Bedtime Story (1964)

David Niven: Lawrence Jameson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Freddy Benson : You ever take a women for 20 bucks?

  Lawrence Jameson : No, I'm afraid that's a little out of my class.

  Freddy Benson : No it isn't. Think big. You got possibilities. You're not a bad lookin' fella.

  Lawrence Jameson : Oh, thank you.

• Freddy Benson : I could show you the ropes. We'd make a great team. I'll take the young ones, you get the old ones.

  Lawrence Jameson : The old ones for me?

  Freddy Benson : Yeah, they're the ones you can take for the real loot.

  Lawrence Jameson : For more than 20 dollars?

  Freddy Benson : A guy like you could knock off 50, a hundred bucks a night.

  Lawrence Jameson : Isn't there a name for men who get money from women?

  Freddy Benson : Un huh... smart. I know ya don't need the money, but live a little, have some gigs.

• Andre : Monsieur Jameson, why do you wish to become involved with a depraved man like this?

  Lawrence Jameson : Because I don't think he's really depraved. I think he's just emotionally disturbed.

  Freddy Benson : That's it.

  Lawrence Jameson : His warped attitude toward the female sex probably stems from some experience during infancy that left him hostile toward women.

  Andre : Like what?

  Lawrence Jameson : Oh, who knows? Maybe the poor man has been the victim of improper potty training.

  Freddy Benson : That's me, dad. That's what did it.

• Freddy Benson : That poor dame's got me for a husband.

  Lawrence Jameson : Don't feel so sorry for her. Women marry men to reform them. That's what makes them happy. And with a rat like you, she faces a lifetime of ecstasy.

• Freddy Benson : Oh, dad, I see you've got a lot to learn about women. Let me tell you somethin'. The more you lie to them, the more you take 'em, the rougher you treat 'em, the better they like ya.

  Lawrence Jameson : Is that a fact?

  Freddy Benson : I could tell ya things about women that'd curl your hair.

  Lawrence Jameson : I'm afraid I'm a bit naïve when it comes to the weaker sex.

  Freddy Benson : The weaker sex? Oh, dad, let me put some new colors in your paint box. They're about as weak as the engine that's pulling this train. Remember this. It takes six men to carry a guy to his grave. It takes one woman to put him there.

• Freddy Benson : I say it's time for a change. Let's live off them awhile. Let them give us the money. Now, that probably shocks a guy like you, don't it?

  Lawrence Jameson : It's rather a revolutionary thought. But how do we go about affecting this change?

  Freddy Benson : [Chuckles]  Ah, dad, you're so brainwashed it's pathetic.

• Lawrence Jameson : Oh, here we are. As you Americans would say, "Deadsville."

• Freddy Benson : Master! O giver of knowledge. I've come to sit at your feet and learn. Teach me. Mold me. Polish me. I'm in your hands.

  Lawrence Jameson : I wouldn't soil them on you.

  Freddy Benson : Well, now, is that any way to talk to your partner?

  Lawrence Jameson : By no stretch of the imagination will I associate myself with someone like you. You're crude.

  Freddy Benson : Well, so is oil until you refine it into high octane gasoline. Up my octane, big daddy.

• Lawrence Jameson : You do have a sort of brutish appeal to women. You're certainly unprincipled. Lying and cheating come naturally to you. You're completely without moral qualms.

  Freddy Benson : There, you see. Everybody's got a good side if you look for it.

• Lawrence Jameson : Freddy, centuries from now when the archaeologists unearth the remains of our civilization, do you want them to find just juke boxes?

• Lawrence Jameson : Are you challenging me? Are you proposing to pitch your crude animal instincts against intelligence, culture, and breeding?

  Freddy Benson : If that means, am I kicking your prat off this hill, yeah.