The Chastity Belt (1972)

Frankie Howerd: Richard, Lurkalot

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Lurkalot is making up some potion in his Laboratory as he speaks to the naive, mentally deficient Knot Weed De Custard] 

  Knotweed : [pointing]  What's that?

  Lurkalot : That is my latest batch of home made Aphrodisiac.

  Knotweed : Well. What's that?

  Lurkalot : Aphrodisiac? Well it you know. Gets you going.

  Knotweed : Going where?

  Lurkalot : Look. This is for people you see who want to, but they can't. And they take some of this you see, and they can. Like Rattlesnakes.

  Knotweed : Do What?

  Lurkalot : [exasperated]  Rattle.

• Lurkalot : Unclean!

  [Addressing the camera] 

  Lurkalot : Well let's face it - it has been up to now!

• [Lurkalot is warning Lady Ashfordel of the severity of Sir Braggart's intentions towards Lady Lobelia] 

  Lurkalot : Besides Sir Braggart will be gross mispleased when he finds out your daughter Lobelia is not Chaste. Well she is. But she falls down a lot. Even now she lies with the woodman.

  Lady Asfordel : That's not true. He merely went up to stoke her fire.

  Lurkalot : Well. That's one way of putting it.

• [Knotweed is clearly impressed with the bold, if camp, Merry Men of Sherwwod Forest] 

  Knotweed : Aren't they magnificent. You know Lurkalot I must confess I'm bent on joining them.

  Lurkalot : I've got a feeling you'll have to be.

• Knotweed : [to Sir Coward]  This doesn't sound like you at all!

  Lurkalot : [Leans closer to Sir Coward, and pulls a hookah from under the cloak]  I thought so! He's been smoking this all the way home!

• [Lurkalot is reciting the final part of the movies opening prologue] 

  Lurkalot : And so they made me a serf, a servant. And they named me Lurklalot. Because I do.

• Sir Coward : [Spotting Knotweed among the Merry Men]  You're not one of them are you?

  Lurkalot : If he's not, he soon will be!

• Lurkalot : Lurkalot

  [as a wild choreographed fight breaks out] 

  Lurkalot : [to audience]  Well, you can't say you're not getting your money's worth!