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Reviews
The Marvels (2023)
Disappointing
I know some of these characters don't get a lot of love, but, personally, I liked the Captain Marvel movie & Ms. Marvel series. So, naturally, I was really looking forward to the Marvels. Unfortunately it was a major letdown.
For starters, this movie was cut to $&*#. Seriously, the editing job on this film was the worst I've ever seen. There are abrupt transitions where you ask yourself 'how did they get there' or 'when did these guys connect' or 'wait, she was just really sad/mad but now everything is fine', including a scene where the main characters face the big bad. It was jarring, and completely inexplicable. You can also tell that a lot of the backstory scenes were cut, because I feel like we were never really shown much about the motivations or history of the generic bad guy. This is the first time I can recall ever noticing the editing being an issue, outside of an indie horror film.
Second, the acting was soooooooo wooden. I especially like how Ms. Marvel has been portrayed, but even her scenes fell flat. The characteristic Marvel humor felt out of place, or maybe mis-timed. Honestly it just seemed like everyone was phoning it in.
Lastly, I won't spoil the credit's scene, which was cool, but it had the worst CGI that I've come across in an MCU project.
Feel free to skip this one.
Hell House LLC Origins: The Carmichael Manor (2023)
A return to form
Loved it. This entry was almost as good as the original, and way better than the prior sequels. The premise is that three people decide to spend five nights in a haunted mansion as part of an investigation for their website. Hijinks ensue. Gradually, elements of the story and the house are loosely connected to the Abbadon Hotel lore. I don't know how necessary this was, but I do know that it was, at times, confusing. The movie does a great job of being atmospheric and creepy, with plenty of jump scares. There are several 'there is no way that any human being would continue this course of action' moments, but it's the nature of the genre, and wasn't too distracting.
In summary this exceeded my expectations!
Talk to Me (2022)
Really different
This is one of the most unique horror films I've seen in years. The plot is relatively simple: teens get their hands on a mysterious embalmed hand that allows them to see and chat with the dead. Predictably, they do not use this ability responsibly, and they end up breaking the 'rules'. Hijinks ensue. There are a couple of gruesome scenes that aren't for the faint of heart, but they are thankfully brief. I wouldn't say the level of scares is very high, but it does a good job of delivering a few jump scares, being atmospheric, and leaning into its concept. Excellent, highly recommend to any aficionado of the genre.
House of Darkness (2022)
Worth watching
Not going to be anyone's idea of a classic, but it's a lot better than the rating suggests. Guy goes home with an attractive, mysterious lady that lives in a mansion in the middle of nowhere. Most of the film is their dialogue, and how the situation gradually unsettles him. It's a slow burn, with tension building to the very end. There's virtually no action and no jump scares, so it's not going to be for everyone. Some people seem to be complaining that the protagonist was unlikeable. A bit, but that's by design. He's meant to come across a little douchy...a little cringey. Predictable? Yes. Enjoyable? Also yes.
Halloween Ends (2022)
If you love the Halloween franchise do not see this movie
No. No. Just...wtf! How could anyone make this movie? The only possible explanation is that the director secretly hated the series and wanted to ruin it for everyone.
I don't want to spoil it for those that don't heed my warning, so I'll just tell you this: this movie completely disrespects the characters, traditions, and established character behavior patterns that we've come to know & love. Also Michael Myers is barely even a part of the movie. After an hour in we've only seen him once for about 15 seconds.
This trilogy started awesomely, but got worse as it went on. This movie is the worst of them. The worst Halloween movie ever, full stop. I'm looking forward to a retcon.
Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022)
Not as bad as everyone says, but yeah...it's not good
Well...that was disappointing. Where to begin my list of grievances? First, the run time appears to be even shorter than advertised, and everything felt really rushed. Mostly the dialogue was okay, but there was some really cringey bits. For example, one of their group was killed, and a member of the group, inspecting the corpse, remarks that the wounds were fresh. Well, they had seen their friend less than five minutes ago, so I'm not sure that was a necessary observation.
There was virtually no exposition, and the characters were remarkably uncurious about this demonic creature chasing them. The Creeper didn't act in a way consistent with prior established patterns. The plot to defeat the Creeper was ridiculous and required the group to know things they couldn't know, and anticipate the behaviors of a creature that they couldn't possibly anticipate, and for a regular girl with no training to pull off moves like a member of Seal Team 6 that also used to be a ninja. And it still required a huge amount of luck.
Honestly it felt like a group of high school students were given a decent budget and told to make a Jeepers Creepers movie. But only one of them had seen any of the prior installments, and he only sort of remembered the basics, but enough to get the gist of it.
Prey (2022)
Truly Excellent!
This. This is how you do a Predator movie. We don't need fancy technology. We don't need a complicated plot. We need atmosphere & tension, and a big ugly alien stalking the most dangerous game.
This movie was extremely well executed. Easily the best since the original. They should make 10 more movies with variants of the same plot, set in different periods. I'd watch them all.
The Last Kingdom (2015)
Imperfect, but entertaining
The good: Excellent casting, excellent acting, very interesting premise, and realistic battle scenes.
