Top 5 Favorite MST3K episodes

I know THIS one will top many "fan-favorite" list and with good reason. This absurd piece of crap is a barrel of unintentional comedy all on his own. It's spectacularly miscast with a slab of 'roided-up of screechy beef as the hero and Ersatz Santa's sextuagenarian daughter as the "young nubile love interest. It thinks floor buffers makes a good chase vehicle and sunlight-streaming factories make convincing spaceships. It commits a continuity error so stupid and blatant, that you wonder if someone just propped up the puppets from Hobgoblins in the editing room and call it a day. And MST3K crew was on a ROLL here, with witty barbs for all of it. Especially....

Memorable riff: Try NOT to laugh at the many, many funny nicknames they give David Ryder. I dare you. As for an actual "line", I guess I'd go with "Put on your helmets. We'll be reaching speeds of 3!"

Another underrated...er..."classic" that doesn't get enough love. I can watch this one over and over and giggle every time. Yet another feature trying to haphazardly stitch two different episodes with all the grace of the a epileptic with a chainsaw and duct tape, the ups the camp factor by throwing in everything you hate about the 70s: hideous hair and clothing, CB-using rednecks, low-impact police action (there are car sequences that rival Mitchell for utter lameness), and leads that confuse "mellow" for "dim." This also contains one of my favorite sketches where the crew riff on the poorly-edited-in heroine by recreating an animatronic Abby and her dubbed-in lines.

Memorable riff: "Sam, I'm blown to several thousand bits, but I got to finish these patent papers."

If continuity mistakes and inconsistencies were sex, then Werewolf would be considered a cinematic orgy. Inconsistent hair, inconsistent werewolf costume, inconsistent lighting and inconsistent acting (featuring one of the WORST actresses ever.) However it's the inconsistent pronunciations of "werewolf" from our ESL gang of leads (especially from said "worst actress") that get the most material from Mike and the gang.

Memorable riff: "Yuri, you is a jerk!

"You're Welcome!" The movie goofy enough as it is with it's attempts to poorly piece together two completely different projects leading to some rather "inappropriate-for-kids" tonal shifts, but once Crow and Mike start imitating "Grandpa Borgnine" telling gruesome trauma-inducing tales to a frightened little kid, I lost it. Laughs all the way

Memorable riff: "Remember to believe in magic...or I'll kill you."

This one doesn't get as much "buzz" as other riffs Tom Servo and the gang has done, but I don't know why. The film's hilariously awful. The inept fighting choreography, ridiculous costumes, poor acting (containing the second-worst line reading I've ever heard of the "films" mentioned on the show) and obnoxious characters were tailor made of MST3K.

Memorable riff: "I am SO heterosexual."