ace_ryan Reviews

Sinderella Live (1995 Video)

Absolutely Hilarious

[10/10 · 25 July 2021]

Dirty, British humour at its best. The fact that out of the whole cast practically only Cinderella and Prince Charming are the only ones who actually seemed to be following the script like normal and that, according to my friend, at least Jim and Charlie Drake were tipsy throughout just makes the rest of the show even funnier, you never knew what was going to be said.

What makes this even more brilliant is just how much of it they got away with, the majority of the jokes both scripted and unscripted I think it's fair to say would not have been aired if this was done today. The stand out characters are definitely Baron Hard-On and the ugly step sisters, their goofs and unscripted moments are some of the funniest in the whole show that not only get me and the audience laughing but also any cast members sharing the stage with them in the scene, Jim Davidson is probably the most naughty with his jokes I am convinced he wasn't following the script 98% of the show with his best moment being right after the sisters rip up Cinderella's ticket it had me laughing so much I fell off my chair and made my sides ache.

If you're easily offended and don't like dirty humour or even dirty British humour then you shouldn't watch this but otherwise this is a genuinely laugh out loud show you must watch.

Godzilla vs. Kong (2021)

#ContinueTheMonsterverse

[8/10 · 3 April 2021]

Let's start off with saying storylines and human characters have never been the strongest point of any Godzilla movie nor is it the reason people want to watch a Godzilla movie, it may have a popular rising star like Milly Bobbie Brown in it but she's definitely not why someone will be going to watch this movie, you're also not getting a deep Oscar-worthy plot so don't go into it expecting one

All the proper kaiju fans still here now? Yes? Good...this movie delivers, big time! The CGI on both the Titans is incredibly well done and detailed, their movement is so fluid and lifelike thus adding to the spectacle of the fights and yes I said fights because rather than the slow build up to a brief scuffle like in Dawn of Justice this movie does not waste time getting to the first fight and before you know it the huge second fight begins afterwards and unlike the 1962 original there is an actual definitive winner in the end

Now yes I said nobody goes for the plot or the humans but both were definitely a step back from the pretty decent cast and story we had in King of the Monsters which is what stops me rating this higher but ultimately this is without a doubt the best of the Monsterverse and deserves to be continued, if certain people are campaigning for a cinematic universe with a toxic behind the scenes environment to continue well then we deserve this one to continue (at least we weren't review bombing one movie to keep ours going)

Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)

Robin's Finest

[10/10 · 23 January 2021]

An average score of 7 out of 10? Seriously!? This comedy classic is well deserving of the highest ratings, any low scores (looking at you Roger Ebert, though not the only time your "professional opinion" has been wrong) are just wrong Anyhow, this is undoubtedly Robin's finest work and the best example of his physical and vocal comedy, the best example of his energy and improvisational skills all while reigning it in for the necessary emotional serious scenes and really pulls on your heartstrings (having grown up with divorced parents myself, this hits home harder than most) It is a shame a sequel was never done but I'm so glad there's been no rumours of a reboot or remake as the charm would not be there especially without Robin with us I cannot recommend this movie enough, it's got humour, heart and the unbeatable talents of Robin Williams a true comedic genius may he rest in peace

Alien TV (2019–2021)

Goofy Extra-terrestrial Comedy

[10/10 · 28 November 2020]

It's pretty obvious that I, a 25 year old, am not the target demographic for this Netflix series. That being said, this is still some brilliantly done comedy that is entirely based upon visual gags as opposed to spoken jokes. The whole idea is of three little aliens documenting the everyday activities of human beings on Earth and their misunderstanding or misinterpretations of instructions leading them to hilarious consequences and shenanigans followed by them reporting their findings to us as if we're other aliens learning about Earth all while speaking in their uniquely gibberish language. Is it educational? Absolutely not (but then again it wasn't trying to be) Is it very funny? Definitely just as long as you don't think of yourself too high-brow for some silly cartoon-y comedy. It won't be for everyone but it's harmless silly fun that is animated extremely well and performed brilliantly by it's three main leads

The Patriot (2000)

Patriot? More like "The Anti-Brit"

[2/10 · 26 October 2020]

My God this movie is just...just...bull****!!!!!

