nbofnimachine Reviews

3 Body Problem (2024– )

Mass-produced garbage, again

[2/10 · 11 April 2024]

The execution is utterly lifeless, vapid, dull, surface-level, and lacking in a unique stylistic flair to distinguish itself amongst an over-stimulated world of mass-produced mediocre content that gets mindlessly promoted and quickly forgotten.

It is sad to see another dull tv-show get overhyped by the masses, accumulating loads of popularity for no reason other than notoriety and big budget cinema ($20 million per episode ~ $160 million in total - which is absolutely abhorrent, that money could cure child poverty). Unfortunately this one never utilises its big budget in any meaningful or profound way.

• Wooden/one-note/mediocre/cheesy acting/Out of place "comedy"/Too much melodrama when it wasn't the selling point of the show.

• Bland CGI
• There are no audio-visual stylistic risks to hide the wooden acting and bland CGI.

• Presents it's thoughts on Astronomy/Science/The Fermi Paradox/The Dark Forest Hypothesis/Philosophy/The incompressible vastness of space in such simplistic and surface-level ways. You can learn a lot more about these topics from Fraser Cain, SciShow, Elderfox Documentaries, Anton Petrov, Cool Worlds, Dr Becky, Dreksler Astral, Geographics, etc... and to go beyond that Carl Sagan, Richard Feynman, Brian Cox, Frank Drake, Vera Rubin, Michio Kaku, etc...
• Loads of DEI that is deforming the perception of art, brainwashing people into accepting mediocrity in contemporary media, and ultimately encouraging conformity to the point where opinions in the minority are frowned upon because they don't meet a societal standard. A sensible way to actually embrace cultural diversity/variety is to travel, reflect, express gratitude, continuously improve yourself, find purpose, stay curious, and keep an open mind. Surely this is common sense? Instead what is currently happening is people are blindly accepting mediocrity because it aligns with an agenda, an agenda that is limiting the possibilities of art.

Reading other reviews here is quite funny. The people hyping this up have probably seen < 100 films in their life, and < 5 tv-shows in their life, and they're probably hyping up mainstream dross like barbie, oppenheimer, lord of the rings, every batman film, every nolan film, every scorsese film, etc...

If you want real profundity in the form of cinema, go watch Avalon, Serial Experiments Lain, Blame!, Ghost in the Shell, Akira, Patlabor 2, Steamboy, Stalker, Involution, instead. Genuine pieces of art that don't pander to the viewer and prioritise atmosphere/style/mood/detail/intimacy over plot and dialogue - unfortunately this will never appeal to the masses because it's easier to talk about plot than it is to talk about atmosphere/style/mood/detail/intimacy.

Gradually, year-by-year, I find myself drifting farther and farther apart from mainstream cinema. This is another stepping stone to a personal appreciation for true artistic enlightenment.

Disappointing and sadly forgettable. It's not unwatchable, but mostly a waste of time and money. Not worth the hype.

2 / 10.

Doctor Who: Revolution of the Daleks (2021) Season Unknown, Episode Unknown

Awful, contrived, dull and an embarrassing mess

[1 January 2021]

The lowest point of doctor who... This show is a joke, these actors/writers/directors have learnt NOTHING from the mistakes they have made for 2 whole seasons now. How can they not just write a half-decent episode? One of the biggest problems of the show right now is Jodie Whitaker... She has NO chemistry with any of the characters, including Captain Jack, who has had great chemistry with all previous doctors. I am concerned that they are harming his character, I really hope he gets out of this show quickly. None of the actors in this TV show don't seem like they want to be here, they seem like actors, not characters. The only thing these actors are good at doing is being really depressed, blindly following the doctor and generally being useless. There are so many other problems with this show. Graham/Ryan/Yas once again doing nothing throughout the entire episode. Horrible unlikeable side characters. Rehash of old plots. Terrible script writing. Awful special effects. Horrible music (please bring back Murray Gold, although I doubt he want's to be associated with this show anymore). And most importantly, Chris Chibnall - once this guy is gone, doctor who will be one small step in the right direction from this awful direction it is currently going in.

