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Reviews
Wanted (2008)
All the plot structure of The Matrix, and a little Fight Club, dressed up like Shoot 'Em Up doesn't make this any good.
I never write reviews on IMDb. It takes too long. But this movie blanked me off.
The entire plot structure is stolen from The Matrix, and I mean directly ripped off. Some loser finds out he's one-in-a-million with super crazy powers and he must join a group of people who will train him to use these powers against evil, etc. It doesn't stop there though. Angelina-Trinity saves his life and takes him to Morpheus Freeman who explains 'their secret world' to him and through brutal training he teaches him to dodge bullets, or in this case make bullets dodge other things. Same story.
The action is fun enough I guess but it's almost all CGI and feels very fake. I liked it better in Shoot 'Em Up when the crazy blank was tongue in cheek. Here, we're just supposed to accept their mind-bending reality without question AND it gets real serious sometimes. You can't have both, seriously.
There are many other really obvious blank-ups here if you pay attention, pick 'em out for yourself cause I won't list 'em all.
Bottom Line: You never find out anything about these people or why they are assassins or who their boss is, etc. If you really wanna see this for the action my comments aren't gonna stop ya. Some of the scenes are kinda fun, but as a whole this movie is very hollow, and nothing I'll watch twice.
Korn: Who Then Now? (1997)
The good ol' days
I'm not some raving fan throwing 10/10 around lightly, but this short home video is just so goddamn good.
I can't remember what year I bought this, presumably in '97 when it came out, which would make me... 13 at the time. And I was so psyched. As a huge KoRn kid this was the damn Bible for me. These guys look like they're havin so much fun doin' their thing, you just wish you could have been there to see it all happen.
Of course there's the inclusion of a few great early videos from the band, but I found myself enjoying the behind the scenes footage much more. There's no pretension, no arrogance, just straight up goofy behaviour from a bunch of fun dudes who (used to) write heavy-as-balls tunes.
You'll find yourself laughin your ass off one minute and bobbing your head the next. Over and over. The editing is phenomenal. Keeps you glued to the screen till the last frame. An essential for anyone who's ever had a fleeting interest in the band. The early days were surely the best. Who's left now? 3 of the original 5? It's hard to look these days.
Hellraiser: Hellseeker (2002)
I got an IMDb account purely to bash this movie.
What can be said that hasn't already been said?
I've been on a bit of a Hellraiser tangent lately and have NEVER been this let down, even after #3. My breakdown of the films are pretty much the same as everyone else. 1-Classic. Can't be touched. (10) 2-Awesome, continues story very well. (9) 3-Totally goofy, nonsensical dumb 80's fun that should have been a Nightmare on Elm Street movie. (4) 4. Not bad, too sci-fi, looks like a TV movie. (6) 5. Pretty dang good, actually somewhat creepy. The best since #2. (8) 6. Terrible. (2)
Sorry this review isn't very well written, but i JUST saw this thing and I want to trash it hard.
Everything that could go wrong in this film does. Kirsty's back, and so I'm thinking "Hey cool, another back-and-forth between her and Pinhead". Only by the time that actually (sorta) happens I could not give a crap (IMDB won't let me swear) about anything in this movie. And her acting it's terrible compared to the first 2. She seems bored, not scared, etc.
The main character is a joke. Same blank expression on his face for the entire film. And his actions make no damn sense. If you kept waking up in strange places every 5 minutes would you just go on about your day and pretend it never happened? Well he does, over and over again. Must take a pretty relaxed guy to not mind something like that, especially when dead bodies start showing up.
I think what really makes me hate this movie so much is that there was NO reason for it to be labeled as a Hellraiser. Pinhead shows up once in a while, but it might as well be anyone speaking his lines. I didn't see anyone unlock the box until near the end (in one of the hundreds of flashbacks), and it's KIRSTY! I don't care what kind of argument you're in with your husband, you would never call demons upon yourself just to shut him up. And another thing, when she offers Pinhead a bargain of 5 souls in exchange for hers he TAKES THE OFFER! Is my memory all messed up or did he not agree to any bartering in the first OR second film?
Oh god, I wish I'd run out of steam on this but there's so much more.
The film was badly thought out, badly written, badly shot, badly acted, and even the special effects were below average. Even at the cheapest looking moments in this franchise I've seen better, or at least more interesting visuals. Terrible CGI effects throughout, don't' expect ANY fun violence. They seem to try to make up for the loss of blood with the injection of way to much sex. This guy seems to be getting laid by every woman in town, while he's crazy no less.
There is NOTHING good to take away from this, and I'm very lenient on horror films, especially in the Hellraiser series. This piece of garbage is devoid of everything the original stood for, and Clive Barker is, I'm sure, very ashamed at this bit of nonsense.
OK, I'm done. What a wasted night.
By the way, it makes me sick to see the glowing reviews on this film, obviously from those involved with it's promotional team. Please IMDb, carefully look at when these people created their accounts in relation to the date the movie was released. There is no doubt in my mind that these are forgeries. For God's sake, they all have the same headline: "The best since Hellbound". No it is not, it is the worst in the series. I hope 7 and 8 are even remotely better.