Robin Hood: Alan a Dale (1984)
Season 1, Episode 4
7/10
"Rub me dry, Gisburne. HARDER!"
14 July 2023
Warning: Spoilers
This one seems to be taken from the legends more than Richard Carpenter's mind: Pagan and occult elements are taking a break, while you recognize the name Alan-a-Dale and the story of Robin Hood uniting two young lovers by saving the girl from a forced marriage.

It's a fun, solid (and slightly homoerotic!) episode, if nothing very special.

The older groom separating the lovers is in this case the Sheriff himself. Yes, our mustache-twirling villain is getting married, but to climb the social ladder only, because he HATES. WOMEN. Indeed, the impending exchange of vows seems to depress him almost as much as it does the bride.

Meanwhile, the bride's true love, drama queen/minstrel Alan-a-Dale, befriends Robin Hood's gang. The Merries are only too happy to help him out, as that would also mean stealing money from the Sheriff.

The trivia section claims Alan was intended to be a permanent cast member, but the plans were cancelled because the actor was too incompetent! Now, that's good PR for the episode. Honestly he didn't seem all that bad to me, but then I found out he was completely dubbed, both singing and speaking voice.

The episode also finds some time to focus on Little John, and while it's not much, I love Clive Mantle getting a chance to shine. Speaking of competence, he was one of the series' best actors to me. Look out for a certain logfight scene illustrating John's bear-like strength, as well as being generally priceless.

Little John has got himself a girlfriend. The problem is that visits from an outlaw puts her whole village in danger. Robin furiously scolds John over this, and he takes it, not pointing out that that's easy for Robin to say, who has a wife living with him in the woods. What are the other poor lads to do??

Well, certainly not turn to each other! This was the 1980s, after all. In a later episode ("Lord of the Trees") the show seems to go out of its way to shoot down any viewer suspicion of homosexuality, as it sees absolutely every Merry Man, even Friar Tuck, flirting with one or more women.

As for Gisburne, he's practically a ladies' man, if only they'd want him.

To be fair, Richard Carpenter stated that the two original band members who are killed in the beginning of the series, were meant to be a gay couple. I don't think they show any signs of that in the actual episodes, though. Maybe they weren't allowed to, or maybe it was a retcon.

In this episode, however! Now, I swear I'm not one to see homoerotic undertones or overtones every time males get chummy. Close platonic friendships are a thing, and a lengthy mudfight doesn't have to be more than a lengthy mudfight.

(Incidentally, said mudfight between Robin and Gisburne had to be filmed twice due to technical problems, resulting in Michael Praed being so exhausted he almost drowned as he was supposed to swim away.)

But then you have the misogynist Sheriff's requesting Gisburne's assistance for bodily tasks, like rubbing him dry after his bath. Harder!

And there's the ending, which features a wedding and lots of romantic smooching and happiness between the new couples (highlighting, as always, the lack of chemistry between Robin and Marion).

This is intercut with a scene of the Sheriff and Gisburne, now *both* naked in the bath after they got stung by bees. Gisburne is yet again tasked with rubbing, the back this time, and the Sheriff asks him to go "lower"??

I mean. Come ON.

Random thoughts/obs:

-This is the first of many appearances of the village of Wickham, I think. Boba Fett lived there.

-This might also be the only reference to Marion's pre-Sherwood beekeeping, probably because they couldn't get those weaponized bees to look even close to real. Hey, it was 1984.
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