Whether it was going for not being a 100% historically accurate movie or not, the anti-Britishness in this movie is nauseatingly obvious and totally wrong. Were the British the kindest conquering nation? Of course not! You don't have the largest empire in history by being nice, we committed atrocities but to say we filled a church with civilians and burned it to the ground!? WHAT!?!? This was an act committed by the Nazis in France in the 1940s not the British in America in the 1770s, do you honestly think if we did anything like that we'd be allowed to forget it? Regardless of the relationship between UK and USA currently, America would hold such a crime against us until the end of time The movie is literally Braveheart in America and about as historically accurate For further information on how wrong this movie is and the actual facts, I highly recommend watching the History Buffs episode on this movie which is found on YouTube

On a slight positive note, the battle scenes are pretty impressive so that's something this movie has going for it and raises my score from a single star to 2.

Additional: those who mark this as unhelpful or scoff at this, you are genuinely part of the problem that creates these kind of movies. If you want movies based on historic events such as the Revolutionary War, do not support movies that stretch facts and events to the point they are no longer true, support those that create movies with actual truth in them. Emmerich has shown he CAN do movies that are historically accurate with Midway but still entertaining. Reality is stranger than fiction and there are historical events that sound made up but actually happened and deserve to be told without stretching the facts and giving the wrong impressions like The Patriot does.

Full Metal Jacket (1987)

Half decent, overrated movie

[5/10 · 14 March 2017]

Throughout cinematic history there have been films that have become classics, some have deserved it and others are wildly over-hyped. Sadly this movie is one such example of the latter. Truthfully they could've made the whole movie about the boot camp scenes as they're the only good parts of it. The boot camp shows how gruelling the training was, giving the impression it was worse than the actual war itself with a truly memorable appearance from R. Lee Ermey who you have to give praise to for improvising a lot if not all of his dialogue drawing from his experience as a real life drill sergeant around the time of the Vietnam War you do find yourself feeling sorry for Private Pyle who is the unfortunate SOB on the receiving end of Ermey's insults. However everything kind of goes downhill after Ermey's murder and Pyle's suicide in the bathroom halfway through. There is no excitement in the combat and nothing memorable in them whatsoever which is a shame. The movie could've been better either doing more for the combat scenes or been set entirely in the boot camp, ending just as they're being shipped off to Vietnam but alas it falls into that category of mine where a movie is so over-hyped that it just collapses upon watching.

Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare (2016 Video Game)

Unfair hatred for a decent game

[8/10 · 9 March 2017]

I'm going to start off by saying those who badmouth this game because it's set in the future and in space and use that as their excuse for hating the game are pathetic and acting childish. This game gained an unfair reputation when it was revealed as being the most disliked trailer of all time and most of the dislike was because of the setting, I've wanted Call of Duty to go to the Korean War but I don't go throwing my toys out the cot and having a tantrum, hitting the dislike button because it wasn't set then. If you just block out the hatred, sit down, boot up the game and play it you'll find it really isn't the worst video game ever made as everyone was making it out to be. The campaign is a different experience to ones we've had previously taking cues from Black Ops II four years previously but going with a semi- open galaxy campaign allowing you to fight on foot on different planets, strap into a Jackal and engage in Star Wars-style dogfights or boarding a SetDef capital ship to sabotage it or eliminate high ranking officers with the weapon customisation from Black Ops II and III also available before each mission. Multiplayer admittedly is a little underwhelming with only one or two minor additions from Black Ops III but it's still enjoyable, not better than say Black Ops II (the game I think had the best multiplayer experience of the franchise) but still playable. This game's zombies mode is also very enjoyable, while the Black Ops series version was dark and took itself quite seriously while still holding onto the absurdity of it and Advanced Warfare embraced the twist of having zombies as agile as you, Infinite Warfare zombies is goofy and colourful with some great challenges and the same weapon customisation as Black Ops III. The zombies themselves look so grotesque it's great, the detail on everything is astonishing and it brings new twists on the normal Call of Duty zombies formula that truly tests all types of zombies players. I've been a fan of the franchise for over 10 years and honestly I don't care when the franchise is set, there are conflicts and eras I'd like to visit in a CoD game granted but as long as I can fight enemies in first person no matter what they are I'm satisfied, I'm certainly proud to be one of the fans that is remaining loyal to the franchise and not dropping it because it's becoming "less and less like what it used to be"

