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Reviews
Yeti: A Love Story (2006)
"movie" is the wrong word for this
I love bad, campy movies so much that an employee at my neighborhood video store told me I just had to see "Yeti: A Love Story." I thought maybe I'd discovered another "Shock Treatment" or "Female Trouble," something low-budget, awful and yet wonderful.
Wrong. And having just lost 1.5 hours and $3.50 to "Yeti," I'm offering up this comment to counter-balance the other IMDb review, which is so sycophantic that it must have been written by the director's mother (it's clearly not authored by the director himself, as it exhibits far more cogency and editing than anything evidenced by "Yeti.") Spoiler Below: This isn't really a movie. It's a long, tedious and painful video shot by some narcissist who thinks his friends are hilarious, and his vision is worthy of other people's time, yet "Yeti" display no attention to the technical aspects of movie making (and I don't mean high-brow film making, but basic stuff, like microphones so the watcher can hear what's being said on-screen) that would make his movie possible to endure. Twisted gay sex between a closeted frat douche and a mythological creature could be funny, campy, obscene, even arousing, or at least interesting, but this was just boring or painful to watch. A fight scene between a manic-fingering "Piss God" and lipstick lezzie ninjas could totally save a movie, but not in fatuous version presented here.
Apart from Hugh (1994)
amateur, yet endearing
I've given this film 7 out of 10 starts because it has told a story that doesn't get told very much, but gosh, it feels like a student film. The dialogue was most objectionable in its hallow and stilted attempts to depict real life casual communication. I cringed quite a few times for such a short movie, and I think that the script needed a workshop or something.
*** Spoilers below ***
Nonetheless, in the time that's passed since I saw the movie, what has stuck with me is not the risible dialogue but rather the moving conflict at the heart of the movie, that the younger partner in a gay couple is having serious second thoughts, while the older partner is planning an anniversary party. The film handles dramatic irony well, and it's tense and painful to watch Hugh, the lovable older partner, preparing a party in honor of his beloved, when we know that his world is about to end.
It's an honest and genuine depiction of unrequited love, or at least unsure love.
The plot between the gay couple is balanced by the introduction of a friend from the past, Frieda. On the one hand, Frieda was portrayed by the cast's most talented actress. Her screen time was a relief from the stilted scenes with the two men. Her character was also interesting, in relief to the domestic and mundane gay couple's life. On the other hand, her character was also so clichéd: She's whimsical! She wears stripes during the day, and polka dots at night! She even shoplifts! She shoplifts polka dot high heels to match her whimsical dress! She drinks too much! Maybe in 1994 her outer trappings were less clichéd. Trappings aside, her character shine in this black and white movie.
The DVD I watched also contained an 8 minute short, "Love and Deaf," which was just about the sweetest things I've ever seen. It made me smile all day.
The Wicker Man (2006)
are negative stars possible?
I'm writing this review in the hope that I might save someone else from seeing this movie.
I love suspense, and I love Nic Cage. I also like schlok and cheese. The Wicker Man missed on every count.
It's not bad, it's horrible. It's not interesting, but rather tedious, boring and insufferable. It's not so-bad-it's-good, it's just so-so-so bad. Oh, and it's long. At least 40 minutes could be excised and the "plot" would not suffer because there is no plot.
Really. It's not frightening, it's not suspenseful, it's stupid.
And the script is woeful.
Leaving the theatre last night, I stopped in the lobby and yelled for people not to see it. My date was mortified, but I feel a sense of duty to warn folks away from this movie.