heidibetrug Reviews

Hearts of Christmas (2016 TV Movie)

OK but........

[5/10 · 23 November 2018]

As Hallmark movies go, this one is a tad more tolerable than the rest . The characters aren't silly and it's refreshing to have a plot centered on something other than cookie baking, chefs or small town Christmas festivals and reunited high school sweethearts. However, realism was left at the sound stage door when the action moves to the NICU. No one around these babies is gowned. Jenny wanders in wearing her street clothes, Mom and Dad - in their street clothes too,- hold baby James while standing. The nurses never seem to be actually taking care of the babies but rather sit around talking, and only look lovingly at the patients. every so often. Remember - NICU stands for Neonatal INTENSIVE CARE unit. The patients may be tiny but the technology and care provided is cutting edge and truly intensive as the name indicates. Hallmark makes it look like all that's needed to treat these babies is lots of sentiment and an abundance of Christmas decorations.

Christmas Next Door (2017 TV Movie)

Christmas joke

[1/10 · 17 November 2018]

A reviewer wrote: "In an era of crass commercialism, it's great to see a film which has nothing to do with the economics of Christmas. " Seriously? It's all about DECORATING for Christmas - what's more commercial than that? The entire cast is annoying, the loud, intrusive neighbor April and her sister are shrill, (frankly I had trouble telling them apart) giggle non-stop and can't say a line without bouncing on their heels and tossing their straggly hair. April "plays" the violin as I would - and I've never even held a violin, The entire neighborhood (which appears to be full of overbearing adults but no kids) is focused on one neighbor who doen't decorate his house (did anyone consider that a neighbor whose name they don't even know might possibly be - oh I don't know - Jewish?). April's house is so overly decorated it looks like there was a home invasion by Santa and the elves, Eric, the anti-Christmas Scrooge, is a cliched bachelor who sits around watching sports and playing poker with his "bros", loves "jazz vinyl", is awkward around his bratty niece and nephew, and writes books about how to remain a bachelor. Really? And this guy owns a home in suburbia? His mother, who's supposed to be watching the kids, feigns illness to get her son to bond with the niece and nephew by passing them off to him, ignoring her son's legitimate need to work. Thanks Mom. All in all - this movie is a typical Hallmark joke; good for laughs but be careful of syrup overload. But as with all Hallmark offerings, Christmas spirit and schmaltz prevail. The only thing missing is a character who owns a bakery that specializes in making Christmas cookies and is the chairman of the town 's Christmas festival. Maybe April should try that because the violin is clearly not her forte.

Royally Ever After (2018 TV Movie)

Unbelievable!

[10 June 2018]

This has to be one of the worst - if not THE worst - of the 'royalty meets commoner falls in love and has to meet the parents' genre to which Hallmark is addicted. Americans are, as usual, stupid rubes, the royals are stuffy and calculating and the end result is an insulting, over acted silly waste of time. "Every one is going to love you" - this standard line is delivered with a straight face by the ever-so-earnest Prince; and we now that by the end of the movie, the parent will indeed have seen the error of their ways, will relax and accept this breath of fresh air in their midst.

I'll label this review as containing spoilers, but honestly, it's only been on for 30 minute and my remarks are purely speculative. I know Hallmark though, so I'm sure I'm right on the money.

October Kiss (2015 TV Movie)

Here we go again...another Hallmark perk-fest.

[1/10 · 12 May 2018]

This movie is so sugary I feel the need for some insulin. Per the Hallmark template, motherless kids with well-meaning but harried dad get a lovely young nanny. Nanny is ebullient, attractive, and able to overcome the kids' initial hostility to become much loved and their prime candidate for step-motherhood. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

The hook here is supposed to be the Halloween theme, which fills every scene like car exhaust in a closed garage. Who but owners of popup Halloween stores decorates every inch of their environment with this sort of schlock? Main character Poppy is a perpetually grinning hobgoblin who talks, eats, sleeps and dresses Halloween for weeks before the "big day". She's unrelentingly cheerful and quick with the the happy-talk repartee and it's all just too too much.

It ends as you would expect...and I'm off to watch something less syrupy . Reservoir Dogs, anyone?

