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The Fall of the House of Usher (2023)
Very poor from a great writer
So, I really liked Flanagan's previous work although He has been a bit weak in places, especially the ending to midnight mass, that was a massive let down, however, what ever this is just tanked any interest in his next work. From the first episode it was poorly acted, uninteresting, and crammed to the gills with mandated MESSAGE from the ESG loving Netflix.
Massive disappointment, and the murder scene in the first episode was beyond cringe. Out of all the script drafts, takes, on scene improvisations, and post edits, they went with that death? Did no one tell him it was comedy?
The worst is Flanagan has given us zero reason to have any interested or investment in the characters after 40 minutes of run time. I don't know who they are, I don't know what their angle is, I don't know what the stakes are, not interested.
Robyn Hood (2023)
The YouTubers weren't wrong
So I watched Disparu, AZ, and Let's Review Crap Writing's reviews on YouTube (each had me laughing my butt off), so I thought, you know what, I'm going check it out for myself. And wow, it is understandable how this show got the rating it did. The characters are entirely unlikeable apart from the bad guy John Prince. He has the highest morals, wants a better city, and even donates to the children's ward at the local hospital. He's also a pretty good actor too, as well as the sheriff.
For the "protagonists", who are nothing short of insufferable, I can't believe Director X thought civilised viewers would be on their side. They are horrible criminals who are everything that is wrong with the world. The whole reason John Prince wants to gentrify their tower block is because it's nothing short of a crime slum. Why wouldn't you want to get rid of it?
The action is beyond laughable, it is probably the stupidest writing I've ever seen. There are two scenes that really stand out as absolutely absurd, the first being the shooting of the mother in the first episode. I ended up laughing a lot. The second is Robyn throwing a light trash bag at one of the officers and he falls on his butt stunned. Give me a break, that was so stupid I almost cringed myself into an early grave.
But what I will say is please, please keep these episodes coming, it's the greatest comedy all year.
Extinction (2018)
I have no idea why this has a low rating
I have watched many utterly terrible Sci-Fi films in my life, some so bad I was cringing for weeks. This, however, was actually quite brilliant. It starts off as a typical invasion sort of film with the expected suspense, but as it progresses, the plot line thickens and it turned out to be a well thought out film. You think it is a black and white film, enemy bad, good guys good, but absolutely not. I almost gave it a pass based on the rating, but having read other reviews in the comments I decided it deserves a watch, and boy it was the correct decision.
We need more of these films, a strong family unit, man and woman working together, and compassion, rather than the woke wars we are now subjected to where everything has a political message.
Again, this deserves a higher rating.
The VelociPastor (2018)
if you think this is any less than a 10/10, you utterly suck
I got five minutes in and almost died to death with laughter. Hands down one of the funniest things I've watched. Not only did they manage to utterly nail it with the corney, rubbish camera angles and dramatic zoom in, the ridiculous dialogue was great too.
Who ever came up with the idea of a priest becoming a velociraptor is a genius and deserves more oscars than Will Smith. Surprisingly, the acting was great too, they all play the role of a terrible american failed soap opera with precision. A must watch for anyone, not even joking.
If you don't agree with me then you deserve a visit from dinohunting ninjas.
Free Guy (2021)
Concept: Great, Script: Terrible
Concept is really good, and Ryan Reynolds delivers his goofy persona well. The script, on the other hand, was pretty damn poor. The dialogue seemed more like a teen's first draft full of twilight cliché, and the feminism injection of women so smart, men so dumb and in most cases, evil, kinda ruined it.
The Witcher (2019)
Season 2 really has made it
Season 1 was okay. They played with the storyline too much and made the whole thing confusing with ridiculous CGI. The whole thing just seemed like a "yeah ill watch it but nothing more". Season 2 however, wow. It feels as if the writers read the criticism and took it on board and have produced a cohesive and understandable follow up. Bravo, that rarely ever happens. The acting has improved, the characters have improved, the sets have improved, and overall believability has improved, but most importantly, the writing has vastly improved.
