"Cry Baby Lane" originally aired on Nickelodeon in 2000. Odds are the movie would have been forgotten by all but the most dedicated nineties nostalgist if something funny hadn't happened. It was never aired again. Rumor has it, the film was pulled from rotation because parents complained it was "too scary." "Cry Baby Lane" became sought-after by Nick devotees. The widely unseen film even spawned a (badly written) creepypasta. Finally, in 2011, a copy emerged and got plastered all over the internet, prompting Nickelodeon to reair it for the first time in ten years. Because I work at my own pace, I'm just now getting around to watching it.
Too scary? Not quite. As far as content goes, "Cry Baby Lane" is on par with an episode of "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" Like that fondly remembered show, "Cry Baby Lane" has an impressively creepy opening. Frank Langella recalls an urban legend about conjoined brothers kept in captivity by their father. As with most fictional twins, one is good and other is evil. When the boys die, the father separates the children, burying the good child in the public cemetery and the evil one in an isolated grave along the titular road. The story, darkly intoned, is played over images of black-and-white graveyards, abandoned homes, torn up stuffed animals, and bloody saws. This is doubtlessly the spookiest thing about "Cry Baby Lane." The rest plays out more typically. After hearing about the legend from the friendly mortician, ten-year old Andrew and his older, wrestling-obsessed, borderline abusive brother decide to perform a prank séance for the girls they like. A fake séance works as well as a real one, resurrecting the spirit of the evil twin. The ghost wreaks havoc on the small town, possessing most of the residents. This is a kid's movie so the evil manifest as petty prankery. Graffiti and mailbox tag are annoying but not exactly evil. The most malevolent actions are a burning boat and potentially deadly, if non-lethal, encounters with a bull and a harvester. Also, because this is a kid's movie, the story is primarily concerned with Andrew proving his courage to his bully brother.
The blatant attempts at horror fall flat. An encounter with a possessed cop doesn't pay off. The final, underground confrontation with the evil twin is hopelessly lame. "Cry Baby Lane" is probably more valuable as comedy. The apathetic father provides a few laughs, as does the overprotective mom and lazy gravedigger. The older brother's attempt to retell the legend while the girls interrupt him got a chuckle out of me. Other comic relief is less amusing, like the belligerent "Lord of the Rings"-obsessed kid or a giant girl-scout. The movie doesn't address a young boy spending so much time with a strange old man, even when the kid ends up in his underwear. I guess that's to be expected. Overall, the cult of "Cry Baby Lane" is mostly undeserved, even if that opening is still aces.
Too scary? Not quite. As far as content goes, "Cry Baby Lane" is on par with an episode of "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" Like that fondly remembered show, "Cry Baby Lane" has an impressively creepy opening. Frank Langella recalls an urban legend about conjoined brothers kept in captivity by their father. As with most fictional twins, one is good and other is evil. When the boys die, the father separates the children, burying the good child in the public cemetery and the evil one in an isolated grave along the titular road. The story, darkly intoned, is played over images of black-and-white graveyards, abandoned homes, torn up stuffed animals, and bloody saws. This is doubtlessly the spookiest thing about "Cry Baby Lane." The rest plays out more typically. After hearing about the legend from the friendly mortician, ten-year old Andrew and his older, wrestling-obsessed, borderline abusive brother decide to perform a prank séance for the girls they like. A fake séance works as well as a real one, resurrecting the spirit of the evil twin. The ghost wreaks havoc on the small town, possessing most of the residents. This is a kid's movie so the evil manifest as petty prankery. Graffiti and mailbox tag are annoying but not exactly evil. The most malevolent actions are a burning boat and potentially deadly, if non-lethal, encounters with a bull and a harvester. Also, because this is a kid's movie, the story is primarily concerned with Andrew proving his courage to his bully brother.
The blatant attempts at horror fall flat. An encounter with a possessed cop doesn't pay off. The final, underground confrontation with the evil twin is hopelessly lame. "Cry Baby Lane" is probably more valuable as comedy. The apathetic father provides a few laughs, as does the overprotective mom and lazy gravedigger. The older brother's attempt to retell the legend while the girls interrupt him got a chuckle out of me. Other comic relief is less amusing, like the belligerent "Lord of the Rings"-obsessed kid or a giant girl-scout. The movie doesn't address a young boy spending so much time with a strange old man, even when the kid ends up in his underwear. I guess that's to be expected. Overall, the cult of "Cry Baby Lane" is mostly undeserved, even if that opening is still aces.