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Reviews
Star Trek: Discovery (2017)
Not very Star Trek...
This new version of Star Trek is not very Star Trek. The other Star Trek series were all about exploration, knowledge and, ahem, discovery. This new iteration of the Beloved television shows does not come close to realizing Gene Roddenberry's ideals. Sure the special effects are flashy with neat space battles and the Klingon Prosthetics and makeup are well done, they're just stupid and unneeded. Why they didn't set this new series up after Voyager and Deep Space Nine and then they could have used all the new tech that's been invented since the 1960s original show. And not have to worry about trampling over everything that's come before. Stupid prequel format. Also one of the other great things about the other shows was they actually turn the lights on. With this show it's all weird camera angles, lens flares, and shadows. The other shows made you want to go on the bridge of the Enterprise or stroll around Deep Space Nine. Rich Geeks get the bridge of the Enterprise built in their basements but I highly doubt anybody's going to want the bridge of the Shinzou downstairs. And what did they do to the Klingons? The Klingons used to be brawling drinking partying space Vikings. Now there's some weird religious cult that's really into art? Not to mention they've got some serious evolution to do in the next 10 years. But I have to come back to the way this new series ruins Gene Roddenberry's vision. Star Trek was all about hope discovery exploration and the feeling that no matter how bad things could get, things would always work out in the end and you could keep moving forward. Learning, exploring adventures, diplomacy, morality and Lets see what else is out there... If memory serves me right those were the last words of Farpoint, the first Next Generation episode. Where as the last words of this new series is "I sentence you to life in prison" Which is what happens after the main character assaults her Captain and mutinies the ship. Can anyone really picture Riker or Kira or Chakotay doing this in the first episode? Blasphemy! Gone are the moral and ethical teachings of the other shows. They have now been replaced with hopelessness and fear. I wonder where they got that idea from... I highly doubt this is going to get a second season. This show's being eviscerated all over Reddit, fan forums and here. But you never know Studio executives are idiots.
The Simpsons: Barthood (2015)
Best episode in years!
I have seen every episode of the Simpsons since I was Bart's age and now I'm almost Homer's age. The last few seasons have been almost sad to watch at times, because they did not remind me of the laugh out loud funny, touching, smartly written episodes of years ago. But not this episode. I've watched it three times since airing because I've either missed stuff because I was already laughing to hard. Or they had stuff hiding in the background that made me glad I could pause and rewind. The graveyard and X-games scenes are worth pausing to read the headstones and the scoreboard. This episode was also very dramatic showing Bart's relationship with his family and friends as they age over the years. How Grandpa Simpson affected him over the years was really nice, and a little sad, to see. And Bart constantly overshadowed by Lisa and how she helped him become who he becomes in the future. And Bart, Homer and police chief Wiggum smoking a bong together. Hilarious! All in all this episode should go down as a classic Simpsons episode.
Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll (2015)
An actual Laugh Out Loud comedy (finally!!)
