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goldberri
Reviews
Lockwood & Co. (2023)
Good adaptation; Wish they kept more of the humor
From a huge fan of the books, this was a pretty good and true adaptation. Kept to the soreness of the situation and was pretty true to the characters. Overall quite fun.
My 2 critiques:
I really wish they had kept more of the humor and playfulness of the books. I was disappointed that there was not even a comment or hint of, for example, George bathing with the skull as part of his experiments to better understand it. Yea, they are a family, but we do not get to see them joking around as one, not much anyway. I feel like I'm the rush to cram 2 books into 8 episodes they sacrificed some of the soul and spice that really made the books enjoyable. Lost opportunity.
Next is a bit more subtle, but I feel affects the balance of the series. They books are essentially framed as Lucy's journal. Her perspective, her feelings looking out. The series has Lucy as the main character and central focus of all. We and everyone else is looking in at her. And honestly, at times it's way too Lucy-centric. It feels like all anyone ever talks about is Lucy. Like nothing happens until Lucy is in the room. And honestly it feels less balanced and too simplistic as a result. Almost childish self absorbed from a standpoint. Lucy herself would hate that. A subtle difference, perhaps, but it made the driver for the books far more elegant. Whereas this puts everything on one character. Makes it harder to feel the team and then they have to resort to Lucy constantly complaining as the only way for you to know what's going on with the relationships of Lockwood and Co. Overly simplistic writing, inelegant storytelling that frankly can make the difference between people liking and loving these characters. Maybe I'm nitpicking, But when Netflix cancels new series so quickly and viciously, these things matter. Storytelling matters.
Somewhere Between (2017)
The writers must be horrible people
I'm 30 minutes in and seeing some of the worst enabling yet neglectful parenting, a horrible example of marriage with some of the most terrible communication between between long time partners, and no one can do their jobs to the endangerment of children,
Trash.
The Haunting of Hill House (2018)
Not Remotely like the book; just a poor AHS imitation
So disingenuous of Netflix. The similarities between the book, The Haunting of Hill House, and this soap opera, pretty much stop beyond having a spooky old house.
Instead this story is a cheap, mediocre repackaging of American Horror Story: Murder House.
Netflix took the recognizable book title and unused it to trick audiences into watching an unrelated story by their no-name writers. Dishonesty in advertising. Cheap, stupid, and destroys their credibility as entertainment producers.
Apparition (2019)
They've gone full Tropic Thunder
The writers and actors seem confused between autistic savant tech genius and Tropic Thunder's Simple Jack if you get my meaning.
Actors choking on their awful lines. Every character involved seems intellectually stunted, and the jokes made by the writers wouldn't even be appreciated by elementary school kids. Stereotypes everywhere.
Basic description sounds fun, but hooo boy the execution just isn't there.
Home for the Holidays (1995)
Everyone is disgusting
If this is what Hollywood things of as a typical American family, then I'd have to say they are projecting their disgusting and flakey personality malfunctions on the rest of us. There is no one even remotely likeable here.Robert Downey jr is admittedly and obviously on heroin throughout filming and it shows. This film feels like it was written by him in that state. These people are revolting. I can't believe I wasted time watching this crap. After this, Jody Foster has fallen really really far in my opinion.
Bad Ben 7: The Haunted Highway (2019)
Original. Hilarious. Worthy focus for parties.
I very unironically find Bad Ben 7 to be nothing less than a work of art. As with the previous works in the series we find our agitated, South Jersey Everyman hero, Tom Riley, forced yet again into contending with the dastardly machinations of the Egg Harbor Township supernatural underground.
Budget doesn't matter. These movies are hilarious and Bad Ben 7 takes it to even higher peaks. Nigel Bach has put more creative originality and humor on film than what I've seen come out of the last 10 years of generic Hollywood schlock. Tonight my adolescent daughter and I first watched the latest Spider-Man film before moving on to Bad Ben 7. Sure, I grew up loving comics and the Marvel Universe. That said, Spider-Man was ok. Bad Ben 7 had me laughing so hard I was in tears. My daughter loved it so much she wished her friends were over to watch. We can't wait to show it to my husband who went to bed early and missed the fun.
If you don't get the joke, it might be time to question how deeply you are drinking from the cup of Life. Nigel Bach has brought a breath of fresh air and earthy humanity to film making. I truly hope he keeps going.
