Change Your Image
spam-917-215663
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Paragraf 78 (2007)
One of the more true to life military SpecOps movies
This review contains no spoilers, don't worry.
I have to say I was positively surprised by this movie. The dialogues fit the bullsh*ttery among members of a fleshed-in military team. Quite entertainingly so actually, if you have the sense of humor for it. I know it isn't everybodys taste. But then again, what do civilians know about that sort of life, let alone friendship or fellowship/camaraderie.
Which explains why other reviewers are so harsh to this movie. They're all used to Michael Bay style nonstop-explosions and fast-paced action without any deeper thought processes. This movie does feature some bang but not exaggeratedly so. People are just spoiled nowadays.
I for my part enjoyed this flick a lot. I understand the plot has some sort of Ukrainian or Russian special unit in the center of it and they do play their roles pretty good. I didn't feel it was over-the-top or cliché. It is how it is. Soldiers are just human and in order to cope with the things they see or have to do they joke around more than other people. I don't see how that can be seen as cliché, it truly is like that in real military/special forces.
The characters had enough development which makes this flick a rare gem. You could almost compare this movie with Ridley Scotts 'Alien' (1979). Not really plot-wise but the overall structure and character development. The main characters are well developed and the side characters have enough development and background to be able to sympathize with and understand them. The acting is very good and the story is entertaining and has no yawn moments.
The only reason why this movie doesn't deserve nine or ten stars is because it misses a better developed, deeper manifested threat. That statement is not entirely true, but I can't say any more without spoiling the movie. Nonetheless this is one of the better SpecOps movies I've seen (and I've seen many) and I'd recommend it to people who enjoy crunchy one-liners and cheeky humor.
If you like the sarcasm and humor of the main character in Lockout (2012) you might enjoy this movie just as much. But it's nothing for the spoiled ones who want nothing but special effects all day, everyday, no matter if it makes sense or not. This movie keeps it real. And I am really glad it does because lately Hollywood has become so ridiculous that it's not even enjoyable.
Baywatch (2017)
A movie that pats snowflakes on the back
I can't believe how many positive fake reviews this has gotten, telling you to "ignore the bad reviews" and this movie being "worth a watch" or even funny. This is the saddest attempt at humor this year - easy. This movie is surrealistically politically correct except to white men. Dwayne Johnson disappoints here especially, just like in the majority of recent movies he's made he appeals to a generation of self-entitled, brainless teenagers and should-be-grown-ups. Fist-bumping with a black police officer whenever he can because he's half Samoan or whatever while ridiculing the white male sunny-boy type of a character at the lowest levels, who is depicted as a braindead, mush-for-brains super-athlete who is so reckless and egocentric that it hurts following his dialogue, while not surprisingly the virgin-type of a character played by Jon Bass is getting all the attention of the ladies despite his much-less-than-athletic bodytype and shyness around women. It is so obvious that it seems as if this movie was funded by George Soros himself. On the other side the female characters are depicted as smart and witty. No exceptions. In addition the female villain character is depicted as a feminist (the extremist nonsensical type) who talks-down at her own bodyguards/henchmen in such an incredibly rude manner I am generally surprised this is acceptable for the theaters leaving a bad image for the younger viewers as to what is acceptable behavior for women towards men. This does not exclude the majority of other female characters though, it's pretty much standard through and through. Except towards Dwayne Johnson and his friend Jon Bass of course. Seriously. If it wasn't for the sex-sells premise this would have deserved zero stars. I do not recommend watching this movie, ever. If you can watch it for free, maybe, if you have absolutely nothing else to watch. Don't give such terrible writers your money in the theaters. It only encourages them to feed you sh*t movies in the future - and get away with it making millions just because The Rock is in it and it's based on a 'classic' from the 80s.
Ghostbusters (2016)
Melissa McCarthy is the worst
I expected a feminism driven movie, I got a heavily feminism driven movie. The "jokes" fall flat with few exceptions, some are racist and some are pure feminist men-hating jokes. Which is probably also the reason why they made Chris Hemsworth as dumb as a caveman in this one. They basically allowed him to be able to speak the same language, that's it. Surprisingly, not even IMDb lists him in the main-cast list without having to follow the "See full cast" link. The actual "story" is extremely short. The writers waste most of the time assembling the crew, which doesn't even make any sense at all. The character "Patty" for example just quits her job at the New York metro to join Ghostbusters after meeting them ONCE.
