Review of The Last Time

The Last Time (2006)
4/10
It's like when Mom would make dinner out of the leftovers from the last three nights
3 October 2010
Warning: Spoilers
This film is what you get when everyone has a different idea about what sort of movie they're making. Writer/director Michael Caleo thought he was making some sort of hip, clever drama like The Usual Suspects. Michael Keaton and Daniel Stern thought they were doing a comedy. Brendan Fraser apparently believed he was playing in some sort of angst-filled indy flick and Amber Valletta appears to have been doing some sort of tragic romance. Those disparate intentions slide into each other and produce a film that makes no sense and becomes more and more unintentionally hilarious as it tries to pretend that it does.

Ted (Michael Keaton) is the top salesman at a computer technology company in New York City. He's a living, breathing Yosemite Sam, so angry at everything and everyone in the world that steam is practically coming out of his ears. His pathetic boss (Daniel Stern) has teamed Ted up with Jaime (Brendan Fraser), the new salesman on staff. Jaime is fresh into town from Ohio and is the bright and chipper opposite of Ted. At first, Ted is simply disgusted with Jaime's happiness and can-do attitude, but that changes after he meets Jaime's fiancé Belisa (Amber Valletta). Ted and Belisa quickly fall in lust, leading to Ted trying to help Jaime due to both guilt and to keep him busy so Ted can have Belisa all to himself. But as Jaime's failures continue, he turns into an ever surlier version of Ted. And as Ted's own sales falter because he's obsessed with Belisa, the company starts to collapse around him. Then there's a big twist at the end which even the dimmest bulb will have halfway figured out before the movie is halfway over. You'll only figure out about 50% of the twist, though, because it's just so stupid. It's like a 14 year old's notion of a cunning plan.

The best thing about The Last Time is that the acting is good, but only in spurts. When he gets his chance, Keaton again demonstrates he's one of the great angry/funny ranters of his age. Stern is also good when he's on screen as the harried, sloganeering sales manager who always feels like he's drowning in quicksand. Valetta is suitably appealing as an object of desire and Fraser is almost as entertaining as Keaston when Jaime is allowed to just be funny.

The worst thing about The Last Time is that writer/director Caleo understands his own script about as well as a jellyfish understands algebra. There are parts of this movie that are straight comedy, parts that are serious drama, parts that as edgy, parts that are mushy, parts that are over-the-top ridiculous and about 7 different other stuff. Caleo, quite bizarrely, treats all of it exactly the same. This isn't a serious movie with funny bits, it's not a comedy with dark moments and it's not goofy film that gets a little outrageous. It tries to be all of those things equally to laughably lame effect. It'll be things like an overtly humorous scene that has starkly dramatic music playing on the soundtrack at the same time or something as insane as Ted and Belisa having sex on the same bed where Jaime is passed out drunk being treated like a garden variety affair. It creates this overriding sense of unreality that prevents you from enjoying any part of the movie that much.

Its little eruptions of comedy from Keaton and Stern, along with Amber Valetta going topless, prevent The Last Time from being completely unwatchable. There's a clunky fakeness to the whole film, though, that stops it from being that entertaining. You don't need to see this film but you won't end up hating yourself if you do.
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