If you could somehow wave a magic wand over a steaming pile of crap and turn it into a shiny DVD, "The Astro Zombies" is what would be on that DVD.
It starts out promising, with a well-endowed 1960s go-go type chick getting mauled by some guy in an Imperial-Stormtrooper-on-Acid helmet. Cut to the authorities getting together and spouting some semi-amusing gibberish about a mad scientist creating "Astro-Men." So far, so good.
Unfortunately, what follows next is 80 minutes of excruciating boredom, including several interminable -- and I mean interminable -- scenes of the mad scientist (John Carradine) farting around in his lab with his Igor-like assistant Franchot (William Bagdad). All in all, the "zombies" have about two minutes of screen time. For the rest of the film, absolutely nothing happens.
Maybe if Russ Meyer chick Tura Satana, who plays a Mexican spy or something, flashed her enormous boobs, it would have helped this rancid waste of time. On second thought, even that wouldn't have made a difference. Avoid this excrement at all costs, and don't believe anyone who claims "It's so bad it's good." No, it's so bad it's criminal.
Co-written by Wayne Rogers (as in Trapper John from the M*A*S*H* TV series) and followed, unbelievably, by a sequel in 2002.
It starts out promising, with a well-endowed 1960s go-go type chick getting mauled by some guy in an Imperial-Stormtrooper-on-Acid helmet. Cut to the authorities getting together and spouting some semi-amusing gibberish about a mad scientist creating "Astro-Men." So far, so good.
Unfortunately, what follows next is 80 minutes of excruciating boredom, including several interminable -- and I mean interminable -- scenes of the mad scientist (John Carradine) farting around in his lab with his Igor-like assistant Franchot (William Bagdad). All in all, the "zombies" have about two minutes of screen time. For the rest of the film, absolutely nothing happens.
Maybe if Russ Meyer chick Tura Satana, who plays a Mexican spy or something, flashed her enormous boobs, it would have helped this rancid waste of time. On second thought, even that wouldn't have made a difference. Avoid this excrement at all costs, and don't believe anyone who claims "It's so bad it's good." No, it's so bad it's criminal.
Co-written by Wayne Rogers (as in Trapper John from the M*A*S*H* TV series) and followed, unbelievably, by a sequel in 2002.