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Simon Sez (1999)

2.5
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Ratings: 2.5/10 from 5,203 users   Metascore: 16/100
Reviews: 58 user | 18 critic | 8 from Metacritic.com

Basketball superstar Dennis Rodman stars as a hip Interpol agent attempting to defeat the deadly plans of a crazed arms dealer.

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(story), (story), 2 more credits »
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Title: Simon Sez (1999)

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
Simon
...
Nick Miranda
...
Micro
Ricky Harris ...
Macro
Filip Nikolic ...
Michael Gabrielli (as Filip Nikolitch)
...
Claire Fence
Emma Wiklund ...
The Dancer (as Emma Sjoberg)
Jérôme Pradon ...
Ashton
Xin Xin Xiong ...
Xin Xin (Bodyguard)
Henry Courseaux ...
Bernard Gabrielli
Igor De Savitch ...
Colonel Jacques Telore
Clayton Day ...
William Fence
Jean-Michel Dagory ...
Frenais
Pierre Madengar ...
Etiophian Vendor
Kevin Elders ...
British Reporter / Cartoon Voice
Edit

Storyline

Basketball superstar Dennis Rodman stars as a hip Interpol agent attempting to defeat the deadly plans of a crazed arms dealer.

Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis

Taglines:

The game's not over until... See more »

Genres:

Action | Comedy

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated PG-13 for violence and sexuality | See all certifications »
Edit

Details

Country:

| |

Language:

Release Date:

12 July 2000 (Belgium)  »

Also Known As:

Rescate explosivo  »

Box Office

Budget:

$10,000,000 (estimated)

Opening Weekend:

$185,472 (USA) (24 September 1999)

Gross:

$185,472 (USA) (24 September 1999)
 »

Company Credits

Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

|

Color:

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
See  »
Edit

Did You Know?

Goofs

In the hotel room as Simon is arming himself and arguing with Nick (Dane Cook), he calls Nick "Dane." See more »

Quotes

Simon: A potato?
Nick Miranda: Yeah!
Simon: You gagged her with a POTATO?
Nick Miranda: I tried grapes but she kept eating them!
See more »

Connections

References The Silence of the Lambs (1991) See more »

Soundtracks

Chika Boom
Written and Performed by Brian Tyler
See more »

Frequently Asked Questions

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User Reviews

 
Simon Sez cover your eyes and ears from this shitstorm...
3 July 2006 | by (El Paso!) – See all my reviews

(r#40)

TV 3, a "quality" TV channel here in Sweden, recently decided to have a bottom 100-marathon and showed BOTH Gigli and this turkey during the same night. Now, I don't know any of TV3's producers personally, but it seems to me like they're torturing us rather than entertaining us. Simon Sez is a "comedy" so offensively stupid, it makes the Scary Movie series look like Bergman films. It seems to have been written by six year olds, for six year olds, but the foul language and violence would be too much for kids, so what was the target demographic, anyway? Oh right, idiots.

Dennis Rodman, professional basketball player (which is always a good sign) stars as Simon, a secret agent of some kind. He takes part in a kidnapping gone wrong. I won't waste any more time explaining the plot because it couldn't have taken more than a few seconds to write it. Simon is accompanied on his mission by annoying white sidekick Nick Miranda (played by excruciatingly unfunny Dane Cook), who desperately wants to be Jim Carrey, and a sexy Emma Sjöberg.

This is not a good movie. It's over-flooded by dumb action, hilariously retarded lines, and annoying characters. My favourite is the English/French/something villain Jérôme Pradon who wants to blow up the Eiffel Tower ("Why? Because it's big and it's beautiful and I'm tired of looking at it!"). Best line since "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn". Seriously.

Even the special effects suck. Avoid! And TV3, how about a Coleman Francis marathon next Sunday?


11 of 15 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

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