This is a show I've been waiting for. Finally a funny, laugh out loud comedy has come to TV again. The premise of Leary being a washed up rock star is the perfect vehicle for his smart ass comedy to shine through again. But it is not only Leary who shine in this show, his choice of Elizabeth Gillies as his daughter, who is trying to break into the industry is perfect. Not only is she talented as an actress, but man, this girl can sing. Not some auto-tuned pop princess. As Joan Jett said "This girls gonna be huge. The music in the the show is good, old rock and roll, something that is sorely missing today. I also love the fact that they take to task the sorry state of the music industry today. Seeing 'Lady Gaga' dressed as a green pyramid caused me to actually spew my drink across the living room. The other actors compliment the leads very nicely, they actually seem like they were once rock stars now on the setting sun side of fame. And having rock royalty like Dave Grohl and Joan Jett doing cameos doesn't hurt. I hope this show goes on for a few more seasons, because this one is actually really good. Give it a watch. You won't regret it. Rock On!! \m/ \m/
17 Kids and Counting (2008)
The most socially irresponsible show on TV
It is unbelievable that in this day and age, when millions of people lack the access to natural resources to begin to provide them with a basic human lifestyle, this show trumpets the 'virtue' of having such a ridiculously large family. It is a already physically impossible to provide the number of people living on earth already with a first world lifestyle. The is simply not enough trees, water, hydrocarbons, calories or any of the other natural resources required to live a middle class lifestyle in suburbia. Do these people not realise that eventually all these kids will need and want houses, cars and stuff of their own one day? They are just stealing what could be used more responsibly for others. The amount of stuff required to raise just one child in the first world is just staggering. While it is natural to want to reproduce, having 17,18,19 and more children is not natural. Nor is it being a thoughtful, socially conscious member of the human race. How these people can even think they are being 'proper Christians' (whatever that means). I'm pretty sure Christ didn't say be reckless with your reproduction so your family can have it all, and others can have none. National Geographic did a documentary how many resources it take to raise a child, just to the age of eighteen a few years ago, and it shocked me. Google it. THAT is worth a watch. Not this ridiculous program. I wish that TV executives would get rid of programs such as this and replace them with something; thoughtful, educational and actually entertaining. But I doubt that in the age of Honey Boo Boo and Jersey Shore, this would be to much to ask.
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo (2012)
Check out the people who voted 10 out of 10
This is perhaps the most terrible show ever the grace the airwaves. Pure exploitation of children. The glorification of a terrible lifestyle. A symbol of just how far American culture has fallen over the years. I cannot even begin to describe the vileness of this show. The channel it is broadcast on is called TLC. Abbreviated from The Learning Channel. The Learning Channel?!?!?!? It was once a favorite channel of mine, when you could actual learn something from this. But to call it that now is an insult. A not funny joke! But I am also writing this review as I was confused by some of the other reviewers posts. There seems to be no middle ground on this show. People either loath it, which is thankfully the vast majority. Or absolutely love it. Which was weird, I thought. And in reading some of their reviews, I felt something was wrong. These people were praising it like it was the best thing ever to come out of their television. It did not feel right. So I clicked on their user ID's and aside from three of them, they were all obviously industry people trying to get the ratings up on this site. Most were created the same day and month, they all had one single review, and all were obviously written by the same person. This is terrible. I hope IMDb does some investigation on this, as I love their site and think it is a worth while tool for helping others choose how to spend their free time. Others that read this review. There is a reason the vast majority of the people who have come on here to review this terrible show deride it so. It is a disgusting view of society and we would all be the better off if it was stricken from our airwaves. 0/10 (Negative numbers if I could)
The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)
If you have seen one Spiderman movie, you've seen this one.
Here is the latest re-boot of the never-will-die franchise of Spider-man. This time, the protagonist Spider-man/Peter Parker is played by Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy? Why not Mary-Jane Parker I do not know. Both played their part adequately. The cast is rounded out by some REAL actors whom, I'm sure just thought, why not, for a quick cheque. The always wonderful Martin Sheen plays Uncle Ben, and delivers his performance flawlessly. He plays a kind yet stern, fatherly figure for Peter. He makes you want him to take you for ice cream. He is great actor and a brilliant choice for this iconic role. Auntie Em is played by the great Sally Field. Loving and concerned, she makes you feel like if you skinned your knee, she would make it better. Having Sally Field and Martin Sheen as Peters Auntie Em and Uncle Ben, was great casting. The main antagonist this time is Dr. Curt Connors/Lizard. Played by Rhys Ifans, he does a fairly decent acting job. He is believable as a one armed scientist gone mad. Decent and likable in the beginning as Dr. Connors. And he does the transformation and CGI work well. But I think he could have given more as the lizard. Comic book super villains need to be NUTS!! Finally Denis Leary rounds out the main cast as Captain Stacy. And he does it great. He is his usual quick tongued, sarcastic, Irish cop self. It's actually pretty funny watching Denis going out of his way not to swear. It funny to think that Denis Leary's kids have never heard the word ass around the dinner table.The real stars of this movie, and this is true about most of these superhero movies are, the CGI people. Bravo folks, you did a wonderful job! As it is supposed to be, this movie is oneupmanship in regards to the art of comics. The scenes with Spiderman swinging through the city, and fighting crime, and battling the bad guy are well done and quite entertaining. The scenes with Dr. Connors turning into the lizard creature were really good, and the fight sequences were top notch, in the school scene in particular. But again I think the Lizard creature could have been badassier. The other real superheros of this movie were, as always, in movies like these, The Stunt people! There are some real athletes doing these scenes. If that parkour guy grabbed my wallet, it would be gone. Swinging around on ropes spider-man style. Jumping down from heights, beating each other up, I'll bet these guys had a pretty fun day at work. And they looked pro doing it.
