If You Want Citizen Kane Look Somewhere Else
24 December 2010
Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus (2010)

** (out of 4)

When MEGA SHARK VS GIANT OCTOPUS became a huge hit you just knew The Asylum would follow it up. This film here is just as campy but it actually manages to be somewhat better due to some better written characters and a nice performance by Gary Stretch playing an Indiana Jones-like croc hunter. The "story" pretty much has the 1500-ft. crocodile wanting to protect her eggs from the mega shark who wants to eat them. The humans have to find a spot for them to do an epic battle. If you pay a $1 from your Redbox like I did for a movie called MEGA SHARK VS CROCOSAURUS then you should know very well that you're not renting a film by Orson Welles. I'm still shocked at how many people rent or buy a movie like this then get upset that they're not watching something they can compare to GONE WITH THE WIND. Look, if you're going to waste time watching a movie like this then it's best to realize that you're watching a "C" production from a minor company who specializes in making silly, bad movies that get released direct-to-DVD. If this was fifty years ago then this would be playing as a double-feature with FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER or BRIDE OF THE MONSTER but today we get it this way. This movie contains some of the worst CGI you're ever going to see unless you're watching another film from The Asylum but when it's this bad there's really no point in trying to figure out which is the worst. There are a couple scenes here where CGI helicopters are flying so close that their blades are obviously touches each others yet nothing ever happens. As with the previous film you get all sorts of campy scenes including one where the shark comes up from beneath the submarine, picks it up and flies through the air with it. The crocodile CGI is without question the weakest as it comes off very blurry throughout the movie and you have to wonder why they made it look this way when she's clearly one of the stars of the film. So, how is the big fight? It's not too bad but then again there's really not too much you can do when a shark fights a croc. The battle between the two is pretty fun but the bigger highlight is when the croc goes on shore in Miami and does damage to several familiar places and he even visits Sea World where Shamu doesn't stand a chance. The performances are pretty much what you'd expect in a film like this but I thought Stretch actually delivered a fun performance and he certainly kept the film moving. There's no question this is a bad movie but thankfully there's enough camp and silly action to at least keep it entertaining for the most part. At just under 90-minutes the film runs way too long and The Asylum really needs to understand that these type of films are better when they don't cross the 75-minute mark.
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