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edandkatie
Reviews
The Minis (2007)
Don't believe the lies! The Minis was perpetrated by members of our own government!
I've watched this movie three times not because I enjoy it, but because I feel the need to inflict it on friends and loved ones to help them understand the nature of suffering.
It's as if everyone involved in this movie (save maybe one or two actors) was actively trying to sabotage the making of this movie. The only question is whether they did this out of contempt for the filmmaker or for the people who would debase themselves by watching this movie.
The scene where they meet with the big-shot Hollywood agent was clearly shot in a storage facility? Better leave the blinds open so the audience can tell we couldn't afford to rent an actual office space.
In spite of the totally-not-written-by-people-involved-in-the-movie endorsements of the soundtrack made by some of the other reviews, the soundtrack is...well it's bad. Not even bad in the way the rest of the movie is (where you can kind of sit in awe of how horrid it is) it's just bland. On the plus side, it's not nearly catchy enough to get stuck in your head, so it won't haunt your nightmares or anything.
Probably the worst part of the movie (spoilers ahead) is when the son (who's name I can't be bothered to look up for fear that would result in me putting more effort into reviewing this pile of wet crap than the filmmakers did making it) starts "playing" basketball at the end in full clown gear. It's not the clown gear part that's bad (at this point in the film it takes way more to shock you) it's that the kid is the worst actor in the whole thing (which is kind of like being the worst glass of horse pee you've ever had to drink). Like, you could go to any high school in the country and find at least one drama kid more capable of delivering his lines believably than this kid does. You watch every line this kid delivers, and you just assume that he's some super good high school basketball player that they cast for the inevitable scene at the end when he takes the court. Then he takes the court, and, bless his little heart, is bad at basketball in a way that makes suspension of disbelief impossible. Like, I can buy a dwarf balling out of control way easier than I can buy this kid being good at basketball.
This movie is truly awful. Maybe the worst movie I've ever seen, and I've seen Santa With Muscles.