mcfruityballs Reviews

Navy Seals (1990)

A realistic portrayal of Seals in combat.

[26 August 2011]

I am a huge fan of this movie.

As a trained SEAL, I served 100s of missions throughout the Middle East. I used to go by the code name of the Cobra Wolf. Let me tell you, this movie is totally realistic. I know first hand. Charlie Sheen's character really hit home. I too did not like to play by the book. As a renegade, I would disobey orders, but always get the job done. Sure team mates were killed because of it, but hey, thats part of being a Seal.

If you want an nonstop, adrenaline filled, action packed movie that kicks ass and shows what its like to be part of the world'd most elite soldiers, than Navy Seals is for you.

Gothic Movie: Good Girls Don't Sleep in Coffins (2003 Video)

yeah!

[10/10 · 26 December 2010]

I liked it. I thought it was a pretty authentic look at Gothic sub culture. I happen to be a member of the Gothic subculture and I could really relate to many of the themes and ideas that were displayed in this movie. So many movies, such as the Crow or the Hunger or Twilight really get it wrong. Finally, there comes along a movie which finally get it right!

Bad Kitty was awesome. So was Das Helmut. I found it to be scary, suspenseful, erotic, educational, and even funny at times. It is one of those movies you would want to watch again and again. My only commentary I would make is that I think it should have more nudity.

Cant wait for the sequel! Come on guys.. its been long enough. Give us true fans what we want!

The Next Karate Kid (1994)

The best Karate Kid film to date!

[9/10 · 11 July 2007]

Well, it took them 4 tries, but they finally got it right! In this 4th sequel to the Karate Kid franchise, the producers really hit a home run! Well first of all I applaud them for finally getting rid of Ralph Macchio. I felt he never did service to the role of the Karate Kid. I would have rather have seen Danny 'Ralph Mouth' Most in that role. Macchio turned out what proved to be the best movie in the series, and look where his career is now! Instead they put in a girl! They got Hillary Swank, best known for playing a variety of sheman parts in every movie she is in. I personally don't care for her buck teeth, but thats a personal preference. But still, look how Karate Kid 4 launched her career into orbit! She won a freakin Oscar. Jiminey Christmas! Meanwhile where is Ralphy?? He should put out some amateur porn tape like Screech or something.

Anyways, my only disagreement with the movie is that they have a girl doing karate. As a self-proclaimed master of Karate, I have been the proud owner of a white belt for the last 8 5/8 years. The first thing they taught me is that there is no place in any of the martial arts for girls... well except for Judo... but thats kinda gay. So for the purposes of accuracy, I think they should have stuck with another male for this role. I was thinking perhaps Dennis Franz. He would give the role the depth it requires.

Perhaps they will listen to my suggestions and make the proper adjustments in Karate Kid 5. Its too Pat Marita is no longer. I was thinking maybe Justin Guarini is the perfect replacement for the lovable Asian fellow Mr. Miyagi. He will give "Wax on wax off" a whole new meaning. HAHAHAHAHAHA funny huh? Anyways, if you are looking for an exciting movie filled with Karate and triumph of the human spirit, Karate Kid 4 is for you. Don't waste your time with 1-3. This is the Karate Kid for you! This is the Karate Kid for r the ages!

Second Sight (1989)

Finally... they made the perfect movie!

[10/10 · 5 July 2007]

Well first of all, this goes without saying this is Joel Zwick's greatest triumph as a director. Im sure you are like me and have been praying for the Joanie Loves Chachi Movie to finally get made,(its not too late by the way) but this is a close second. You have TV legends John Larroquette as a detective and Bronson Pinchot as his psychic sidekick. As you can imagine the laughs are just nonstop in this one. In fact I laughed so hard, I busted a vein in my forehead and had to be rushed to the emergency room. Don't worry, I am doing fine now. Lucky for me, decorative head bands are back in style to cover it up. I have one with a red sun on it, like in Karate Kid. My headband is named Carlos and I feel it when I wear it I have the power to do anything I want in this world. But I digress. Second Sight is the funniest movie I have ever seen... ever. I am sure you agree with me in that 1989 was the vintage year for comedy motion pictures. This movie is the pinnacle! My only complaint is that I think it would have been funnier with Richard Moll and Mark Lynn Baker. Those were the funny ones. I also would have included Mindy Cohn as the romantic lead in that. I think a love scene with Richard Moll, Mark Lynn Baker, and Mindy Cohn would have been HOT. It would be like Doom Generation kinda, but different. I was also surprised how amazing the special effects were considering the small budget. Made Titanic look like Land of the Lost. Thats not a bad idea by the way. I can see the Sleestacks trying to hold on to Chaka as Chaka drowns in the freezing cold water after the boat sinks. You heard it here first Hollywood! I will sue if you steal that idea! I swear I will! I also would like to see more movies have tacos. I really enjoy tacos and you do not see many people eat them in movies. Something to consider... So if you want the funniest movie of all time, Second Sight is for you. I suggest going out and purchasing it right now. Trust me, it will not leave your VHS player for years to come.

