YugoNinja Review of Decadent Evil

Decadent Evil (2005 Video)

This movie was entirely filmed on toilet paper!

[1/10 · 12 August 2005]

This unwatchable "work of art" has re-invented the word for crap. This "thing" some people unrightfully call a movie has it all: an incredibly appealing title (DECADENT EVIL; but could as well be: VAMPIRE STRIPPER WHORES SEEK IMMORTALITY BY WHIPING OUT AN ENTIRE COMMUNITY WITHOUT ANYONE NOTICING), an astonishing cast (three pseudo-actresses picked up directly from the street, a dwarf, and a guy with a broom stuck up his ass), a thought-provoking plot (a vampire queen wants to become invincible (what for?) by sucking the blood of 10 000 (or so) victims...), great lines (topless girl HAND-CUFFED to a bed: I'm calling the police!), 3 locations (a Gothic mansion, a sleazy strip club and a hotel room - all of which was probably a masterfully camouflaged director's kitchen), some memorable scenes (the "demonic doll" Marvin masturbating by the bed where the topless girl (free nudity) is handcuffed and then licking her nipples while she is dubiously trying to resist him (great actress in my humble opinion) and all the scenes where blood is not spurting from the veins of the victims but thrown by someone off-camera to the actor's throats - pure genius, I tell you), a respectful length-time (an unbearable 74 minutes), a grand finale (the demonic doll Marvin screwing the vampire queen who was herself transformed into a demonic doll with the help of Marvin's son (the dwarf actor)). By watching this thing I unfortunately (for myself and my now weak mental stability) discovered the bottom of the bottom. I discovered the dark recesses of wasted film tape. And it has come to my knowledge that Charles Band has created several masterpieces of this kind (around 200! - one of them being Gingerdead man starring Gary Busey!!!) which will eventually (and unfortunately) find their way to a DVD release, if they haven't already... But Charles Band, the director, producer, writer (and God knows what else) of this..."everything but a movie" thing has all of my respect, because he had the guts to film something so insulting to the human intellect, to good taste and to the concept of movie itself. I would be lynched for filming that in my country. I think that in some cases, especially in America, freedom of speech and the right to free expression should be controlled by some organization. Organization that (if it existed) wouldn't allow things like this to happen, not now and not in the future. Who gave Charles Band the director's chair? Why is he doing this? Why doesn't anyone tell him to change profession? And finally, what did I do wrong to deserve this? Yeah, I know, it was my fault in the first place. Next time I see a Charles Band film I'll flee the country and settle somewhere in the world where American movies are banned, especially cheap horror movies with the obligatory sex scene and a predictable plot (if any). My vote? Are you joking? This thing is "unvotable". The IMDb staff should create a new voting system for all of Charles Band "movies".