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Bubsy (1993)
Cartoon crimes # 4 bubsy pilot (AKA everything could go possibly wrong)
this pilot IS ABHORENT so we start with a theme song probably written by someone with ADHD who drank to much coffee spat it all over the reel and spilled sugar on it yes that bad it makes fanboy and chum chum look like meditation also the what could possibly go wrong counters on 2 times oh and the title of the episode is that stupid saying that adds 1 more what could possibly go wrong so inside his house which is drawn like the theme by the way oh and he has a sidekick Arnold armadillo who is afraid of trucks and gets tortured by bubsy woo boy this is a looooooooooong day you know that also bubsy has an ego a big big ego so more Arnold torture and some more bubsy ego and the two single most annoying twins come along and make me go bonkers so bubsy rats out Arnold and the twins grab him from under the couch and torture home some more and bubsy watches TV which tortures Arnold even more as it plays to his fear of trucks and the twins use Arnold as a ball filler filler this filler filler that and we finally get the plot in gear so some guys invented an imagination helmet and is very annoying also I think they predicted VR also more Arnold torture 4 what could possibly go wrongs so stereotypical villain with two dumb henchmen make the scene so we get bubsy doing dumb crap with helmet what could possibly go wrong has been said 5 times the truck returns and Arnold gets tortured and the annoying kids steal the helmet also they stole this from the adventures of sonic the hedgehog the sound mixing is awful I want rip my ears off also what could possibly go right so the annoying twins mess with the henchmen so at this point oop six what could possibly go wrongs they have turned the lab into a coaster and ran over Arnold so more stupid black and white gags seven what could possibly go wrongs so they hit bubsy which is so satisfying so they make more roller coaster things and drive us nuts so they act like brats so 8 more what could possibly go wrongs sigh I give up I am done
Fanboy & Chum Chum: Freezy Freaks/Microphonies (2012)
Cartoon Crimes #3 Freezy Freaks
OK so this episode is just well just OK LETS NOT BEAT AROUND THE BUSH THIS EPISODES AWFUL so we begin with annoying sounds and bad CG and this is something I want to talk about the CG IS ATROCIOUS TO THE POINT OF BEING UNCANNY VALLEY the eyes are to big the teeth look like toothpaste doesn't exist but rants over and so they talk about Freezy some stupid mascot meant to sell more drinks and the voice acting is so atrocious that I want to shove sticks in my ears no kidding so they talk about Freezy some more and an annoying sound here and a poorly animated human there WE FINALLY START SEEING THE PLOT and it's terrible oh yeah and one guy I don't care about is in the Freezy costume wonder what's going to happen next (sarcasm intended) oh yeah and the cars a rocket because why not so our two morons see the guy in the Freezy costume and start hallucinating him to be the actual mascot also he kicks them and in the vain of boo from monsters inc they appear behind him only it isn't funny of enjoyable so they push a button that makes the costume play music and they hallucinate in the vain of a drug addict they dance around with they're victim And torture him also they nearly drown him because that's funny right RIGHTπ‘π‘π‘π‘π‘ then basically froze him then the tortured him some more oh yeah and his arms are alive also who delivers the paper in the middle of the night then there thought bubble chases them because episode wasn't done yet and they needed to flesh it out oh and arm ex machina oh yeah and now it wants to be a B horror movie also who puts a convenience store jingle on the radio also someone explain this dream bubble concept to me so fanboy and chum chum throw him off the cliff and he looks like another mascot the end
Teen Titans Go!: Cool School (2015)
Cartoon Crimes #2 Cool School
OK so this terrible episode is absolutely pathetic THIS SHOW IS ABSOLUTELY PATHETIC so this episode starts with the villain beating the characters WITH INSULTS so of course raven becomes friends with the villain after flanderizing robin into a idiot IE you are supposed to be in jail We are taking the long way so they decide to go to cool school taught by a little blue square with glasses did I mention I hate this show also the animation is A JOKE it will give me a seizure if I watch anymore ACK ACK CHOKE know after the hospital picked me up I decided to watch more so I came back to bad rap did these guys go to cool school or FOOL SCHOOL OK cut me some slack i have been in the hospital for a month and Why does starfire have a MOUSTACHE later we get a boring montage more robins a flanderized idiot jokes which have been going on for half the episode and ARE NOT FUNNY also the way they use modern slang is the cringiest thing ever oh look we said brah (is that how you spell it) we are so hip also they said I wear my sunglasses at night because kids are so in touch with Corey hart also this is a filler episode then boring climax later fudged moral where they kill the villain with kindness MAN THIS EPISODE IS TERRIBLE also vomit gross out THREE TIMES IN A ROW then this ridiculous pink heart envelopes the titans and punches rose off the screen THEN MORE ROBINS A BRAINLESS IDIOT JOKES all in all awful episode 0/10π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘
SpongeBob SquarePants: Keep Bikini Bottom Beautiful/A Pal for Gary (2010)
Cartoon crimes #1 a pal for Gary spongebob
OK so for the pilot of my new series cartoon crimes I am reviewing a pal for Gary. OH MAN is this episode bad it starts with filler which goes on for 30 seconds of the episode So the plot which I use very loosely is about spongebob feeling that Gary will be lonely when he's at work even though he's had the snail for years and hasn't felt it before but oh well I'm I'm just being nitpickey so yeah so blah blah blah filler at work and random garbage that sets the awful plot into action then on the way home he sees a gypsy selling pets and buys one literally ignoring the shopkeeper and walking off without paying man I hate this episode so suddenly in a sweep of graceful animation the thing grows a thousand teeth and spongebob starts being an oblivious jerk and there's the problem it's nothing more then the sponge being a jerk to his favorite pet so after a lot of spongebob is a jerk moments then the creature evolves into the night and man is the animation disgusting later sponge bob crosses the line BY TELLING GARY TO PUT THE CREATURE FROM HECK DOWN EVEN THOUGH IT IS GLARINGLY OBVIOUS THAT GARY IS BEING EATEN then we get a kick in the Pants ending where SPONGEBOB CHEWS OUT GARY AND DEPRIVES HIM OF HIS TIME awful episode 0/10