Guarding Tess (1994)

Totally not what I was expecting.

[2/10 · 7 May 2007]

I am more than disappointed with this movie to say the least. I remember being first in line at my local movie theater at the opening day for this one. After months of previews the day had finally arrived. My anticipation level was even higher than for The Crying Game 2 (which still has yet to be produced). So I get my box of raisinettes (which are wonderful mixed with popcorn I must say. I know its a strange combination, but it really works. Whats strange is that I have tried this at home and its never as good. I think it must be the "butter flavored topping" that only a movie theater can provide. Im sorry Orville, but you have a ways to go. I was thinking of possibly purchasing my own popcorn popping machine, just as they have at my local movie theater, but I cannot afford that at this time. I was saving up money to spend on this online auction of Pauly Shore memorabilia. The flip-flops he wore in Encino Man are up to $476! wow! Maybe next year.) and I sit down in the theater. 2 hours later I walk out very disappointed. There were no love scenes what so ever! The trailers were totally alluding to 9 1/2 Weeks type sex scenes with the two stars. Instead it turned out to be this hokey comedy. To be honest, I was expecting full frontal nudity and everything. If I wanted to see a comedy, I would have gone to see Too Wong Fu or something.

So yeah. Don't watch this pile of dung!

Big and Hairy (1998 TV Movie)

The #1 Sasquatch Movie of All Time!

[10/10 · 1 March 2007]

Finally! A movie that has EVERYTHING one could ask for in a movie. I would describe this movie as Harry and the Hendersons meets Teen Wolf meets White Men Cant Jump. What is so great about this movie, is that it is actually based on a true story. I looked it up on the internet, and sure enough, it is valid. Personally, I would have chosen a different actor for the role of Ed, the Sasquatch. Although Trevor Jones did an OK job, I feel the role lacked in someone who could really bring the character to life. I was thinking perhaps George Wendt, Kieran Culkin, or Fran Drescher would fit the role a little better. I am also not a fan of Richard Thomas. For some reason, every time I would watch the Waltons, I would get bad gas. Although my gas was not present while watching this movie (even after eating nachos), it still brings up embarrassing memories of my past. I always thought Wally and the Beav could have kicked John Boys butt anyways. The movie is really one for the ages. It really hit home in many ways. I too did not have many friends when I was a kid. I did everything I could to fit in. Unfortunately, unlike this movie, I did not have a Sasquatch (or the Himilayan counterpart, the Yeti) to help make friends. To be honest, I still really don't have any friends. People used to set bags of dog poop on fire and set them on my porch. I usually have to pay various strippers and prostitutes to even talk to me. I supposed if any fabled hairy mountain creature would have befriended me, I would not be such a loser and sit here online at 3am on a Wednesday night making comments on IMDb about movies really aimed for people 2/3 my age. In any case, I did enjoy Big and Hairy. I do admit, I originally purchased it because after seeing the title, I thought it was a porno. So at first it was disappointing, but after the 7th time watching it, I do find it to be a fantastic movie.

Double Team (1997)

This is on my list of the top 10 movies of all time!