This movie seems like it was written, produced and directed by Melissa McCarthy herself because she's desperately trying to be the center of attention every scene she's in. I don't even want to know how she got to play the role in the first place. Certainly not because of her talent as an actress. Probably because she's a feminist herself so the feminists behind this movie wanted someone to represent. And just like feminism this movie disappoints. All other actors were OK, the character Patty was actually funny at times, despite what I read about her in another review. All-in-all it felt like the actual ghost-busting was 5 minutes at the end and that's it. The rest was just preparing the stage for it. Bad writing..
My advice: save your money, watch it on TV when you're bored and there's nothing else on and you won't regret it. If you pay for it you will.
San Andreas (2015)
Cliché filled stream of p#ss into the viewers face
This movie is just ridiculous. It's a movie in which every man is portrayed either as a wimp or an a**hole - except DWAYNE of course. He's the man who taught his supermodel-type daughter with big knockers all about survival and emergency routines and she actually seems to have been paying attention to his valuable life-lessons. And then there's this kid that has more wits and balls than his big brother.. Sorry, but all the reviewers glorifying this flick just have no standards anymore. Sure the CGI of collapsing buildings, fiery explosions and a big tsunami wave are somewhat entertaining but everything else is just a blatant orgy of clichés. And some of it is just.. incredibly stupid. An example would be DWAYNE's daughter informing this guy and his little brother about emergency situation radio channels that rescue services use to communicate. REALLY??? THEY COMMUNICATE USING RADIO CHANNELS? WOW! WE DIDN'T KNOW THAT! And that "rare known bit of information" is one of the arguments to stick with her instead of doing something else. Come on! I don't know what the writers, the director, DWAYNE and the big knockers were thinking when they decided to create this weak, yes DWAYNE, very WEAK movie.
My suggestion: watch it when you're really, really bored and there's nothing else to do. But don't expect anything that makes sense.
Forev (2013)
Weird, simple, funny, surprising and sweet. I recommend it for a calm and funny evening.
This movie is pretty good actually. I was surprised! The actors are very convincing, the storyline interesting, the dialogs believable - it all just fits perfectly together. It's a movie that works without picking up overused clichés yet showing some within a framework that makes it clear that they are just that. It doesn't obsessively try hard to be funny at all costs yet has it's moments that just make you laugh by being natural and down to earth. This movie works with a slow momentum, step by step closing in on the viewer and giving the characters depth and credibility. It's not a blockbuster in it's traditional sense yet I'm happy that it isn't because it might just not be every ones taste - but in my opinion that's what makes this movie special. There aren't really any moments when I felt bored by this slow approach though. It is a nice movie with charming characters, a good and believable atmosphere through and through. I really enjoyed watching it till the end, it doesn't forcefully try to sell you any ideals like many movies of this sort do. It's a calm, yet entertaining, funny, weird and surprisingly attaching movie. All the actors did a superb job here - they really grow on you. If you want to enjoy a calm and bewitchingly movie for a change this one is a very good choice! I wish more movies were like this.
Gravity (2013)
Worst space movie ever (even "Dark Star" was better)
This movie is boring at best. Sure it has some nice CGI effects in it but the "story" is pretty much non-existent in this flick. I can't wrap my head around the fact that so many people accept this junk as a triple-A title. The CGI-scenery, the light, the camera etc are all nice and well done but this is definitely not a good space movie. It lacks depth, the characters never develop good enough for the viewer to sympathize with them, in the contrary: they seem to actively keep trying to annoy the viewer. This goes especially for Sandra Bullock, who without a doubt is one of the worst actresses in AAA movies today (in my humble opinion). Some additional acting classes wouldn't hurt. All she seems to do in movies is heavy breathing - you might as well watch pornographic videos with the audio of this movie. And even then you won't be able to enjoy it because she can't deliver any credibility - it just seems fake and unprofessional. What that woman is doing in space is beyond credible. That does _not_ mean that George Clooney _does_ deliver though. His character lacks just as much development in the movie, all he does is talk calmly to counter the stress that Sandra is generating. I love you Sandra as a person, but you should have turned down this one. It does not help your career to be in such a mindless movie no matter how well funded it is.
But (and this is a huge _but_), in the actors defense, it all comes down to the writers. Writers seem to lack the ability to come up with something better than this nowadays. Which is very sad because it means they have been losing their creativity. If you want to see a better movie about space you're better off watching "Mission to Mars", which is not "great" either but definitely much better. The director definitely did not have a vision with this one either. He seems to focus more on CGI rather than character development. What can I say - with that equipment and funding they all could've done a better job.
What a waste of time, money and effort. Sorry, but this one is a big fat fail.