Review of Arachnia

Arachnia (2003 Video)
8/10
8 stars for laugh value, not quality.
15 February 2019
One can only hope this was intended to be a legit thriller---after all, the best part of watching such a movie is being able to write a snarky review. As you can see from the many database comments, "Arachnia" doesn't disappoint, especially when accompanied by the RiffTrax commentary . General concensus: it's terminally tacky, but fun. Classic B-thriller cliches abound in its casting, dialogue, action, and complete lack of logic. (Characters in movies like this do not behave like real people. Heaven forbid they should get in the truck and drive to safety right in the beginning.) The cast provides your requisite one-dimensional stereotypes---stalwart hero, goofy sidekick, stuffy professor, hillbilly farmer, and the obligatory eye candy provided by Tiffany Trump and Amy Irving lookalikes. Thanks to the hackneyed script, it's hard to tell who has any real talent, but my best guess: Irene Joseph (Chandra) has the most spark, despite the lines she's given to read. The ending is delightfully, over-the-top ridiculous. Pop some corn and have a fun, mindless movie trip.
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