Sanitarium (1998)
Engrossing, depth, wish we had more like this
Love Sanitarium! Played it when it first came out and just had immense joy replaying it. Fully developed and interesting story, extremely creative settings and characters, fun puzzles, and you get a ton of story and game for your cost. A really smart creative work. Exactly the right amount of dark.
I really wish there were more games like this.
I'll Be Home for Christmas (1998)
Speechless as to how bad this is
Unlikeable tool is assaulted, kidnapped, and left in the desert to die by one dimensional junior high style "college" bullies. Instead of calling the police to have his attackers arrested and expelled, he travels by foot cross country in order to earn the family Porsche from his dad in the ultimate representation of greed as a replacement for relationships. Somehow he's supposed learn lessons and be redeemed so he can win back his annoyed girlfriend.
There is so much wrong with this cheap attempt at storytelling. And it's not even a matter of needing to suspend disbelief to enjoy a wacky, zany time.
The characters are revoltingly 2 dimensional and annoying (all the mains). I have no idea why the lead character would even have a girlfriend he wants to win back as he brings literally nothing to the table aside from trying to buy her affections.
The kids are all supposed to be college students but the writers have obviously never BEEN to college as everything from the students to the classrooms, to the campus more closely resemble what you'd find in a stereotypical, shallow, and inane depiction of high school.
God help any kids who watch this and believe that any aspect of it has any kind of rooting in reality. The "casually portrayed" actions of the bullies (in college, seriously?) not only could've seriously injured the lead, they easily could've led to DEATH. What they did was assault, kidnapping, and almost manslaughter, all premeditated. They would've been expelled, arrrested, convicted, and probably sued in a civil case. This is not something to laugh at as a wacky situation. Stupid.
Horns (2013)
If you liked the book... RUN!
They made changes; some slight, some key. In doing so they really shattered the feel and even the soul of the book.
It feels like whomever wrote the screenplay read the book for the first time while they were writing, chapter by chapter. It's like a teen who had to cram an assignment into one night's worth of work, so they skimmed their assigned book while they were writing the essay.
Totally failed to capture the unique feel of the book. Really crapped all over character dynamics, nuance, he'll even basic plot. Did the people who made this movie even like the book? I feel sorry for the novel's author.
Velvet Buzzsaw (2019)
Art School Confidental did it better
And Art School did it first.
I find it hard to believe Those involved in production had no idea how much of a copy they were making.
Ghostumentary (2015)
Fun Look At Ghosts, Ghost Hunters, and How People Relate to These Concepts
Ghostumentary is an enjoyable and light look at ghost hunting and our individual quests as humans to try and understand the truth of supernatural phenomena. While there are a few creepy question mark moments, this is not a "get your spook on" and open your brain's fear center -kind-of-show. But that doesn't mean ghost hunting enthusiasts won't enjoy it.
What I love about Ghostumentary is that it makes no assumptions. Are there ghosts? How much of ghost hunting is real or faked or the result desperation for finding results? These are all answered with a light hearted "I don't know, but isn't it fun trying to find out."
No one takes themselves too seriously, presses a point, or pontificates. While I wouldn't quite describe the filmmakers as "everymen", their doofy fooling around gives an air of credibility, that they really are just trying to be normal people with their own differing beliefs exploring this realm.
I love the world of ghost hunting shows, and this was no different. It was nice for a change to have people not automatically assume every spirit box utterance is a ghost and every bad mood is possession, while at the same time acknowledging the experiences they really couldn't explain.
I don't know why the IMDb score is so low for Ghostumentary, except to say that some people prefer to understand movies in clear cut boxes and you can't pigeonhole Ghostumentary. It's a bit of believer and a bit of skeptic. Part hunt, part examination of the hunters. A fun dip in the shallow side of a deep cultural pool. I'd enjoy a sequel if they felt inspired to put one out.
Torchwood: Children of Earth: Day Five (2009)
Shallow, lame, vulgar, ugly
SPOILERS If force-ably and bloodily sacrificing a child in order to save the world (a world in which kids are being dragged screaming from their parents by armed soldiers) is what passes for "entertaining drama" among the Torchwood writers, then they deserve to live in a world of their own repulsive making. Sick.
Anyone who is "entertained" or feels they enjoyed the "roller coaster" or "moving drama" aspect of this kind of writing must evaluate their own morals. It is a cheap gimmick to falsely project depth and honesty, when really all they're doing is scrambling for shock ratings.
This is extremely fake art.
