Bedazzled (1967)

Eleanor Bron: Margaret

Photos 

Quotes 

• Stanley Moon : [after having been transformed into a nun]  I love you, Margaret.

  Margaret Spencer : And I love you, Sister Luna.

• [reading Stanley's suicide note] 

  Margaret Spencer : "Dear Miss Spencer, This is just to say cheerio. Yours Sincerely, Stanley Moon. P.S.: I leave you my collection of moths."

• Insp. Reg Clarke : Can you remember your exact last words to him?

  Margaret Spencer : I think it was "Wimpy Burgers twice, 1 MR, 1 well, heavy on the onions".

• Margaret Spencer : Who's George?

  Stanley Moon : He's the Devil. He's not so bad once you get to know his problems.

• Stanley Moon : if you were a girl - which, of course, you are - and if I were a man, which, for argument's sake, let's say I am, and I wanted to touch you, well - I wouldn't feel restrained. I mean, I'd just go right ahead - and - touch you. You see? That's - that's how I am.

  Margaret Spencer : I feel the same way. I mean, if two adult human beings want to touch each other, they should go ahead and touch each other. Why hold back?

• Stanley Moon : The incredible thing about the Italians, you know, is the way they touch each other. Have you noticed that?

  Margaret Spencer : Yes. Cheers.

  Stanley Moon : The Anglo-Saxons have lost the art of touching each other. I mean, if someone wants to touch somebody else then they should go right ahead and touch them. I mean, it's a healthy, human thing to do.

  Margaret Spencer : Y-You're so right. There's a tribe in - in Africa who never say a word. They just touch each other. That's how they communicate.

  Stanley Moon : Life is far too complicated. I think we should get down to basic elements.

• Stanley Moon : As Rousseau said, we must learn to unlearn - because only by unlearning can we really learn to be.

  Margaret Spencer : Your ideas are so exciting!

• Margaret Spencer : This afternoon has been so perfect. The Cinzano. The zoo.

  Stanley Moon : The music. The touching.

  Margaret Spencer : You're so right about the animals. I mean, that's what we are deep down, underneath our sophisticated civilization and we should behave like they do.

  Stanley Moon : Of course. I mean, the fact that it's seven minutes past three in the afternoon wouldn't make any difference to a goat. I mean, Old Billy wouldn't stop to think what time of day it was, would he?

  Margaret Spencer : No, it just goes right ahead and does what it feels like. I mean, really, what are people waiting for? I want to live! That's what matters - living. I want to do everything, be everything - feel everything.

  [Stanley makes his move] 

  Margaret Spencer : Rape! Rape!

  Stanley Moon : No, no! Margaret! Margaret! The animals! The goats! The touching!

  Margaret Spencer : Rape! Rape! Rape!

• Margaret Spencer : Do you like feeling things?

  Stanley Moon : Oh, yes, I'm a very - tactile person.

  Margaret Spencer : I love *touching* things. Sometimes, I go into the forest and shut my eyes and just wander around touching trees and grass and boulders. Y-You should try it. Do it in here! Go on. Shut your eyes. Now feel something hard.

  Stanley Moon : Oh. Ohh! Oh, I'm feeling something terribly hard. It's fantastic.

  Margaret Spencer : Oh, now feel something soft.

  Stanley Moon : Oh. Oh, my goodness gracious me. Oh, it's unbelievable. Oh, the contrast. I've never felt anything so exciting in my life. Yeah. I love it. Feel my tie.

  Margaret Spencer : Oh! Mmm. Oh. It's delicious!

  Stanley Moon : Yeah?

  Margaret Spencer : Velvet. It's so wild. It really does something to me. Oh.

• Margaret Spencer : Oh, Brahms is just so fantastic! Whenever I feel tense or anything, I put him on, just sprawl on the carpet and let him flow all over me.

  Stanley Moon : Would you like a little taste of him now then?

  Margaret Spencer : Please! Not that I'm tense or anything. It's just that it would make me even less tense.

  Stanley Moon : Go on. Lie down.

  Margaret Spencer : Oh, uh, I didn't mean...

  Stanley Moon : Let it happen.

• Margaret Spencer : Doesn't it make you sad to see animals caged up like this?

  Stanley Moon : Well, in a way, but, uh, quite honestly, they're really no worse off than most of us.

  Margaret Spencer : How do you mean?

  Stanley Moon : Well, metaphorically speaking and in a very real sense, society creates its own cages. You know, cages of the mind.

  Margaret Spencer : Yes. Yes.

  Stanley Moon : A curious kind of cerebral captivity.

• Margaret Spencer : We're playing croquet. Why don't you and Peter go away and discuss your affairs?

  Stanley Moon : True enough. I suppose we ought to tie up this Venezuelan business.

  George Spiggott : Yes. Lord Dowdy, I wonder if you'd be so kind as to take over my blue ball and double up with Daphne.

• Insp. Reg Clarke : Lovely weather we've been having.

  Margaret Spencer : Lovely.

  Insp. Reg Clarke : Of course, we've been kept pretty busy. It's the summer frocks. I've had three rapes on my hands this morning.

  Margaret Spencer : Is that a lot?

  Insp. Reg Clarke : Oh, round about the seasonal average.

• Insp. Reg Clarke : I've always had mixed feelings about - rape. I mean, half the time, it's the, uh, the girls that have led things on.

  [moves in closer] 

  Margaret Spencer : I agree with you.

  [backs away] 

  Insp. Reg Clarke : They bring it on themselves, you know. They really do.

• Insp. Reg Clarke : You've got lovely lips, Margaret. Very tempting and alluring. "Lorelei lips" is what I call 'em. Has anyone ever said that before?

  Margaret Spencer : No, never.

• Insp. Reg Clarke : I don't want to alarm you, but I'd say that lips like that would be a magnet to sex maniacs.

  Margaret Spencer : Really?

• Margaret Spencer : What magic is afoot?

  Stanley Moon : Our love is written in the book of fate. There is no escaping it.

  Margaret Spencer : This - can't be right - and yet, within my breast beats *such* desire.