Love at the Shore (2017 TV Movie)

Beyond belief

[1/10 · 14 April 2018]

This movie - typical Hallmark fare - was one of the worst I've ever seen. That it has a predictable plot is putting it mildly; it's a cacophony of cliches. Driven career woman/ single mom tries to relax and finish a book during a summer at the shore. The rented duplex just HAPPENS to have a handsome "tenant" who is her opposite; relaxed, a bit messy, seemingly unambitious. But wait for it.....they share a mutual attraction to each other which she fights and he gets around by schmoozing with her kids . And he of course, is not what he seems! Surprise, right? The character of Jenna is so controlling, such a helicopter mom and so pointlessly rude that it's not believable that this or any guy would fall for her. And the actress is so stiff, so one dimensional. Her face is frozen into one blank expression throughout the entire movie and she delivers her silly lines like a bored robot. The other characters and actors are okay but Jenna, the star, throws a wet blanket over the entire production. She MUST be related to someone in the production company to have landed this role; surely she didn't best others in auditions. Given that this is from Hallmark, the ending is supposed to be happy and heartwarming. And I guess it is...it gave me heartburn.

The Mistletoe Inn (2017 TV Movie)

Alicia Witt plays Alicia Witt

[3/10 · 3 December 2017]

The plot and characters are unremarkable because it's a Hallmark Christmas movie. Cozy small town girl with a Dad-confidant is wowed by something. All that's needed is the reconciliation with an old high school boyfriend. Enough said. This time, it's Alicia Witt chewing the scenery. I lost count of the number of times she said "WOW"! Regardless of the role, Ms Witt delivers every performance exactly the same, and this is no different. She talks with the corners of her mouth pinched together and the rest of her mouth squeaks out the words in that oh-so- cutesy way that she does in all her movies. Maybe if the role had gone to someone else, that 3 rating would have been higher, but I simply can't get past Witt and her charmless delivery.

The Holiday (2006)

Pleasant Holiday RomCom

[7/10 · 24 November 2017]

This has an interesting twist on the girl meets guy standard rom com formula. The parts are well cast and the actors are natural and likable...except for Cameron Diaz, who is TERRIBLE. She overacts, over gesticulates, and even her character is so annoying she's difficult to watch. There are many who could have delivered this part and she is certainly not one of them. She's the one sour note in an otherwise enjoyable movie.

A Harvest Wedding (2017 TV Movie)

Another Schmaltzy Hallmark Offering

[5/10 · 22 October 2017]

Hallmark has dusted off one of its standard plots, changed a few of the details and delivered a "new" film. As ever, a former high school couple are reunited years later, when the one who left the bucolic small country town of their youth returns temporarily from the "big city" for family, relaxation or work and rekindle their lost love. Compromises in careers and life styles are made in pursuit of true happiness. But alas, not before facing some obstacles created by either a new love from the city who shows up unexpectedly or in this case, a potential new suitor from the city whose interest is unwanted and of course, misinterpreted. Will they or won't they get back together? Will old love conquer all? The answer is always yes - this is Hallmark after all; movie makers of the greeting card world. The main character Sarah is a wedding planner who is staging a ceremony on the farm owned by her old flame. The event is during the annual crop harvest - which in real life is not something farmers could or would thoroughly disrupt for a "society wedding" on site. Here though the farmer gives in because he can't resist the perky, overbearing and annoying Sarah. As another reviewer mentioned, the backdrop is lovely with its fall colors (although for the life of me I don't understand the confusion over the location that was expressed in that review. Just because the story is set in Massachusetts doesn't mean it was filmed there. Forget a Google Earth fan search! Hallmark ALWAYS attributes its beautiful Canadian filming locations to random US sites, as though audiences won't watch anything that isn't set in good old, 'Merican locales.) All in all, another Hallmark cliché.