Regarding this episode... there were so many missed opportunities, pointless dialogue, ridiculous use of daleks (You're really using them to spray civilians with water? What's stopping them from just kicking the dalek over? How on earth is this making the country more secure? Why use daleks?) Also, the doctor just left a massive dalek farming factory in the middle of England??!?!? Also, why were there some random daleks inside the Tardis's wormhole vortex thing? Also, why are all the companions so whiny and depressed when the doctor goes away for a bit? Like come on get a grip of yourself, do something different with your life, surely your whole life doesn't revolve around tagging along with the doctor?

This show has declined in quality so much... It's so sad to reflect back on earlier seasons when this show was so good.

Session 9 (2001)

Rushed, boring, pointless, and writers trying to do too much at once.

[1/10 · 4 November 2020]

Too many characters introduced early on. Far too many 'characters' mentioned throughout the film - who is Wendy? Claire? Emma? Simon? Craig? Griggs? Henry? I'm sorry but we've already got 6 main characters that have been shoved down our throat in the opening 5 minutes, and now we keep getting references to more meaningless names?

The introduction to the hospital, the main characters and setting the scenery was rushed.

No one talks to each other openly. Each character's greed is what drives this film 'forwards', which I don't think is an admirable quality to have.

They have this huge hospital to clean up in 3 weeks - nah shorten it to 2 weeks - nah shorten it to 1 week, because the writers don't have any more ideas. Most of what we see the characters doing is bantering on lunch breaks, smoking cigs, stealing money, secretly watching tapes, talking behind each others back, and being rude to each other. This wouldn't be as big of a deal if the character development hadn't been so rushed at the begining, but unfortunatly none of the characters were likeable in the first place, so it's hard to find any sympathy for the things that happen to them by the end of the movie.

Also, why the **** did Jeff (the kid) try to hug Gordan (jeff's uncle) when he was clearly covered in someone else's blood, sprinting towards him, carrying a machete!?!? Ludicrous!

There is no suspense, no overarching story being told but rather loads of incomplete plot threads hashed together at the end. The film was not scary/suspensful/frightening, in the slightest.

Literally nothing about this film deserves anything higher than 1/10 in my opinion.

Upgrade (2018)

Another ridiculous, cliche, shameful, surface-level repetition of a plot that disrespects artificial intelligence.

[2/10 · 12 October 2020]

Mindless AI haters/superhero/violence film junkies will love this film. This film is hilariously bad, boring, overrated, and unbelievably far from a 7.5.

There are so many pointless little moments, random things that happen throughout the movie that amount to nothing.

The technology and how it's used is EMBARRASSING and INSULTING to what artificial intelligence does for us in reality.

Not enough character development to make us care for anyone dying. Typical problem with films in the modern era unfortunately. They could really learn something from 'Awakenings' about character development!

Bad acting from everyone (apart from the mum, she was decent). Especially from the guy who plays 'Eron', he's so obviously trying to impersonate Elliott from Mr. Robot, but it's terrible.

The main guy 'Grey' (a name that is very telling of the films atmosphere) is self-absorved, overconfident, boring and depressing. Why give those traits to the main character, he's the guy who we are supposed to be routing for?!? The remorse and anger within him because some random guy killed his wife is what should drive the film's story! But instead the film wants us to hate artificial intelligence and the potential for future technology. What a sad world we live in.

The mum was the only likable character in this film, probably because everyone is blinded by death, getting their own way and they all forget what they want.

How anyone can give this movie a positive review baffles me. This film is full of boring characters, monotonous storytelling, dead-end scenes with cliche settings.

I spent a considerable amount of time looking at my Strava running stats while waiting for something interesting to happen.

In case you were curious, nothing interesting happens. One of the most surface level films I've ever seen.

Regarding cinematography, there are several scenes were it seems to skip a few frames. Why? It just makes the film even harder to watch.