But the problems I had with this movie were mainly with the plot and the storyline. I like the dad was a geneticist at the company idea and Peter could be connected that way. Good idea. He sneaks away and gets bitten. All major plot points that need covered. And then there is Gwen?, his crush/girl who sits in front of him at school/intern with top level access/daughter of the cop chasing Spiderman/now girlfriend who knows spider-mans identity character. Seriously what ARE the ODDS of this? Why doesn't Peter or Spidey just nick an ID from the professor or something. I doubt a 16 year old intern that does the public tour has the key to every door in the HQ of a major corporation, and is proficient in their fancy holographic computer. I realize I have just said something based on a comic book could be doubtful, but seriously The Peter finding out he's Spiderman scenes are pretty funny and are good uses of CGI and stunts. And back at school later Peter beats the crap out of the school bully, 'shockingly' named Flash. Could there be a sequel coming? They are cool scenes though, especially the basketball in the gym scene. But the first time Peter returns home after being bitten, could have been better. Andrew plays the scene well as does does Martin Sheen and Sally Field of course. But the director should have let this scene and become more integral by letting these two brilliant actors run with it more. They should have known who he was earlier and helped. That would have been a good use of those two actor in this movie. The way that uncle Ben was killed off by the guy who Peter let rob the store was good, but I would have rather him survive and it be a father son revenge storyline. The main problem I have with Peter becoming Spiderman, was the web spinning devices. Part of becoming Spiderman was the ability to spin webs. Not with a gadget. Batman would like that toy. I'm being geeky, but too bad. There are also just some silly eye rolling moments like the door to the super secret spider lab looks like the door to my old science class room. Complete with 4''X18'' glass window. The Lizard seeing 'Property Of Peter Parker' literally labeled on his camera. The weird cops shooting Spidey just after he has his talk with Capt. Stacy thing was strange. And all the crane operators that came around to help Spidey was, uhh... a strange attempt at something maybe Sept. 11ish? And why did the antenna fall over at the end and they landed on the roof? I might have missed that part as I was getting ready for it to be over. At over two hours long it was a nothing to special kind of way to spend a Saturday evening. It was good CGI and stunts, with a silly plot and character misuse. I think they need to give the Superhero stuff a rest for a decade or two. Stan Lee has more money than he could spend for the rest of his life. Time to move on from this genre for a while.
Bob's Burgers (2011)
A really funny way to kill 22 minutes.
I really hadn't watched Bob's Burgers until very recently and now I don't know why it took me so long to jump a board. This show just cracks me up. Bob Belcher(Played by H. Jon Benjamin)is a forlorn father and husband, working everyday to make sure he has a home for his wife and family. Somewhat reminiscent of a Fred Flintstone/Al Bundy/Peter Griffin/Homer Simpson character. He come up with crazy ideas (or sometimes just follows the others)to try and make his business or life more successful. His wife Linda Belcher is played not by a woman with a banana shoved up her nose, but by a man,John Roberts. He/She delivers her lines with a kind of always upbeat, slightly ditzy and thick Bronx accent. Then come the Belcher children Tina, Gene and Louise. Tina (Played by another guy Dan Mintz) is the oldest daughter. A shy nerd who is in love with the son of competition across the street. Her love for him is referred to as a Romeo and Juliette type of story. Next comes Gene the middle child and only boy (Played by Eugene Mirman). He is almost always wearing a burger mascot outfit and blindly follows along with the other kids adventures. He regularly throws snappy one liners or sets up punchlines. And finally there is Louise (Played brilliantly by Kirsten Schall), the youngest daughter. Always seen wearing pink bunny eared hat, she is the brains behind most of the kids adventures. A smart-mouth, who rarely stops to think about what she says or what the consequences may be. She brings a Krameresque type character to the show. Louise is personally my favorite character, but the whole ensemble of the cast is great. The writing is really funny, the animation is nothing special, but all in all really like this show.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)
Based on a true story!
