Laverne & Shirley (1976–1983)
Cindy Williams: Shirley Feeney
Photos
Quotes
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Shirley Feeney : Laverne, I'm telling you, flying is safer than driving! Nobody has ever crashed into a cloud!
Laverne De Fazio : Yeah well nobody ever fell 40,000 feet from a DeSoto either.
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Shirley Feeney : Laverne...
Laverne De Fazio : Hmm?
Shirley Feeney : I just thought of something awful.
Laverne De Fazio : What?
Shirley Feeney : Some day, God willing, I'm gonna be a mother. And if my daughter comes to me and says, Mama, I want to go to this bachelor party and come outta this cake... what can I tell her?
Laverne De Fazio : A lot more than most mothers!
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Shirley Feeney , Laverne De Fazio : [first lines in opening sequence, in the style of a jump-rope or hopscotch chant] One, two, three, four! Five, six, seven, eight! Schlemiel! Shlimazl! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!
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Squiggy : Can we borrow your sheets?
Laverne De Fazio : Oh God, no.
Shirley Feeney : Why do you wanna borrow our sheets?
Squiggy : Well, we have a couple of gorgeous chickaroonies coming over tonight for dinner and crackers, and we kind of like to get to first base with them.
Leonard 'Lenny' Kosnowski : We figure some clean sheets will bring 'em over the old goal line.
Laverne De Fazio : What's the matter with your own sheets?
Squiggy : They're hard.
[Laverne and Shirley show shocked and disgusted reactions]
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Shirley Feeney : What did you call that woman again?
Laverne De Fazio : Banana-face.
Shirley Feeney : People do not like to be called fruit!
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Rosie Greenbaum : Shirley, is that the sexiest thing you have to wear?
Shirley Feeney : Is there something wrong with this?
Rosie Greenbaum : Shirley, Shirley, ya gotta advertise a little! Put the goods in the window! That's what Big Rosie does.
Laverne De Fazio : Oh yeah? I always thought ya put 'em right out on the street.
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Shirley Feeney : Laverne! The only kinda parties we've ever been to are bring your own!
Laverne De Fazio : I like bringin' my own... then I know what I'm gettin'.
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Shirley Feeney : I do NOT vo-dee-oh-doh-doh!
Laverne De Fazio : You vo-dee-OH...
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Carmine Ragusa : I once met Eddie Fisher!
Shirley Feeney : Oh really? And just what was his excuse for breaking poor Debbie's heart?
Carmine Ragusa : I don't really know. I gave him the towel, he gave me the quarter and that was it!
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[repeated line]
Shirley Feeney : Don't you *ever* do that again!
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Shirley Feeney : I feel worlds better.
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[repeated line]
Shirley Feeney : Laveeerne...