The Love Guru (2008)

Not the best but heart was in the right place

[6/10 · 22 February 2017]

This movie I feel gets an unfair amount of hate directed at it. I'm going to start by saying this; is it the greatest comedy movie ever? Is is superior to Myers' Austin Powers franchise? No not by a long shot. Is it funny? Are there some good jokes that make you laugh or even just chuckle at? Yes. OK so Mike Myers plays Guru Maurice Pitka, the titular Love Guru, who is tired of being second best to Deepak Chopra but opportunity arises when he is approached to save the marriage of Toronto Maple Leafs hockey player Darren Roanoke and possibly get one up on Chopra. While helping Darren, Pitka learns the important age- old lesson of being himself instead of trying to be someone else. The film also stars Jessica Alba, Justin Timberlake, Ben Kingsley and Verne Troyer with cameos from various celebrities. I first saw this movie after watching the Austin Powers movies from a mate who said this was another comedy from Mike Myers. He loaned it to me and I really enjoyed it, I thought it was very funny two of my favourite moments come from the meeting in Coach Cherkov's (Verne Troyer) office and when Pitka tells Darren he can fight anyone for any reason then proceeding to muck around with Cherkov. It's only in the past couple years I learnt that it didn't go down well with others. Of course I defend it. As I already stated it's by no means the best comedy movie ever but it's enjoyable nonetheless. The only thing that brings it down for me is the fact kanye west appears in it, granted it's a small cameo but still he's a sight I'm sure no-one wanted to see in the movie. Ideally when watching this movie you'll want to ignore what others have said about it and just not think too much, you'll find some of the jokes offensive granted and think "wtf!?" with some moments but the rest you'll smirk, chuckle and even full on laugh at

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Disappointment

[3/10 · 1 February 2017]

First things first I want to clarify that yes I am a Marvel fan and that I cannot stand the character of batman (blame the fanboys) but I gave this movie a go because I actually want the DCEU to do well, I really do and with two of the biggest names in comic history this should've been one of the best movies of 2016...it was anything but that. The plot was very bland and somewhat predictable in some places despite some great visuals throughout and plenty of potential and it suffered from what I was afraid was going to happen; the movie focused too much on batman, Superman had fewer lines in his own movie than Spider-Man had in his brief 20-30 minutes on screen in "Captain America: Civil War" which is kind of embarrassing and makes Superman more of a cameo character than Spider-Man for their respective movies. Now despite my dislike of the character, I have to say Ben Affleck did a good job as batman he was certainly easier to understand than Christian Bale even with the voice changer in his costume, Henry Cavill again does a good job as Superman (despite his lack of lines) and Gal Gadot is of course on top form as Wonder Woman which certainly has me interested in her solo film coming out later this year. But while there are good casting choices there are bad and Jesse Eisenberg's Lex Luthor was exactly that, he was totally miscast he was so bratty and unlikable which has never been the case for me with Luthor, Gene Hackman and Kevin Spacey's portrayals actually left me liking them when I should've hated them because they were the villains which is how I always saw the character; he's not an in your face kind of villain he's charming and cunning much like Loki in "Avengers Assemble" or Moriarty in the "Sherlock" TV show. I have seen the extended cut of the movie also and that alone has bumped up the score to 3 stars because while it makes the film better it doesn't blow me away. As I previously said, with two of the biggest comic book characters ever in the same movie fighting this should've been a great second entry into the DCEU and be on par with "Captain America: Civil War" but it fell flat and truth be told it feels like the only people who adore the movie and give it 10 stars are younger kids, hardcore batman or DC fanboys because when it comes to the best comic book movies of 2016, BvS isn't even in the top 3. I can only hope "Wonder Woman" and "Justice League" restores faith in the DCEU otherwise they are doomed to mediocre theatrical releases and extended cuts released on DVD and Blu-Ray

Absolutely Anything (2015)

Funny British version of "Bruce Almighty"

[7/10 · 1 February 2017]