When I first decided to watch this movie, I have to admit that I was somewhat apprehensive. Mainly due to the fact that the movie market for vampire movies is so glutted with terrible movies and TV shows right now. I was expecting a cheesy vampirey love story, toss in some cheap SFX and maybe a soundtrack by Beiber and Lady Gag or something, and poof, straight to the $1.99 bin at the gas station. But I was wrong. Dead Wrong. This movie was GREAT! Finally, Hollywood came up with an original story. Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter. Yeah that's a new one. The relatively unknown actors chosen played their parts did so extremely well. And the crew who put this movie did a wonderful job. The special effects were very well done. There are awesome fight scenes with some original moves and weapons. There is even a bit of a love story about Abraham and Mary Todd. SPOILERS!! The story unfolds with Abraham as a child and how him seeing the treatment of black slaves will affect him for the rest of his life. But history diverges just slightly when he witness his mother being murdered by a vampire. Now Abraham not only has motivation to free the slaves and kick the butt of the confederacy, because they are vampires. Did I mention this is based on a true story. The movie moves along with Abe learning to kick vampire butt from Henry Sturgess. Possibly based on real life historical figure Henry Clay. Henry not only is a vampire, but is involved with freeing the slaves. He soon meets up with Joshua Speed, a real life friend of Lincoln's and soon the three of them are kicking vampire ass down to the Mason/Dixon line. The plot moves along with Lincoln eventually killing the vampire that killed his mom and finding out there thousands more like him coming north. So Abraham decides instead of using weapons he now uses words and becomes President of the US. Time passes and we see Lincoln aged and embroiled in the Civil war. He realizes that they will lose the war unless something drastic happens so they make silver bullets and cannonballs for the final battle of Gettysburg. But the vampires get wind of this plan and try to stop the train. The climactic battle between Abe and the head vampire is really quite a scene. Set on a moving locomotive over burning railroad trestles, it a pretty cool scene. All in all this movie was allot of fun. Lots of Action, cool SFX, a decent and ORIGINAL story makes this a really fun movie.
Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (2012)
Great if you need to catch up on your sleep
Normally if I was going to see a movie with Steve Carell and/or Keira Knightley, I would expect to be somewhat entertained for ninety minutes of so. But this was not the case with Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World. The movie starts like it could have some promise. The world is coming to an end in three weeks, and society is starting to break down. Riots,looting, sex, drugs all the things you might expect to have happen come the end of the world. But instead of Steve Carell enjoying any of this, he just stays completely deadpan throughout the whole movie. He is a great actor that can pull of deadpan comedy, but unfortunately, you need comedy to make this work. He mopes from one thing to the next. This party sucks, oh great I now own a dog, oh joy a random cute English girl wants to hang out with me. Sigh... This is all spoilers The two drive along from one not funny and random situation to the next. Our hitchhike pickup was just randomly shot out of nowhere. Welcome to Friendsy's restaurant. Home of the unfunny wanna be stoners. Hey lets go sleep and reminisce in my ex's bed. Who's this black guy that Keira knows? Some not quite militia guy with smart cars? What Martin Sheen doing here? Why did you go to the girls house and leave without us even seeing her? Blargh c'mon asteroid do your thing. I can take anymore of Steve's moping. Finally when the end comes I'm hoping for maybe some cool end of the world SFX. But no. The end consists of two booms heard in the distance and them the room gets bright and THE END. Save your time and money unless you are trying to get caught up on your sleep. In which case this movie is perfect. At least there won't be a part two.