Jerry falls in love with a stripper he meets at a carnival. Little does he know that she is the sister of a gypsy fortune teller whose predictions he had scoffed at earlier. The gypsy turns him into a zombie and he goes on a killing spree.
Ray Dennis Steckler
Ray Dennis Steckler,
This is a movie within a TV movie within a made-for-video movie. A boy is watching TV when a power outage forces him to talk to his grandpa for entertainment. His grandpa, a former screenwriter, re-tells an old screenplay about Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders. In it, Merlin sets up an enchanting store in a modern-day strip mall, accompanied by his gleeful wife and gnomes, snakes, dragons, etc. From this framing device, we then see two stories about people's encounters with items from the shop. The first sequence (created for this film but looking like an episode of "Tales From The Darkside") involves a pompous, cranky newspaper critic who begins casting spells using Merlin's spell book. The second story, an edited version of the full length movie, The Devil's Gift, is about an evil monkey doll (you know, the wicked grin and the cymbals?) who kills every time his hands clap. Merlin of the 1990s is disjointedly tied-in with the 1980 movie. Written by
Michael "Rabbit" Hutchison <email@example.com>
WHAT THE HECK WERE THEY THINKING?!? Merlin's shop of Mystical Wonders is definitely one of the worst cinematic excuses I have ever seen. To put it simply, what the Godfather did for film, this movie accomplishes basically the exact opposite.
"Whoops, ah farted"
First of all, the Godfather was an amazing spectacle which sent a chill down the spine while also bringing a tear to the eye. This movie sends a yellow streak through the pants, while bringing a yawn to the lips. Just as one of the characters ages during the film after performing magic(A butt wipe critic who goes ballistic on Merlin for claiming to be himself, while Merlin, in turn, voraciously apologizes for no reason, thus the quote above) so shall you. The magic feat of your doing, however, will be sitting through this 10 ton turkey without cowering.
"Have you seen my monkey?"
As you may or may not have heard, there are two parts too this movie. The first part involves a man (Afforementioned) who threatens to shut Merlin's shop down if Merlin fails to present him with real magic. Merlin, being the nice guy he is, gives him the critic a book that ages him 40 years, turning him into what looks like a fight between Bill Nye the science guy and a 17th century powdered wig.
"Now, where did I put that great clips coupon"
The second part, which is actually a separate movie from director Ken Burton, who decided to cram the two together into an obvious fusion. Basically, a burglar steals a monkey, which can kill, and this makes Merlin really.......... sad. He basically first starts to mope, and then goes out and searches the city for the toy. He has no luck, until a random lady happens to remember seeing one of the thousand identical toys in a shop window. Meanwhile, in the same, yet different movie, a man buys his kid a toy, and it starts killing stuff by clanging it's cymbals together. Boring things happen, and some people almost die, and the man acts like a retard and almost falls in a pit, and we all cheer when the movie is finally over.
"It makes your greatest wish come true"."Then why are you still standing here?"
One thing I forgot to mention is that the whole movie is narrated by an old man with a giant gap in his two front teeth, who sent a chill down my spine every time he smiled. Of course, since the T.V. wouldn't work, he decided he would scare his Grandson (The worst child actor ever seen) crap less. Basically, the title of the film leads you to believe that this film is a children's flick about magic and sappy joy and hearty, squeaky-clean love. SCREW THAT! Cats get lit on fire, animals get burned, and worst of all, we have to endure it all with the gap-toothed Ernest Borgnine! Yargh. 1/10 stars is just too much
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