What's not to like? Seeing a very pregnant Amy Adams masturbating? Watching Chicago art houses compete over the rights to the obscene and racist scrawlings of an insane hillbilly? Or maybe it's all about the hunt for the elusive Phillips screwdriver? This movie SUCKS, and any critic who says otherwise should be viewed with suspicion. Please, please don't waste your money or your time on this horrible film. Don't say I didn't warn you. At this point, I'm having a hard time filling the mandatory 10 lines for a review, since I've said all that needs to be said but IMDb has this silly requirement, apparently presuming that I'll have lots of GOOD things to say about movies I review.
Reviews
6 Reviews
Blazing Saddles
(1974)
Good luck finding the original theatrical release version!
2 March 2008
Yes, I've rated this movie a 10 out of 10. It's the only movie I've ever actually paid to see in a theater nine times.
However, that was all when it was originally released. Every time I've seen it more recently, what I saw was a watered-down PC version. While still funny, it had lost most of its original hilarity. I am not convinced it's even possible to see the original theatrical release version any more.
Here's how to tell if you're seeing the original: After Mongo rides into town, the sheriff has to deal with him. If you see an underwater scene involving a diving helmet, you are NOT looking at the original theatrical release version!
Huh? That's correct; in most movies, editing means scenes are left out. But in Blazing Saddles the original theatrical release version included the word "nigger" in about every other line of dialogue. This became wholly unacceptable sometime later, so the film was edited to remove most of these lines. That left the film so severely shortened that scenes that were originally left on the editing room floor -- such as that scene with the diving helmet -- were resurrected and put back INTO the film.
However, that was all when it was originally released. Every time I've seen it more recently, what I saw was a watered-down PC version. While still funny, it had lost most of its original hilarity. I am not convinced it's even possible to see the original theatrical release version any more.
Here's how to tell if you're seeing the original: After Mongo rides into town, the sheriff has to deal with him. If you see an underwater scene involving a diving helmet, you are NOT looking at the original theatrical release version!
Huh? That's correct; in most movies, editing means scenes are left out. But in Blazing Saddles the original theatrical release version included the word "nigger" in about every other line of dialogue. This became wholly unacceptable sometime later, so the film was edited to remove most of these lines. That left the film so severely shortened that scenes that were originally left on the editing room floor -- such as that scene with the diving helmet -- were resurrected and put back INTO the film.
The Ice Pirates
(1984)
This movie is a hoot!
2 March 2008
This movie is generally underrated, which may be because people expected it to be something it's not. It's a comedy, a spoof, and an excellent one. It is not a serious sci-fi action adventure.
Who knew Robert Urich could be this funny? The scene where the captured ice pirates are being prepared for slave duty alone is worth the price of admission!
Then there's the robot that was purchased for an inexplicably good price. That particular scene is so dark that it may be necessary to play it back a couple of times to see what's going on.
You find a beautiful woman in suspended animation. What would you do?
The biggest shortcoming of this film is the ending, where there's a rather silly chase through a wormhole or some such. It doesn't really work, and since it's right at the end of the film may help explain why so many review the film so poorly.
Who knew Robert Urich could be this funny? The scene where the captured ice pirates are being prepared for slave duty alone is worth the price of admission!
Then there's the robot that was purchased for an inexplicably good price. That particular scene is so dark that it may be necessary to play it back a couple of times to see what's going on.
You find a beautiful woman in suspended animation. What would you do?
The biggest shortcoming of this film is the ending, where there's a rather silly chase through a wormhole or some such. It doesn't really work, and since it's right at the end of the film may help explain why so many review the film so poorly.
Freebie and the Bean
(1974)
A lighthearted romp with a twist.
2 March 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Thoroughly enjoyable to watch, Alan Arkin and James Caan make a great comedy duo. Plus, perhaps the only time you'll ever see a car crash through a third-story window.
Here's a spoiler -- and what lifts this movie above most others in the genre: After an hour and a half of silly shenanigans, you suddenly discover that there was a serious plot going on. One is tempted to start the film over from the beginning because you clearly weren't paying enough attention.
The one downside of the film, IMHO, is the ending, where one guy that's supposedly seriously hurt is suddenly OK and being silly again. That didn't work for me.
Here's a spoiler -- and what lifts this movie above most others in the genre: After an hour and a half of silly shenanigans, you suddenly discover that there was a serious plot going on. One is tempted to start the film over from the beginning because you clearly weren't paying enough attention.
The one downside of the film, IMHO, is the ending, where one guy that's supposedly seriously hurt is suddenly OK and being silly again. That didn't work for me.
Don Juan DeMarco
(1994)
One of the best movies ever made.
2 March 2008
I don't understand why this movie isn't generally regarded as one of the best ever made. It is simply flawless. When the closing credits roll, you want to just sit back and watch it again.
Besides being the best thing Johnny Depp has ever done, it's also arguably some of Marlon Brando's best work. When Brando's character first appears, he picks on another guy about how fat he's getting, which is hilarious.
The movie also contains some of the most classic lines in movie history, such as:
"As luck would have it, she was the only one that mattered."
"...One thousand, five hundred, and two."
Should you see this movie?
"Why not?"
Besides being the best thing Johnny Depp has ever done, it's also arguably some of Marlon Brando's best work. When Brando's character first appears, he picks on another guy about how fat he's getting, which is hilarious.
The movie also contains some of the most classic lines in movie history, such as:
"As luck would have it, she was the only one that mattered."
"...One thousand, five hundred, and two."
Should you see this movie?
"Why not?"
Speed
(1994)
The most overrated action flick ever.
2 March 2008
This movie blows, and for one very particular reason: the Incredible Leaping Bus scene. At one point in the film, the characters in the bus -- unable to slow down or they'll be blown up -- are faced with the choice of taking a road under construction, which might involve driving on dirt or other unpaved grades, or taking a bridge that is missing a section and thereby involves certain death. They choose the bridge. We are then treated to several seconds of tension as they approach the dropoff where they will obviously all be killed. Just as they approach the gap in the bridge -- where there is no launch ramp, the bus will clearly plunge downward as soon as the pavement ends -- the bus inexplicably leaps into the air, not even waiting to reach the edge of the pavement. It then sails perhaps thirty yards as if the laws of gravity have been suspended and lands pretty as you please on the other end of the bridge.
As a viewer, you tell yourself "Oh, so magic is involved!" The movie is ruined. There is no more suspense because clearly, whatever trouble they get into, they can just snap their fingers to get out of it.
The critics told us Speed was great, and then the audience was treated to this garbage. So when Speed II came out, it scarcely mattered what the critics thought of it, nobody was going to bother to see it. And then the critics couldn't figure out why Speed II tanked.
As a viewer, you tell yourself "Oh, so magic is involved!" The movie is ruined. There is no more suspense because clearly, whatever trouble they get into, they can just snap their fingers to get out of it.
The critics told us Speed was great, and then the audience was treated to this garbage. So when Speed II came out, it scarcely mattered what the critics thought of it, nobody was going to bother to see it. And then the critics couldn't figure out why Speed II tanked.
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