Awwww let's feel so bad for Captain Jack as he stupidly charges in with no plan other than an empty bluff and gets his lover as well as tens of others killed; contrived. Oh, so sad, poor Cpt. Jack had to force his grandson into a bloody, convulsive death to bring about contrived resolution. Look, Cpt. Jack's daughter is screaming as she watches her father deliberately cause the horrific death of her child, guess that family relations are going to be strained at Christmas this year; let me cry a river for poor, contrived, useless Capt. Jack.
Yeah, my only shock is that there are so many who think of this as moving and intelligent writing instead of a cheap grab for ratings and sympathy using a thinly disguised snuff film. Epic writing FAIL.
I'm done with anything these writers and producers touch.
Silent Hill (2006)
First half was perfect; second half was a WTF director's indulgence
The trailers pulled me in. The sirens, the intro music. One of my favorite games had been brought to the big screen. For some reason I put aside my current cynicism about the incredible amount of unoriginal crap coming out of Hollywood and opted for nothing but excitement and anticipation.
The first half of Silent Hill delivered just that. Sure there were differences with the game. Harry the Dad instead became Rose the mom. Cheryl was now renamed Sharon (who the hell names their kid "Sharon" nowadays anyway?). Sean Bean (a wonderful British actor) was obviously written in at the last moment (and struggling to keep an American accent), just to keep the cast from being all female. But, it was still the Silent Hill that I loved. Exciting, horrific, mysterious. My husband knew nothing about the game yet he was equally transfixed once the sirens started and all went dark. It was perfect until...
*****THE HEART OF THE MATTER*****
Midway through the movie something went terribly wrong. It's not just that the movie changed the plot of the game. That's been done before and usually for very acceptable reasons. Instead, the director hijacked the movie with his own creative indulgence. And, it wasn't good. In fact, it was cliché and preachy. I was instantly pulled out of the story. All I could do was think of how boneheaded I must've been to assume Hollywood wouldn't screw it up. The movie lost me and the intensity and enjoyment were gone.
Suddenly what was originally (in the game) the cruel experiments of a group of ambitious doctors, instead became the fanaticism of a group of Hollywood's biggest enemy, you guessed it, evil Christians led by a "pious" ringleader who controls them with their own fear of evil and the impure. They take all that's different and burn it at the stake. This was so stupid it was insulting. Not only are we expected to believe that they burned a little girl at the stake as a witch, but that this occurred in 1974 (well it :was: West Virginia).
Nevermind the fact that a) witch burnings NEVER occurred in America and the last witch hanging occurred over 300 years ago (not even close to 1974); b) witch burnings only ever occurred in Europe.
And what the hell were witch burnings and fanatical Christians doing in Silent Hill anyway???
Well, let's take a look at the last movie by director Christophe Gans... that would be the thriller Pacte des Loups - what we in the US know as The Brotherhood of the Wolf.
Advertised as a thriller about an evil supernatural beast that goes around slaughtering folk all over the 18th century French countryside, this film also had my full interest for the first half. Until you find out who the *real* bad guys are. The *true* evil in Brotherhood of the Wolf were a group of fanatical Christians led by a "pious" ringleader who seeks to control the people of France using their own fear of evil and the impure. It was done in a very preachy and exaggerated manner, with none of the subtleties that could've made it remotely believable. Gee, that sounds familiar.
So what we have here is a director whose last 2 movies (Silent Hill and The Brotherhood of the Wolf) were:
TWO VERY DIFFERENT STORIES WHERE THE BAD GUY APPEARED TO BE SOMETHING SUPERNATURAL AND EVIL BUT WAS IN FACT A GROUP OF HYSTERICALLY FANANTICAL CHRISTIANS CONTROLLED BY THEIR OWN FEAR OF DIFFERENCE AND CHANGE, WHO IN TURN SLAUGHTER THE INNOCENT IN HORRIBLY GRAPHIC WAYS TO PROTECT AND RELISH IN THEIR CHRISITIANITY.
Hmmmmmmmm.................................................
Bit of an agenda out there.
Especially when that had absolutely nothing to do with the original Silent Hill storyline. A change in story to make it more accessible and understandable would be fine. BUT DON'T PUT IN SOME GUY'S PREACHY RELIGION-IS-EVIL AGENDA THAT HE DUPLICATED FROM HIS PREVIOUS MOVIE!!!!!!!! That's beyond lame.
Final note: What they did to Cybil was needlessly graphic. It wasn't art, it wasn't horror, it was disgusting and indulgent.
I gave this movie a 5 out of 10 because the first half was perfect and the 2nd merits less than zero.