The Queen of England gives birth to twins. In order to protect the blood line one is kept and the other hidden in a pig sty and is raised to think it's mother is the pig. Lurkalot is the one raised by pigs who doesn't know his past. He makes a good living as a servant, selling chastity belts on the side. When his master's castle is lost to Sir Braggart de Bombast, Lurkalot must fight to protect his daughter, eventually travelling to the missions to bring back his master. On the mission he uncovers that his twin is Richard the Lionheart and he is of Royal stock and must bring them both back. Written by
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[Lurkalot is warning Lady Ashfordel of the severity of Sir Braggart's intentions towards Lady Lobelia
Besides Sir Braggart will be gross mispleased when he finds out your daughter Lobelia is not Chaste. Well she is. But she falls down a lot. Even now she lies with the woodman.
That's not true. He merely went up to stoke her fire.
Well. That's one way of putting it.
Followed by Up Pompeii
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