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militantcactus
Reviews
Dexter (2006)
I'd give it an 8 if it wasn't for Erik King
Late to the party on this series, but it's very good (so far. I'm on season 2).
I like most of the characters, but Doakes... DOAKES!!... urghh! I can't work out if he's badly written or badly acted. I think it's possibly a combination of both.
The acting though is BAAAAD! The facial expressions, the weird physical movements, the delivery... just terrible.
Every scene he's in, he makes me cringe.
So much so, it really spoils my enjoyment of the show.
Aside from that, season one was really good. The identity of the ice truck killer wasn't a shock, but the surprise connection was good.
The development in season 2 is shaping up well.
Bleach (2023)
Shame is such a terrible thing
Found this short film on All4 while scrolling through.
A very powerful film dealing with shame, low self esteem, loneliness, and exploring kink (and trying to cope with getting through the day).
And of course there's the bleach...
As a short film, there isn't a back story, or time for much context. But what we're given is a glimpse into the struggles he is facing.
This is an intriguing film, which left me wanting to know more. This isn't a criticism however. What has been achieved here, is to get me invested in 19 minutes worth of characterisation. No wonder it was nominated for the Iris Prize.
An incredibly sad and powerful film. I'll be checking out more of Daniel Daniel's work if I get the chance.
Superintelligence (2020)
Dreadful
Melissa Mccarthy plays the same character as always, James Corden sounds like he's reading from the script.
38 minutes in and I'm struggling to find the comedy, or any kind of chemistry between any of the characters.
There's no discernble plot either.
I've liked some of Melissa Mccarthy's previous films, although as I've said, they're all much the same, but this is a massive misfire.
The Knight Riidee thing was cute I guess, but the whole 'is this funny?' joke gets old very quickly.
I'm at a constant loss as to why anyone thinks James Corden is funny. This is a dialed in performance, taking the money, and running.
Avoid!
Locke & Key (2020)
A series of bad decisions
Urgh.... Not sure why this series gets such good reviews. Season one was ok, although the mum was devoid of pretty much any emotion. Not sure if this was bad acting or bad direction. Season two dragged for the first four episodes, and there's too much Gabe and Eden chewing scenery. There's just not enough Dodge. Every decision made is terrible and ridiculous and annoyed the hell out of me.
It also can't decide if it's a teen drama or something more. Won't be watching season three - I've wasted too much of my time on this already.
Nothing else to say so here are some dots to get up to the 600 characters required..........................
Climax (2018)
I'm obviously missing something!
From the trailer, I was expecting weird, and that was what I got.
Unfortunately the whole thing is incomprehensible drivel.
Might have been ok as a short film. Most scenes drag on , and on, and on.
I didn't care about any of the characters, the end of the film was filmed upside down and was difficult to see what was even going on.
An art film that failed to hold my full attention. I wouldn't even class it as a horror.
Annabelle Comes Home (2019)
Pointless chapter
A film that needn't have been made. It just shows that throwing a hundred ideas together doesn't mean it will all hang together, make any sense, or make it interesting. It was exhausting to watch and not because I was on the edge of my seat. Don't bother.
Stay Close (2021)
Won't be rushing to read Harlem Coben's books!
I watched The Stranger when it came out and wasn't massively impressed. Stay Close is a major step down.
Plot holes big enough to drive trucks through, terrible editing (Ray escaping from a house with police everywhere would be quite difficult, so they just show him running away from outside the house!), dialled in acting, and the major plot twist which most people could probably see coming a mile off.
I wonder if it was just a poorly made series, or whether the source material isn't that good.
And to think Netflix are adapting 14 of his books!
The Grudge (2019)
Dull
The previous Grudge/Ju-on films have been hit and miss. This film however is certainly the worst for various reasons.
The scares aren't scary, the story tries to encompass a period of two years (between the first two American versions) and deliver multiple storylines during this time period, the acting isn't great, there's no cat boy (!), the film doesn't deliver anything we haven't seen before and fails to do it any better.
The result is just quite boring ultimately.
Countdown (2019)
Fairly good, but no new ground
Bit of a mix of Drag Me To Hell, and Final Destination.
Run of the mill horror, predictable scares, but acting was pretty good.
Not terrible, but nothing new.
Wrong Turn (2021)
All the one stars are just because of the title!
Yes it's called Wrong Turn, no it doesn't have cannibals. Apparently that is enough to slate this movie!
Really good film, with lots of blood and gore, and a few twists along the way.
Compared to a lot of the stuff on Netflix, this is a masterpiece!! Give it a watch.
He's All That (2021)
What were people expecting??!
So the acting isn't great, the product placement ridiculous and the storyline a bit suspect, but seriously? What's with the 1 star reviews?
It's a bit of fun, very similar to the original film (which I loved btw) and was never going to be up for any awards. But was it that bad? Not in my opinion, no. Put it this way, I watched til the end.
And yes, the horse scene was hilarious, but so what!
The reviews I've read are super critical of Addison Rae. I've seen much worse acting.
As for the criticism about the dancing - have any of you watched the original?
Watch for a bit of mindless fun, and for one of the annoying characters to be punched in the face!
A Classic Horror Story (2021)
Don't waste your time
Nothing original. Every decent scene from good horror films taken and mashed together to create a seriously terrible movie. I'm sure the writer wanted to say something about society or whatever, and the tries to be clever but fails miserably. Pointless.
Amityville: The Awakening (2017)
Completely agree with the positive reviews
Is this the greatest horror ever made? No.
Is it the worst? Absolutely not.
