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Max and paddy are in Dover, where they buy a dodgy plasma screen from a crooked gypsy. However the screen has no speakers, and so to let off steam the doorman go clubbing. Picking up a couple of girls, the lads soon find they have been the victims of robbers, and soon plan their payback on the girls.

The duo are traveling the country, where they accidentally run over a cow. After finding where it came from they buy a prize pig from the old farmer for £100. After trying to sell it they find it is not worth anywhere near the price they paid. Finally deciding to return the pig, they discover the old man doesn't own the farm, his kids do. Worst of all he has already drank the £100 down the local pub.

The lads finally get to the north east to see an old friend, Billy Shannon who has just come out of prison. He seems obsessed with Max, but hates Paddy as he had previously taken his doorman job. Things finally come to a head at a service station where Billy tries to shoot Paddy. Billy is finally arrested, but not before shooting Paddy in the arse.

The red dwarf crew encounter the inquisitor, a mechanical lifeform who has made himself judge, jury and executioner of all of humanity throughout history. If he decides your life hasn't been worthy enough you are erased and replaced. Bad luck for the dwarfers.