Summer Love (2016 TV Movie)

Old looking techies

[5/10 · 14 May 2017]

These are the oldest looking tech workers in the world and the most carefully "casually" dressed as well. They're wearing jeans, sure, but paired with well-pressed and coordinated accessories. Seriously? The "mature" intern doesn't look any different than anyone else and yet they all make a point of saying she' old, and the love triangle of the star, CFO and CEO starting on her very first day hits the viewer like a ton of bricks. The whole movie - while visually pretty - is so obvious it's more like an appetizer than a meal.

The Sweeter Side of Life (2013 TV Movie)

Terrible even for Hallmark

[1/10 · 5 March 2017]

Where to start with this schlock-fest? Casting was clearly aiming for a Goldie Hawn ditzy blonde effect but on a mini-budget. The main character mugged, screeched, huffed and puffed at maximum volume to the exclusion of any acting efforts. This woman was supposed to have a Columbia MBA and yet was such an airhead and kardashian-reject that she was a cartoon. A symphony of "WOOOO HOOO" acting. Left with absolutely nothing after 15 years of marriage because she signed an egregious pre-nup? Was she comatose? Then we have the other characters - the obligatory big-hearted Irish dad (Paddy? Seriously?), the lovable, street-smart black teenager, NUNS in HABITS, handsome rich French- English neighbor...it doesn't miss a cliché. Hallmark movies are all hopelessly corny but this one is such a ridiculous waste of time that it puts others to shame.

A Novel Romance (2015 TV Movie)

Predictable Ho Hum movie

[3/10 · 14 January 2017]

This is a silly formulaic rom-com. Amy Acker plays Sophie the same way she plays every role; hesitant speech, fixed, semi-smile regardless of the line she's delivering and heavenward gaze with her eyes, rolled around at every opportunity as if someone told her she has expressive eyes, so she works them at every opportunity. The plot is thin: book critic unknowingly falls in love with the author of a book she's slammed. Sophie is supposed to be a writer and literary critic, in line for a New York magazine job, yet acts like an unsophisticated bumpkin, agog being seated in First Class, taking a selfie while riding in a limo "because her friends will never believe it!" Oh please. Liam is supposedly a very successful author of best-sellers but he's wowed by this small town, cardigan wearing woman who stalks him when he meets with a client and talks with "other women." I give it 3 stars only because the other cast members are OK (even if there IS a token, wise black man friend!) and the scenery is lovely. Shot in wonderfully scenic British Columbia, I'm always puzzled why the writers just don't set the films there; why must BC always "fill in " for US locations? Are we so parochial that we won't watch a movie set outside the US? Sheeesh.

A Royal Christmas (2014 TV Movie)

A Royal Cliché

[2/10 · 31 October 2016]

This is typical Hallmark fare; Prince studies in the States, meets apple-pie, down to earth American girl with lovingly gruff widowed dad and takes her home to the Palace to meet mom the Ice- Queen Queen and his old girlfriend lying in wait. The royal decor is hilarious with deer-in-the headlights, garish portraits, suits of armour and gold everywhere; lots of gold. And just in case we viewers have forgotten this is a holiday movie we're beaten repeatedly over the head with Christmas trees standing awkwardly in every scene. Along the way, the girl predictably makes every ugly American faux pas known to sitcoms (you just KNEW she'd drink from the finger bowl, didn't you?), mugging to make the guards laugh, dressing inappropriately at every turn and giggling loudly all the way. But alas for the Queen, her campaign against the upstart begins to come apart at its snooty seams and the American wins the hearts of all around her, just as she already has that of the Prince. But will the Queen come around as well??????? The suspense will not kill you.

The Girl He Met Online (2014 TV Movie)

Bad even for Hallmark

[1/10 · 5 June 2016]

Seriously, this is one of- if not THE - most amateurish movies I've ever seen on the Hallmark Channel, which is not known for compelling drama or quality acting. The main character, Gillian is supposed to have bipolar disorder but her behavior is more symptomatic of schizophrenia. The acting is so poor, that regardless of the label put on the character's illness, the result is laughable. Yvonne Zima, who plays Gillian, has no business calling herself an actress. Her lines are all delivered in the same flat, wispy, little-girl voice and her face is expressionless. Her bipolar rants are amateurish and she is unconvincing as someone who would be so appealing to all the men in her life. Don't waste 90 minutes of your life on this one.