So it's not the most groundbreaking film, but it's a pretty good sequel to the original film. Let's look at some of the previous efforts in comparison: one will a doll's house, another with an old clock, not to mention the asylum one... all absolutely terrible, with tenuous links to the original story. With this film, it's set in the house (and a pretty good replica it is too) the floor plan is based on the actual house rather than the film version, which perhaps has confused viewers of the original version as the interior was very different, it uses apparent news footage of the Defeo murders, and heavily refers to the book and films made about the supernatural history. This is an absolutely deserved sequel.
The story isn't bad. Some will say that there wasn't enough horror and scares, and that it focused too much on the family, but but for me that made it more successful. The comments about the possession happening too quickly I think is a bit of a misunderstanding. My view is that the events of the film took place over a longer period than immediately evident.
The only real criticism I have is about Jennifer Jason Leigh. Having watched her in a few films over the last few years, she has an air of boredom about each role, with not a huge range of emotion displayed on her face.
I would be interested in seeing what the film was supposed to have looked like before it was cut, but while I think some of the criticism has been about the visual effects (seriously, watch the scene with the bats in 'The Doll' of you want terrible effects!),y feeling is that the cut elementay have included more of these which may have been a detriment to the end result.
Watch with an open mind. It's not half bad.
American Mary (2012)
Just awful
No one in this will ever win an Oscar! Terrible in every conceivable way.
Do yourself a favour and watch something else.
Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (2020)
Comedy of the year
Actually it's the best comedy movie I've seen in a while.
I'm not a great fan of Eurovision it has to be said, although I appreciate the bonkers-ness of it all! But this film was great fun and a gentle ribbing of Icelanders. The final song was absolutely incredible.
Thanks you elves for getting this film made!
Ju-on: Origins (2020)
Nonsensical
I'm sure I must have watched a different show to those giving 10 ratings.
I love the Ju-on films, and alongside Ringu and Dark Water they are high on my list of all-time favourite movies. However, this series bears little resemblance. Sure the little boy, the cat noises, and the house are all there, but the series made little sense. It was difficult to keep up with what was happening, and had elements of Twin Peaks weirdness at times (but far less enjoyable). I desperately wanted to love this series, but I'm afraid to say I didn't like it at all. Very disappointing, and I hope they don't make another.
Dark (2017)
An absolute masterpiece
If you haven't already, go and watch this incredible show! Do not let subtitles put you off, and just be prepared to do the odd bit of pause and rewind, perhaps make a few notes and a bit of googling, but I promise you it will be worth it!
This is a seriously good drama, wrapped around a sci-fi premise.
I'm giving nothing away in my review. For one it would take too long and, trust me, each new twist revelation is just too good to spoil.
This is 3 seasons of pure perfection, with a proper ending that feels like it was planned from the very beginning - a rare thing these days when dramas run and run, until they run out of steam or get cancelled.
I don't give 10s very often, but Dark is absolutely deserving.
Freaks (2018)
Great movie with a decent ending
Caught this on Netflix and was more than pleasantly surprised. I wondered if it was going to be the usual badly acted horror film Netflix seems to have in abundance, but thankfully it wasn't.
The acting was good, the FX was great and the story was actually had a plot with a beginning, middle and proper end.
I'd recommend this film
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015)
I don't understand the hype!
After reading such good reviews, I thought I'd give it a go.
I'm someone who gives things a chance, and I've watched 2 seasons of this on Netflix, but I'm sorry... I don't get why everyone loves it!
It's so cringy! There are so many unlikeable characters (at least I think it's the characters rather than the actors). I get why Kimmy's weird, but she's beyond weird, to a whole other level. Titus is unbearable. And don't get me started on Mimi.
And while it tries to be irreverent and heart warming, it just comes across as completely horrible!
Élite (2018)
Consistently brilliant
Fantastic drama series, with a hugely talented cast.
This is a series which has characters you care enough about to either love or hate - something of a rarity these days. The characterisation is very well written, multifaceted, not 2 dimensional. You get to see deep into these characters, and get to understand them more and more. There are some surprises there!
The story arc across the 3 seasons (so far) hasn't felt stale, with enough sub plots to keep things moving.
The show is very stylish, but it definitely isn't a case of style over substance.
If you haven't watched yet, I urge you to do so!
6 Underground (2019)
A film that couldn't decide quite what it wanted to be...
...before settling on being a hot flashy mess.
I sat through the whole film, but was really ready to give up about 30 until the end. I convinced myself to see it through til the end, but gained nothing from doing so.
An action film? Undoubtedly. A comedy? In parts - jarringly so. Confusing at times, predictable in it's ending, plot holes galore, characters I didn't care about. Even Ryan Reynolds couldn't save this film!
Fractured (2019)
Could have been good
A film which feels like it was written by 16 year old film students. So many scenarios which don't make any sense. Really bad characterisation, especially from the lead. Couldn't figure out what emotions he was trying to play at the start. Could have been a good film but it wasn't.
Pet Sematary (2019)
Pointless and horrible
Terrible remake. Literally every decision by any character makes zero sense. The first twist is a bad decision which influences the direction of the rest of the film, and is only there to 'shock' those who have seen the original film. The ending is rushed and predictable. Not scary in any way. Steer clear and watch the original instead
Look Away (2018)
Wish I had...
This should have been an ok movie. I never expected it to be award winning, but with a fairly decent cast I thought it would be so much better. The actor who plays Maria is pretty terrible, the ice skating scene is laughable, there are plot holes galore, and if you're going to use body doubles at least match the hairstyles! A completely unoriginal, badly acted movie which looks as though it was written and directed by pre-schoolers. Not a so bad it's good movie, it was just bad. Avoid!
Sebelum Iblis Menjemput (2018)
Awful
Awful acting, awful music, terrible Evil Dead rip off.