Simon Pegg, Robin Williams, John Cleese and the Monty Python gang are just some of the comedic talent in this movie. Now admittedly yes it is essentially a British remake of "Bruce Almighty" (which I absolutely love) and while it's not hilarious it is certainly very funny. So the plot in it's simplest form is Pegg's character is given the ability to do absolutely anything he wants by aliens looking to accept Earth into their alliance or destroy it and what follows are some rather funny outcomes. Now I am a fan of Simon Pegg partly because I was born in the same city as the actor and I genuinely find him very funny ("Shaun of the Dead" and "Paul" are two of my favourite comedy movies) and there's no question I adored Robin Williams so those two names drew me to want to see this movie and I was laughing at practically every joke in the movie. Now in truth the story could've been better but for what it's worth it isn't terrible. My only gripe with it is it should've been a "15" certificate due to the number of times the f-word is actually used in it and the brief nudity in one sequence (to put into perspective it was rated a 12A here in the UK which allows mild swearing, maybe one use of the f-word and implied nudity not in your face "those are definitely breasts" nudity) which certainly surprised the adults who had brought their young kids to see a movie with Robin Williams as a talking dog let me tell you. The movie is good, it is funny, is it the greatest comedy ever made? I'd have to say no, but it's a good movie for a chuckle and especially if you're a fan of any of the actors in the movie...just don't let your children watch it if you don't like them hearing the f-word or seeing naked breasts in a movie rated "12A" (or "PG-13" or the equivalent certificate if you're watching in another country).

Kubo and the Two Strings (2016)

Gorgeous animation, dull story and a bit over-hyped

[3/10 · 12 January 2017]

Initially I had no intention of watching this movie as there was nothing really screaming "you must watch this movie" to me but I had it on while in college one day and I can definitely say it was maybe a bit too over-hyped. Now I will say the animation is stunning, seeing how they created and animated the giant monster they battle was amazing and aside from the character played by Matthew McConaughey who was quite funny the story fell flat and the characters weren't all that likable to me, Kubo came off as bratty and the monkey was just irritating. This movie is called the greatest animated movie of 2016 but I'm sorry to say I do prefer Zootropolis and Finding Dory over this one, they had deep emotional stories whereas I think of lot of people didn't make it past the animation aspect of Kubo which for me is the only reason the movie isn't scored lower.

Shin Godzilla (2016)

Underwhelming kick in the Shin

[2/10 · 5 December 2016]

I've seen a number of the original Godzilla movies (difficult to do so as none of the Toho Godzilla movies aside from the 1954 original are sold in the UK on DVD or Blu-Ray) and for what they are they're good movies. Naturally I wanted to see this new one after all it's a giant dinosaur destroying a city what's not to love? Unfortunately I did not like this movie The biggest complaint of the 2014 movie from cinema-goers was how little of Godzilla we saw but that was the same case with this movie and when we did see him it was far from spectacular. The evolution of Godzilla was a nice idea going from this weird bug-eyed, belly slider with no arms to a more upright creature to the final form was a great new twist on the character but the monster's looks are lacking, I wasn't initially a fan of the rotting/decaying look with the beady eyes and needle teeth but I thought I'd warm up to it when I saw the movie...I didn't. And while it's good Japan went with a CGI monster instead of a rubber suit it wasn't great at all the movement was clunky and unnatural wasn't smooth in movement whereas the 2014 version, which is around the same size as ShinGoji I might add, was smooth and natural looking. One other critique with Godzilla is the atomic breath; the build up is alright (though the dislocating jaw is questionable) with the flames then the beam but the beams coming from his back and tail are just peculiar. Finally the story overall was just boring, I actually had to skip sections of the movie making this only the second time I've done so with a movie (the first being Thin Red Line which I found boring too) and the ending was lame very anti-climatic and could've been done a whole lot better I know many die-hard Godzilla fans will hate my opinions of the movie but what can you do? Japan could've done so much better than this. If Shin Godzilla was the answer to 2014's Godzilla well then I'm afraid this should've gone straight to voicemail

The Dark Knight (2008)

Incredibly Overrated and Over-hyped Movie

[3/10 · 25 October 2016]

