A ridiculously unambitious British horror quickie aimed squarely at the international DVD market, so if you go in expecting subtlety, nuanced acting or coherence, you're having a laugh.
The most interesting thing here is Paul Andrew Williams' laughable 'story by' credit. After the excremental misfire of The Cottage and now this creatively deficient waste of time, the unjustly lauded filmmaker behind one of this decade's most absurdly overrated debuts appears to be making a play for a homecoming appearance at his local dole office.
The conceit is basically non-existent. An anodyne coffee advertisement quickly morphs into a veritable smash-and-grab of putrid genre clichés that are thrown furiously at the screen in the vague belief that nobody will notice the appalling lack of plot, narrative or suspense. People shout and scream, people die, and not one second of it makes any sense. I rolled my eyes so much during this film that I technically saw more of my ceiling.
The highpoint is definitely Eva Birthistle. She isn't much of an actress, but she is massively easy on the eye - a delectable hybrid of Alice Evans and a young Geri Halliwell. A mighty fine piece of ass, to be sure.
Any critic who resorts to deliberating over female eye candy is truly a desperate one, but then this is a truly desperate movie.
The more discerning moviegoer would do well to note that it was executive produced by Nick Love, which says more than words ever could.
The most interesting thing here is Paul Andrew Williams' laughable 'story by' credit. After the excremental misfire of The Cottage and now this creatively deficient waste of time, the unjustly lauded filmmaker behind one of this decade's most absurdly overrated debuts appears to be making a play for a homecoming appearance at his local dole office.
The conceit is basically non-existent. An anodyne coffee advertisement quickly morphs into a veritable smash-and-grab of putrid genre clichés that are thrown furiously at the screen in the vague belief that nobody will notice the appalling lack of plot, narrative or suspense. People shout and scream, people die, and not one second of it makes any sense. I rolled my eyes so much during this film that I technically saw more of my ceiling.
The highpoint is definitely Eva Birthistle. She isn't much of an actress, but she is massively easy on the eye - a delectable hybrid of Alice Evans and a young Geri Halliwell. A mighty fine piece of ass, to be sure.
Any critic who resorts to deliberating over female eye candy is truly a desperate one, but then this is a truly desperate movie.
The more discerning moviegoer would do well to note that it was executive produced by Nick Love, which says more than words ever could.