[10/10 · 16 February 2007]

This movie has it all... action, amazing performances, and awesome special effects. First of all the performances of the actors are just off the charts. For all who did not think Dennis Rodman can hold his own in a movie is now finally silenced. Rodman is the star of the movie hands down. I don't know what he was doing wasting his time with basketball after seeing Double Team. He is a natural. This movie is probably Mickey Rourke's best performance as well. Sure he was great in Wild At Heart, but this movie is really a stand out performance for Rourke. My only slight complaint about this movie is Van Damme. Now do not get me wrong, the Muscles from Brussels is awesome. He can kick ass like none other. Plus his charisma really molds well with The Worm. If I was casting this movie, however, I wouldn't waste my money on Van Damme. I would say "Wham! Bam! Thank You Van Damme!" and instead cast the obvious choice who was born to play this role. Thats right... Michael 'The American Ninja' Dudikof. His fighting skills are the best I have ever seen. It would have added that dimension to the movie that perhaps was lacking. What Van Damme may have let me down, the special effects more than made up for. I did not even realize the tiger was fake until I saw it on the credits. Wow! Now I am not even a fan of special effects, but when the CGI is as good as this, I wish they would get rid of the human actors all together. So there you go. Double Team is one for the ages. If you love action movies, this movie is for you. Oh yeah, how come no Double Team action figures? I would buy the entire series. Hell they would probably worth way more than a stupid original unopened Boba Fett or something.

What a Dummy (1990–1991)

What a Dummy.... who canceled this show!

[10/10 · 16 February 2007]

I am still in disbelief this show was canceled. It just goes to show that network execs have no freakin clue what the public wants. I remember when Alf came out, I was the first person to say "this is the most unrealistic show I have ever seen." I mean, come on people... a talking Alien?!? Give me a break! Its common knowledge that if aliens would come to Earth, they wouldn't speak English. And lets just face it, Alf was not even that funny (although that Lynn Tanner did have a nice set of hooters) Now that leads me to this great show. What a Dummy is not only a realistic account of what happens when dummies go wild, but it was HILARIOUS too! I love all of Buzz's little comebacks. Oh man, I remember rolling on the floor after Buzz goes "and they call ME the dummy" LOL! After being a fan of ventriloquists for the last 17 1/2 years, I totally get what they were going for. My only gripe about this show is Stephen Dorff. I think they could have found a better actor for this role. Perhaps if they ever do a remake, I would want to see someone like Heratio Sands, Pauly Shore, Steven Wright, or perhaps the guy who played Paul on the Wonder Years as a possible replacement. That is considering Stephen DorK probably thinks he is too good to go back to the roll that launched his career. I think its a shame this show is no longer on. I would like to propose to all the fans on here to start a letter writing campaign to try to get this finally released on DVD. I would buy a Blu- Ray machine just for that! If those gosh dark studio heads do not release it after that... well maybe they are the one's who are hallow!

The Phantom (1996)

Greatest movie of all time!

[10/10 · 28 July 2006]

This is not just the greatest comic book adaptation super hero movie of all time... it is the GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME! If I could give it give more stars I would. First of all, the acting genius of Billy is unmatched. Keyton sucked as Batman. Reeves sucked as Superman. Affleck was not too bad as Dare Devil. Its about time Hollywood gets a real actor. The script can only be described as genius. The special effects blow any other movie of its kind away. The only thing that makes this movie slightly less than perfect is Catherine Zeta Jones. She doesn't do the role justice. I would have chosen perhaps Cameron Manheim or Kathy Bates in her place. This movie also inspired me to get a wolf and a horse.

I highly recommend this movie to fans of other classics as Quigley Down Under, Double Team, and Wild Wild West.

SLAM EVIL!

Small Wonder (1985–1989)

The greatest show ever

[15 April 2006]

Small Wonder is the greatest TV show EVER!!!!! (except for Cop Rock of course).

For the love of God, will someone release this on DVD? Then I can finally die a happy man.

And Emily Schulman, if you are out there. I am single... shoot me an email babe. I think I am the man for you. I have many 'Jamie-like' qualities.

And what about a Small Wonder video game? How cool would that be? You can build your own VIKI.

I freakin love this show. Ted Lawson is my hero.

Gimme an 'F' (1984)

One of the best 80s movies EVER

[10/10 · 7 February 2006]

WOW! What a fantastic movie. I recently have seen this movie for the first time and I cant believe I missed it in the 80s. There is just so much that makes this movie fantastic. First of all the acting is spectacular. The range of emotion shown by these actors (who went on to become superstars) goes from happiness to love to anger to passion. Wow. The plot has you on the edge of your seat the whole time. Will she make her cartwheel at the end? OH MAN! I need to find out. The shower scene really makes this movie stand out from the crap movies of the 80s. Move over Sixteen Candles. Lastly, I found the lack of bare breasts to be refreshing. I wish more movies would including hip choreography instead of displaying bare breasts.

I give this movie a 10/10. If you ask me, when they say Gimme an F.. the F stand for Fantastic!