Regarding SFX, the film shows a lot of potential. There are a lot of intriguing objects and structures in the background of scenes. Unfortunately the plot never allows it to make the most of these things, it's just background filler to make the film seem better than it really was.

The music was cool, it provided the film with a dark atmosphere that the plot never built on top of.

Do not bother watching this film if you actually enjoy watching films.

The ending was diabolical by the way, a horrible attempt at a plot twist, what a mess.

The Lost City of Z (2016)

A dull vision of a fascinating story.

[4/10 · 22 July 2020]

This isn't really a story about a lost civilization. It's a movie about a British bloke who was lucky enough to spend his life with such forgiving people, and happened to be attached to the idea of discovering a lost civilization called Z.

So much blabber, pointless dialogue and uninteresting subplots. What actually happened in this film did not need to take 2.25 hours. The movie diverges a lot from the story we thought we were going to be told.

Good acting/atmosphere/music, it just lacked a good implementation of the story it was trying to tell.

Lacks decent storytelling, compelling characters with genuine motives, and a plot that captures your interest - it's just really dull. The movie and script is too obvious for the story at hand, which at heart is fascinating and deserves better.

A documentary that actually talks about the evidence and stories behind Z would be far more interesting and satisfying to watch, instead of watching a bloated lackluster version of something that could of been a fascinating adventure.

Dark (2017–2020)

A tangled, mysterious, fascinating, slightly repetitive German masterclass on storytelling

[10/10 · 2 July 2020]

Firstly, I know it's been said before, but the casting is insane. Ulrich, Noah, Magnus, Katharina, Claudia, etc...

It is one of the few TV shows were you will need to write notes/look up diagrams/pause to remember who is who, and I love that. The family tree and how the writers make the entire plot work is remarkable, and some of the paradoxes are fascinating to think about.

The music used throughout the series is great and they select the perfect songs. Also can we talk about the brilliant sound effects!? Ben Frost is a musical genius and deserves a lot of credit for the 'Dark vibe' and the spooky ambiance of Winden.

We have been on an epic journey, learnt a lot about these screwed up worlds that is hidden in a tiny pocket of time and space. I along with many others, I became attached to these characters, all of whom cease to exist by the end of the story, which is sad, but it makes me wonder if such an event has ever happened in reality, all it would take is for someone to invent time travel.

In my opinion, seasons 1 and 2 are perfect, 10/10 in every category (plot, acting, character development, atmosphere, VFX, SFX, sound effects & music)

Objectively, season 3 is lackluster, it is not 10/10 in every category, it lacked significantly in (plot, character development, and in my opinion a little bit in acting).

Here are my main points about where season 3 lacked:

Repetitive dialogue and actors with the same motives and facial expressions, mostly in season 3. Particular phrases that are constantly reused makes the character come across as pretentious, like they have nothing else to say that will actually further the plot or their own character.

Over-use of the 'Dark vibe'. Millions of brain-dead followers of this TV show will instantly give it a 10/10 because they just like the general 'vibe', without thinking for themselves about "what is that I actually like about this TV show?". I've seen other people's reviews of the final season, and most of them are brain-dead sheep who can't form an opinion of their own, and will just agree with the norm.

There was basically no new content to season 3, there are very little twists or plot developments, it is mostly events being reiterated/retold. In my opinion, this made for a fairly stale final season because we already knew what was going to happen.. Episodes 2 - 7 were, in a way, filler. It was useless information about how the cycle repeats... or so we thought, until the writers abandon the underlying logic behind the entire TV show:

Every episode before the finale highlights each character's lack of free will.

No matter what the characters try to do, they can't alter the outcome of their lives.

The events of the past, present, and future are set in stone to be repeated forever.

This is the 'Dark' perspective on life, and the show make a very compelling original argument about that, which causes the viewer to challenge their own notions of determinism and free will.

