a running time of around 80 minutes this movie is way too long. There is only enough material to sustain a 20 minute short and its stretched to fill a feature. The lack of material leaves many dead spots and allows for some really bad material to creep in. Had this been shorter it would have been better (say as a sketch on SNL), but as it stands now its a very interesting side note to the debacle that was the 1976 King Kong remake.

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0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
A Steaming Pile of Apeshit, 30 May 2009

Author: OChrist from Hollywood, CA

As a tot in 1976, I remember seeing blurbs and photos from this in "Famous Monsters of Filmland" and "The Monster Times", and then hearing it had been suppressed by Dino DeLaurentiis. I grew up imagining a cheeky, raunchy, hip spoof and now, finally, over 32 years later, I feel compelled to report QUEEN KONG is the worst movie I've ever endured, and that includes MYRA BRECKINRIDGE (and JUNO). Smug, ghastly cheap (what the hell did they spend the 632K budget on, exactly?!), laugh-free, irritating to the point of nausea, its 84 minutes feel like hours. There's not enough material here to sustain a two-minute sketch in the worst KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE knock-off you could ever imagine, and I would like to personally test anyone who finds this entertaining for developmental disabilities. It makes Dino's KONG look like the 1933 original and should be avoided at any price. I would rather sit through two semesters of trigonometry, go without sex for six months, and endure a jalapeno enema than have to view this again. It's really that bad.

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1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
The ultimate feminist monster movie? / I actually like this a lot!, 15 July 2007

Author: liersvlaaitje from Belgium

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

OK,I purchased this on a Dutch r2 DVD cheap,I heard a lot of comments about saying it had been forced out of circulation in the 70's and it wasn't very good.So i sat down and gave it a chance. Since this is British,the action takes place in London (fun) and also on "the island" (ok).First up having Robin Askwith in it helps a lot,he's one of my favorite British actors from around that time.He has that sort of hippie charm i guess.The lovely Rula Lenska (redheads rule) really does a good job here too and it includes a lot more beautiful girls (I know i'm a chauvinist pig!).After a short intro establishing the character Rule lenska plays (the director),the action starts in the streets of London (Portobello road) and swiftly moves to "the island" where the film slows down a bit,but quickly picks up again shortly after (Queenie fighting the monsters) and we actually get to see the transport to London (for a bit). As soon as Queenie arrives there the fun really starts and the action picks up considerably...AND we get a happy end for a change! Incredibly this movie is over the top feminist stuff (all firmly tongue in cheek) ... and I especially like the relationship between Queenie and the Robin Askwith character.Like i said the tone is very feminist and the strange character Robin plays in this has nothing of a "real man" with his girlie clothes and robes and gentle ways,really refreshing lol...The humor is typical British madness of that time,a bit hit and miss but generally not bad,I found myself laughing out loud several times.It's good trashy fun.Another thing...I really liked the songs in this movie,fun stuff! Overall a movie I'll cherish in my collection and that deserves and will be getting repeated viewing.I like! Oh I almost forgot,it also offers some good new ideas concerning Kong here (like having the 2 "lovers" get into a fight in the apartment building and Queenie coming to the rescue)! Final thoughts:I wonder if this was Italian,would it have more fans?

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