The bad: The writing is a bit soft; the drama...the conflicts...can be so contrived. The writers decide that there should be conflict between two characters and so they create threadbare justifications for the conflict...situations that strain credulity and are inconsistent with their previously established behaviors. They don't allow things the time to develop organicaly.
All in all, definitely worth a watch.
Blood Red Sky (2021)
Woah!!
Easily the best vampire movie in years! If you're a fan of the genre you'll love this. Think '30 Days of Night' but on a plane.
Werewolves Within (2021)
Classic whodunnit
This is a fun little werewolf movie that's more of a whodunnit than your classic werewolf trope. It doesn't take itself too seriously, but without being campy. It's neither horror nor comedy...more of a mystery. Go in with the right expectations and you're likely to enjoy it.
Black Widow (2021)
Where's the love?
I don't get the hate of this movie from the negative reviews - personally, I loved it! Great mix of character development, action, humor, human moments, and an intriguing plot. Ignore the hate - give it a go!
A Quiet Place Part II (2020)
Better than the original
You don't often come across a sequel that outshines the original, but A Quiet Place II pulls it off. I love the fact that it literally picks up minutes after the conclusion of the previous movie. Great acting, great plot, great pacing. Just a really entertaining movie!
Before Dawn (2013)
Much better than the rating suggests
If you're a fan of the genre don't pass this one up.
Shadow in the Cloud (2020)
Simultaneously good & bad
I was really looking forward to this movie, but before I got to see it the negative reviews started pouring in. At first I was dissuaded, but I ultimately talked myself into giving it a chance. For the first 30 minutes of the movie I was saying to myself 'I don't know what those negative reviewers are talking about, this is great!'. The set up was original, and you could feel the tension. But after watching a little more I was saying to myself 'Oh, yeah, there it is, it makes sense now'.
The movie really struggles with an identity. It's like they decided to switch gears for every act. That's it's main problem. A close second is that there's a few really over the top action sequences that would've seemed ridiculous if you had seem them performed by Tom Cruise's super spy character in the Mission Impossible series, and they certainly have no place in a movie like this, where the characters are normal people. It really took me out of the movie.
There were some script problems as well - the behavior of the flight crew wasn't believable, the reason for getting the main character onto the flight in the first place, and how the threat-level of the monster changed as the movie's focus changed. One thing that sticks out is that after the main character's first serious encounter with the monster, she literally doesn't even mention it to the rest of the crew, who remain blissfully unaware of the magnitude of the threat. It's really really hard to swallow.
Still, that said, the movie is certainly entertaining, and that's good enough for a passing grade - 6 out of 10.
Yummy (2019)
Good, nearly great
Big, big fan of the zombie genre. You might say that I'm a bit of an aficionado. Though I enjoy almost all of the sub-genres, I nearly passed over Yummy because the reviews painted it more as a zom-com, and that didn't suit my mood at the moment. I'm glad I took chance, because I don't quite agree with the characterization.
First, this is not a low-budget, poorly made movie. The special effects are as good as any I've seen. Kudos to the producers for that! Yummy does struggle a bit with settling on an identity, but I would classify it as a serious entry in the genre, with comedic elements. Honestly I would've preferred the movie without the comedic elements...had they stuck to the serious I'd say the movie would fit nicely into the genres top-tier, which is high praise. As is, it's still an excellent movie, albeit with some head scratching moments that just didn't quite land.
If you enjoy a good zombie movie, don't pass on this one.
Deadsight (2018)
Better than the rating suggests
I very nearly skipped this movie because of the low rating and super cheesy cover art. Glad I didn't! I really don't understand the hate for this movie, it's much better than the rating suggests. Yes it's a bit on the lower budget side, but the production values are pretty good. It's a slow burner and relies more on atmosphere than the usual installments in the genre. There are very few characters - the story is set around a very recently blinded man and a very pregnant lady. The ending was predictable, but if you're a fan of the genre you're likely forgiving of such things. The acting & special effects were fine. It's not the best zombie movie you'll ever see, but it's pretty good. If you're a fan of the genre don't skip this one.
Jeruzalem (2015)
I don't understand the hate for this movie...
I thought this movie was amazing! Not sure why the rating here is so low... I nearly skipped it. Glad I didn't! It was eerie and set the right atmosphere from the very beginning. There's a bit of a slow burn after the initial set-up but once the action starts it doesn't let up. The religious subject matter felt fresh in this context and added to a sense of existential dread, and the special effects worked for me. I absolutely loved it right up to and including the ending. A very cool approach to a classic found-footage final scene.
If you're a fan of the Found-Footage horror genre, like I am, you're likely to appreciate this film. Don't let the low rating discourage you.
Dug Up (2013)
Don't be fooled
As a zombie movie afficionado, I had high hopes for this one based on a 6.5 rating and one of the reviewers saying that it was better than Zombieland. It was not. This is obviously one of those movies with fake reviews skewing the rating. It's borderline unwatchable. The acting is terrible. The fake southern accents are the worst I've ever heard. The set-up was ridiculously long.
Just don't.
Patient Zero (2018)
A lot better than reviews suggest
I really don't understand why all the hate for this movie - I'd describe it as above average for the genre, with an excellent cast and solid production values. If you like the zombie/infected genre - as I do - you're likely to enjoy this one.