Ask anyone on the street what the greatest comic book/superhero movie of all time is and they'll say "The Dark Knight". Ask me the same question and you won't get the same answer. If you want the same answer then ask me what the most overrated comic book/superhero movie of all time is and that's what you'll get. There's no denying comic book movies are the most popular type of movie in the last decade or two with Marvel and their cinematic universe dominating both the genre and the box office and they get a large amount of attention. But then there are movies within the genre that get too much attention. "The Dark Knight" is that movie. Now I've never been a fan of batman and dislike has grown because of the countless fanboys on social media making out that he is the greatest fictional character ever created and they always cite TDK as the greatest batman movie and greatest comic book movie ever made. So after talking with a friend, I decided to give it a watch and I was left confused, wondering how people bang on about how wonderful it is and rather underwhelmed by it. Christian Bale's batman was so difficult to understand without subtitles, the action was no different from any other superhero movie and the plot was nothing special. That being said, Two-Face was a good looking villain (better than Tommy Lee Jones' version) and as expected Heath Ledger's Joker was actually quite good, Joker is the only thing to do with batman I like and I've always loved Mark Hamill's Joker and Ledger's was a good 2nd place. As nasty as it sounds I feel a lot of the movie's success comes from the fact that Ledger died before the movie was released (I felt the same about the last "fast and furious" movie with Paul Walker), it's a good movie but better than other classic movies like the original "Superman" "Jurassic Park" "E.T." or "Back to the Future" as a lot of these fanboys suggest? No way whatsoever. Is it the best movie ever made of it's genre? Absolutely not. Should future movies be more like TDK? There are elements that can be adapted yes but no not every movie should be like TDK. Should the fanboys shut up entirely about the movie? Definitely.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

Terribly Overrated and Not Scary

[1/10 · 25 October 2016]

I may be new to the horror movie genre but it's my understanding that horror movies are supposed to be...you know...scary right? They're meant to leave you cowering behind a pillow, behind your sofa, gripping your friends or whoever you're watching it with like a boa constrictor, afraid to turn lights off and reluctant to go to a farm or a castle or in this movie's case reluctant to fall asleep. "Nightmare on Elm Street" is meant to do all that and is applauded as a horror classic...problem was I wasn't scared once! I knew of it from a young age and vowed never to watch it because of the plot and my over active imagination but I sat and watched it with a former girlfriend still worried about the aftermath of watching it (made worse by her saying "you'll p*** yourself with terror"). However not once was I terrified, shocked or left cowering behind her or anything near me, in fact by the time the credits rolled I was sat with a confused scowl on my face wondering how it was considered a classic I'll probably never fully understand why either To me, this movie is one of those that is over-hyped to the point that when you eventually watch it, you're left puzzled and somewhat underwhelmed by it, others may well enjoy it and have memories of it but I did not enjoy it at all

Dog Soldiers (2002)

Soap MacTavish VS Werewolves

[9/10 · 25 October 2016]

Horror movies are usually not something I watch, this was always due to the fact I have a bit of an over active imagination but I was hooked on this movie when it was on TV one night. It finished incredibly late so I watched the rest of the movie on DVD and boy was it a good British horror movie. There are some parallels with the real life Battle of Rorke's Drift (depicted in "Zulu") and scenes from "Aliens" which blend together well with our usual dark humour (I am British myself). So the basic plot is a group of soldiers on a training mission deep in the British countryside are hunted by a pack of bloodthirsty werewolves with a mysterious and wounded Captain Ryan with a secret agenda of his own. One by one the men are taken and torn apart by the beasts leaving a single soldier to prove a point put to him at the beginning of the movie; can he kill a dog? Watching the movie, all that was going through my mind was I was seeing Captain "Soap" MacTavish from the "Call of Duty: Modern Warfare" series fighting werewolves which was a cool concept to me, the creatures themselves looked incredible, so real and terrifying I was genuinely on the edge of my seat numerous times watching wondering who was the next to become a dog's dinner and growing attached to them, the deaths and blood effects were gruesome but very well done and I liked how it was all set around a small farm playing on the idea that what they think is safety really isn't. One of my favourite points in the movie is the intelligence of the werewolves when they managed to trick the soldiers in a couple of moments. Overall this is a very well put together British horror movie and I do highly recommend it to anyone