Dark Shadows (2012)
6/10
It's no "Sleepy Hollow".
12 May 2012
I was hoping for another magical mix of atmospheric horror and Burton /Depp shenanigans like the perfect blend served up in their take on Ichabod Crane. I thought the prospect of a Vampire being brought back after 2 centuries would provide lots of opportunity for laughs and scares.

Alas this is another broad and oddly muted pairing off the jolly bad boys much more in line quality wise with their off-kilter (if enjoyable at times riff on "Alice In Wonderland". It has neither the scares or guffaws that might have given it some genuine life.

The first mistake was probably in settling for a PG13 level of depth and mayhem (though Burton and Depp obviously had a great time sneaking in bizarre sexual innuendo including witchy Green dropping down to give Barnabas a bit of undead oral attention). "Sleepy Hollow" worked for me because it's "R" rating gave the premise room to breath...and be as far out as B and D wanted it to be. This films seems oddly truncated and half hearted.

Another problem is the "Gotta please the fans" decision to devote gobs of time to back story...without bothering to give the updated characters any life or depth...(and playing fast and loose with the mythology at times is NOT going to win anybody's eternal devotion).

All in all entertaining and watchable...but not what it could and should have been.
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