As bad movies go, this is pretty bad...which is pretty GOOD if you're a bad-movie buff (like I am). But then what else would you expect when it stars Dennis Rodman? Surprisingly enough, Rodman is almost low-key, to the point where you could actually say he almost gives a decent performance. Almost. Still, it must be said his performance here is WORLDS better than in "Double Team", that classic of bad-moviedom. Perhaps because he's almost restrained, the makers of this have decided to bypass intelligent character or plot development (a fact given away by its grammar-savvy title) and packed it with common-denominator bits that are dime-store quality even by the action genre's sorry standards. And then there's the acting...Dane Clark, as Rodman's bumbling sidekick, pours it on thick with what is meant to be comic relief, but is neither comic nor relief; at NO MOMENT is he even BARELY amusing. If THAT were the very worst, it would be borderline tolerable, but oh no -- they've thrown in the comedy stylings of Ricky Harris & John Pinette as two computer-geek-slash-ass-kicking-slash -jive-slinging monks (monks!!!) who help and/or guide Rodman (it's never really explained); John Pinette is an embarassment not only to actors, but comedians, fat people, monks and especially himself: 'fat' jokes are one thing but nearly every opportunity is taken -- with his blessing and help! -- to show him eating, or shaking his bountiful belly, or wanting to eat...until, of course, at the movie's climax, when he (or, rather, a stunt double) suddenly turns kick-boxing action star. Said scene provides the single most unintentionally funny moments: try holding back the laughs when it's obvious Pinette's double is only about 6 inches taller and 100 pounds lighter (despite the padding), and watch as a baddie is kicked over a bridge and actually SLOWS as he falls, thanks not to slow-mo but to the bungie cord. Oh, and then there's the, ahem, "special effects". Can you say "blue screen"? The only member of this cast (designed to appeal to every possible international audience) that shows signs of real energy is Emma Sjosberg, who shares a thankfully-brief love scene with Rodman (she kisses him on the lips and does NOT vomit. Now THAT'S what I call 'acting'!!!).