The only thing i have to comment that is even slightly negative is the fact Ciri looks like she just walked out of the make up room.
The Wheel of Time: The Flame of Tar Valon (2021)
Perpetual Motion discovered on earth!
Yes you heard that right, we discovered it! Scientists have attached an alternator to Robert Jordan's grave and it has not stopped spinning!
This entire series is an abomination. Why are the (hack) "writers" doing this? Why did they take the source material and say "nope"? They want to be the next thrones? Well, let me remind them that dumb and dumber couldnt write original material for -insert here-, but when they actually had material they followed it pretty closely. Until they ran out of the material you could follow the books as well as the show because it was rich enough to convert. That is why it was so popular. This should be thrown into the abortion bucket. Don't wear other people's skin.
South Park: Post Covid (2021)
Not exactly the South Park I remember
I still enjoy South Park but with these covid episodes they sound more like Democrat shills instead of the neutral mock everyone and everything.
Take for example their utter resistance in mocking Sleepy Creepy Joe but will still mention the Orange Man. The utter mountain of material i would expect to come from them is absent. Why? And then regurgitate the "must take the vaxx to end the pandemic" which is simply untrue, and only pedalled by Democrats. I am not saying they cant have this, but for what i used to remember of South Park, they would have written the counter instead of a one way sick bucket. It is similar to the new age of SNL where the jokes are no longer jokes, rather they are narrative driven statements and need a big "applause" sign to tell the audience when to clap.
Can we just go back to the old SP when the stories were short and not bogged down by current narrative? Can we have a film with Adam Sandler as a golden retriever and Rob Schnider as a carrot?
But if they are going to continue down the road of jamming politics into each episode, at least have Grandpa as Sleepy Joe Biden, although i wonder whether they will get their permission slips signed by their Democrat overlords.
The Wheel of Time (2021)
This is a B movie wearing Robert Jordan's skin
This is not the Wheel of Time. Anyone who has not read the books, please understand, this is a disaster. The only resemblance to what Robert Jordan created is the names and that is it. I hope all those who have read the books are in the same camp as I with how insulting this is.
The writers political agendas have torn up the pages of the source material. The Dragon Reborn cannot be a woman. Period. Done. There was no reason at all for changing that crucial part other than an agenda.
This show is pathetic.
The Wheel of Time: A Place of Safety (2021)
This show is just trash
I've read the books, Amazon have insulted them with absolute trash. The writers are incompetent, fire them. The actors are made of wood and incapable of authentic delivery. Also Where's Tom's white whiskers?
And worst of all, that barmaid was insufferable, but i know why. The writers got in their circle jerk and came up with a StRoNg WoMaN (STROOOOONG WOOOOMAN) because mandated "diversity" is more important than integrity. If the absolute failures who wrote this trash reads this, if you ever want to adapt books into tv series, how's about you actually read them and understand them. Then again, as I've said, ive read the books at a cost of a couple of quid, amazon wasted millions on something no one will watch after the 5th episode. Hard fail.
Dave Chappelle: The Closer (2021)
Its alright
As a red coated british gent with many spices from foreign lands, i always notice differences between British stand up comedy and American comedy. Seems that American people of colour always focus on race which becomes a bit stale when every comedian does it (Chris Rock etc.) But tbh its still funny. For Brit comedy it's very much parody of modern life and small inconveniences of existence, whereas american is very culture wars and tribal politics. Dave Chappelle brings the culture wars full heat and blasts some edgy jokes. Some come off hilarious, some kinda stale. Would recommend any one watch and especially those who are easily triggered, because it will trigger then.
Ojing-eo geim (2021)
Great until the latter part of the season
The series is great and worth the watch. I have to admit I already called the twist by the second episode, but the journey was great. The latter part of the season lost its way with some heavy cringe characters but I'll look past that. My biggest gripe comes with the latter part becoming cliché and in violation of what previous episodes had laid down, as in everyone has a fair shot at winning whereas the game they played was in gross violation of that (episode 7). Give it a watch though.