The finale abandons that theme, so that there was actually something new happening, so that they can flesh something else out of the plot, and find a way to loosen the knot that kept the 2 worlds alive. I totally get it and I understand why they did that, but this leaves the viewers (me included) feeling very conflicted about the whole ethos behind the entire TV show.

With every TV show, there will always be unanswered questions, so this is understandable and maybe a bit nit-picky, but worth mentioning:

Where did the golden sphere travel device come from, who made it, how does it work?

Why did future Elisabeth and Charlotte bring baby Charlotte back to the 80's to Tannhaus in the first place. Who told them to do that? Adam?

What happened to Koller's eye? And what happened to his arm in world 2?

Who really was Boris Niewald?

How did Claudia finally find the glitch after trying infinite times?

(not so much an unanswered question, but a disappointment) --- Despite Jonas and Martha's son featuring so much in season 3, we learn nothing about him. Every scene with the 3 versions of him are exactly the same. It gets boring and repetitive.

Despite all my criticisms, those are mostly criticisms of the final season... Dark is still, in my opinion, one of the greatest achievements in TV show history. Seasons 1 and 2 are brilliant in every way, shame it couldn't end with a bigger bang in the final season. There is a lot that other writers, directors and actors could learn about from Dark. Likewise, I think there are probably a few things that the writers, directors and actors could learn from their peers.

The Silence (II) (2019)

Family basically choose to get stuck in the wilderness, instead of getting stuck in their safe house

[2/10 · 29 May 2020]

There's so much potential with this film's concept. Unfortuantly the film lacks tension and momentum from scene-to-scene. The acting was poor, dumb characters, almost no character development and terrible writing.

So let me get this straight...

There is an outbreak of 'scary' flying creatures (we never find out much about them, apart from the fact they came from a cave, and considering they're the main threat you'd hope they frighten the viewers a bit, but they really don't) that are killing people all around the US.

On the news there is footage of a woman and her son in a car, on a road, next to loads of other cars with dead people and the creatures are killing them.

This family who lives somewhere near/or in a big city (we never find out precisely where they live) sees that footage, decides it would be safer to leave their perfectly fine home, and get in their noisy car and drive onto noisy roads half way around the country risking their lives?!?

How are you safer out their in the open, on a noisy road in a noisy car! Just stay in your house, stay quiet, and stop panicking. Maybe make a plan before driving off without any food/water/other resources.

Also, who the hell thought it would be a good idea to bring the dog with them? Dogs are also pretty noisy!

Pathetic attempts at character development. This is all we find out about our bloated cast: > Grandma - secretly smokes > Daughter - has a secret boyfriend. That's literally it. There is nothing else we know about our main characters before we are chucked into the sudden panic of this film.

By the way, who is Glenn? Is he a friend or relative? Should I care about him dying? Because I really didn't.

Also how are 'our characters' so good at avoiding squeaky floorboards, rocks, twigs, and just general stuff that makes noise?

And like many others have mentioned, why does 'daughter' have the sound on her tablet when chatting with Rob if she is deaf?

That scene where they get medication, what the was the point in that? Literally 15 wasted minutes. You could of walked out of the door quietley like you have been doing before!? How was walking out of the door less dangerous than lighting a mop on fire when you're RIGHT NEXT TO THE CREATURES?

Despite the (incredibly stupid) creatures not being scary at all (they just look like drunk bats), I though the small scene where the daughter saw the eggs hatching were pretty cool. Not sure why she stuck her face right next to it, but okay..

I really don't have much to say about the random reverened who wanted to kidnap the daughter, it was just an easy way to have a fight scene at the end. Oh and a thunder storm as soon they all start fighting and make loads of noise. How convenient. There a lot of convenient things that happen in this film that allow 'our characters' to survive.

Sound effects & music? Naah none of that, we'll just have very forgettable ambinent music that is trying to be creepy, but it's just not working.

There really isn't much going for this movie, but I'm sticking with a 2/10 because the initial concept is interesting and some of the CGI is decent (which is incredibly generous), but ultimatley there are other movies that do this genre much much better.