Ojing-eo geim: VIPS (2021)
Great season, awful episode
Really liking this, however this episode broke a lot of the show for me. First, the VIPs are cringe as hell. There was no need to have that level of trash, could have made them just as mysterious as the head guy. The second was the violation of their own rules. They clearly stated everyone has equal footing to succeed, but to have the 50/50 chance of tile jumping, meaning only those behind would ever win, is not equal and is entirely stacked against those in front. Then, based on the fairness of the game, they alter the rules half way through on the fact one of them is better than the others. It was the equivalent of having a rock climbing competition and removing the fingers of the 10 times champion. Not cool, but hey, I'm enjoying the journey.
The Fall (2013)
Men are evil. Women are genius with big brain
Eh, really enjoyed the spector character although too much gloomy scenes around the family. It seems Anderson's character just banged every male in the office. Show lost me when they whinged on about misogyny and further dragged it out with evil men. So evil. Hate men. Must make tv program about evil men. Grrrrr. Men. Woman better. Men touch no no square. Women make unicorn. Women make world go better. Women solve case. Men go durrrrrrr.
Real Dictators (2020)
Great podcasts
Great podcast, it would really suit some visuals but i am not going to complain.
Vikings: Invasion (2014)
Again, the Vikings are so totally invincible it's actually boring
So the Wessex bois catch the Vikings off guard, and wow in a complete plot twist they totally lose zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. These battle sequences are an absolute bore fest. There's no stakes or tension. This whole thing is just plot armour. I mean come on, they got the drop on them with archers and like 5 vikings die while the rest take a leisurely stroll to grab their shields and then the vikings totally destroy Wessex United. If this is what people have been raving on about then I'm sure they'd be better off watching marvel because it's the exact same script
Vikings: A King's Ransom (2013)
Invincible Vikings, pub team Saxons
Winds me up a bit that they expect us to swallow such tripe. An army defeated by posting little to no sentries so the Vikings can just trot in all big and tough, and the saxons barely put up a single bit of fight. Seems to be a case of "the plot demands it" rather than anything remotely believeable. I'm trying to get into this show but the invincible Vikings shrouded in plot armour in kinda ruining it a bit
Game of Thrones: The Long Night (2019)
Everything but that ending
So, where to begin. Although some shots were too dark to really see, I was at the edge of my seat. The army of death was running riot with quite literally no hope of salvation. All the main characters were completely overrun and seconds from death. The night king was winning by a landslide. Then John is dismounted and we all know it's about to happen, the most epic one v one battle of the century. Nope, just as bran is a gonner Arya runs out of the mist and bam, everything is over and we all go home. I feel robbed of an ending. The night king should have won with the few remaining retreating to kings landing. Instead we get this. All that build up. All that suspense silently growing throughout the program, wasted by that. I need a beer
Black Summer (2019)
Why do writers always waste such potential
The direction and acting in this is pretty good. I like the cinematography and general theme. However, this show is completely let down by the writers. Not the general storyline, that's okay, it's the fact they've made all the characters incredibly dumb. Imagine you are in a zombie apocalypse, what's the first thing you arm yourself with? A weapon of course. The writers made their characters incapable of wielding one or when they eventually get one, choose the most useless for the application. For example, at a truck stop, they choose a frying pan, a fire extinguisher and a short meat mallet. Then, after things happen and move on wandering out into the streets, none of them hold a weapon. Furthermore, in the event of giving a pursuing zombie the slip, no one, and I mean absolutely no one, stands in the middle of the street shouting "hello?". Then there's a Korean woman who doesn't speak any English, how the hell did she end up in the American suburbs?!?!?
Troy: Fall of a City (2018)
BBC seriously ruined this
So. ...where do i begin....
Acting: terrible
Direction: terrible
Script: terrible
Pacing: terrible
The only redeeming feature was that they couldn't mention brexit
To be honest they should have just filmed a forest for an hour as it would be just as wooden as the acting.
*knocks man off horse* "hey......what are you doing......